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Old 07-25-2012, 11:46 PM
 
3,963 posts, read 4,951,596 times
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I just started this thread as there was an interesting point made which warranted a reply but I didn't want to further derail the thread. Feel free to address the thread's official question or to piggy back off my conversation or both.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07 View Post
Even if there's nothing fishy going on and he's just stockpiling money on the side for whatever reason, I'd still be hurt to find that out in a marriage. To me, that says he doesn't trust his wife enough to have an open discussion about how he wants to spend money.

I have absolutely no problems with my husband putting money aside for hobbies or personal interests for himself, but I want to know that it's going on so that I have an accurate view of our whole financial situation.
I understand that but why do you find it so important that you want to know. It is his money that he earned. I could see your point if it was from his main job but the only money coming in is his share of the profit from the side project which has nothing to do with her at all. Why do you consider a part of the financial situation. It really isn't in the joint financial situation just his.
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Old 07-25-2012, 11:55 PM
 
Location: The Present
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how do I feel about joint bank accounts?

the same way I feel about losing the ability to breath, no thanks.
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Old 07-26-2012, 02:59 AM
 
Location: My House
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I think they work for some situations.

We have a joint money market account. We mostly use it to push funds back and forth to each other.

Our checking is separate. Ditto our personal savings and money market accts.
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Old 07-26-2012, 03:07 AM
 
Location: Australia
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I had a joint bank account with my ex but I was a stay at home mum and handled all the money anyway. Both parties should always maintain their own private bank account and I did so, but my husband did not - his choice.

I believe all money is 100% pooled and budgeted if you decide to become a family unit, by which I mean get married and/or have children.

Other than that it should not be a joint bank account UNLESS it is a joint bank account specifically for shared living expenses eg, mortgage. utilities, food shopping. It should basically run at zero, just have enough to cover necessities, and the individuals keep their own money separate after first dividing those costs.

Makes things one heck of a lot easier when it's breakup day, trust me.
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Old 07-26-2012, 03:09 AM
 
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There's no need for everything to be joint when you're married. There should be one joint account used to pay certain general household bills that both people contribute to (like the mortgage, car payments, property taxes, ligh/electric bill, etc), but other than that, everything else should be kept seperate. IRA, money market, stock/bond portfolios, and checking/savings accounts should all be seperate, and if one person needs some extra spending money for whatever reason, ask your spouse to give you some extra money.

Just because you're married doesn't mean it's open season on your spouse's hard earned funds and vice versa.

Last edited by bicoastal10; 07-26-2012 at 03:24 AM..
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Old 07-26-2012, 03:16 AM
 
Location: Australia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bicoastal10 View Post
There's no need for everything to be joint when you're married. There should be one joint account used to pay certain household bills that both people contribute to (like the mortgage, car payments, property taxes, ligh/electric bill, etc), but other than that, everything else should be kept seperate. IRA, money market, stock/bond portfolios, and checking/savings accounts should all be seperate, and if one person needs some extra money for whatever reason, ask your spouse to give you some extra money.

Just because you're married doesn't mean it's open season on your spouses hard earned funds and vice versa.
Strictly speaking, in the eyes of the law, it does.

Yet another reason I will never marry again, unless he's richer than me.
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Old 07-26-2012, 03:26 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope View Post
Strictly speaking, in the eyes of the law, it does.

Yet another reason I will never marry again, unless he's richer than me.
In the eyes of the law, sure, but none of that should go into effect unless you're in the process of a divorce.
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Old 07-26-2012, 03:29 AM
 
Location: Planet Earth, USA
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This was just discussed last month. Here's a 17 page thread about it

Separate or joint banking accounts?
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Old 07-26-2012, 11:17 AM
 
10,109 posts, read 9,420,897 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope View Post
I had a joint bank account with my ex but I was a stay at home mum and handled all the money anyway. Both parties should always maintain their own private bank account and I did so, but my husband did not - his choice.

I believe all money is 100% pooled and budgeted if you decide to become a family unit, by which I mean get married and/or have children.

Other than that it should not be a joint bank account UNLESS it is a joint bank account specifically for shared living expenses eg, mortgage. utilities, food shopping. It should basically run at zero, just have enough to cover necessities, and the individuals keep their own money separate after first dividing those costs.

Makes things one heck of a lot easier when it's breakup day, trust me.
I'm for joint and separate bank accounts, but agree with you that money earned in a marriage is joint, regardless of who earned it. Doesn't mean I should have free access to that money that I didn't actually earn, but really, in a marriage, I think you would want to share extra with your spouse in some way. People doing side jobs for extra income, as opposed to a second job just to make ends meet, is taking away free time from your marriage/family. Spouses and maybe even kids are compensating for how you're not contributing at home during that free time beyond your 40 hour a week job.

Problems can arise in marriages when you view everything as "yours versus mine", rather than "ours".
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Old 07-26-2012, 11:20 AM
 
3,963 posts, read 4,951,596 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
I'm for joint and separate bank accounts, but agree with you that money earned in a marriage is joint, regardless of who earned it. Doesn't mean I should have free access to that money that I didn't actually earn, but really, in a marriage, I think you would want to share extra with your spouse in some way. People doing side jobs for extra income, as opposed to a second job just to make ends meet, is taking away free time from your marriage/family. Spouses and maybe even kids are compensating for how you're not contributing at home during that free time beyond your 40 hour a week job.

Problems can arise in marriages when you view everything as "yours versus mine", rather than "ours".
So, you're saying that the extra money earned on the side that isn't needed for daily life should also belong to the spouse as compensation for not spending time with them? What? Does that mean you have to pay for time you spend by yourself? You don't need to be with your spouse 100% of the time.
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