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I'm now wondering this because I can't recall any moment of ever really feeling terribly bad about something I did to someone nor was I ever overwhelmed with guilt.
I'll be turning 18 soon but here are some things about me and what I've done:
1) Felt nothing when shown a video about the Holocaust in the 7th grade (was 12 then) while some of my classmates were either sad or crying. To me it was just like a ''whatever, so what'' reaction.
2) Used to be a bed wetter as a kid but I outgrew it in my teens
3) Last year, I spread a bad rumor about a guy's gf and made them break up. I did it to steal her bf and not even seeing the girl cry made me feel remorseful (I'm aware this isn't a normal feeling but it felt good). Yeah the girl hates me (well I did some stunts too) and must be expecting me to apologize but I just don't feel it. I can't say sorry when I feel nothing.
4) Lying to everyone, even my parents and have stole a bit of money from them... don't feel bad about it either.
5) I have forged my father's signature before on field trips papers and other documents given by the school and no one ever noticed that.
Well I can go on but that's just about it. I feel like a weird girl. It's like I have no compassion nor guilt for anything nor anyone. The way to explain this is I would feel nothing if I were to stomp on someone's foot hard, my reaction would be to either walk away or find it funny.
This cannot be linked to a learned behavior since it is very complex..
There are so many varients that it is difficult.
What I can say? Is based off of my personal experience.
1. I was adopted..already a issue since in my case it would seem as nothing lasts forever, there is something wrong with me and everyone leaves eventually. Which would make me apathetic and guarded, caring little about the outside world and only caring for number one..and those whom have earned my trust..
Every one is expendable and I should care about me.
2. I was raised by two fabulous individuals whom still support me. During my childhood I was shown the world as it Is and not how it should be. I was raised on the news and disaster and my parents stated how this is wrong! How everyone should have respect for human life, how others have very little, children are starving and dying, how we are not all born the same, how there are those that will be ostracized because of their ethnicity, preconceived notions, circumstances out of their control.
3. How everyone deserves to have a shot at life, however they are born with disabilities, not out of natures way but because their parents did not care for themselves, these children are not to blame and should not be cast out as misfits simply because they seem not to care, every being in this world has feelings,pain and happiness are felt by every being.
4. I was taught that only the ignorant poke fun nor do they want to understand what occurs out of their reach of existence. They live blind and mute to the real world around them
5. I was taught to be honest, tht even when I messed up I should be honest because LIFE does have a funny way of repaying the wicked.
6. I was taught when saw I saw injustice I could do two things, I could lie down like a coward and go along with the rest of the fools or I could stand up for what was right and stick up for those that injustices were happening to and be a part of the solution instead of the problem which seem to plague society, I was taught that being right did not mean it was going to be easy, that there would be resistance but that doing what was right meant you could hold your head up high.
I come from 2 extremes I am a statistic however I had good teachers which made me who I am today.
I think lack of compassion and guilt comes from extrinsic and intrinsic locations.
The extrinsic comes from no teaching, no morals, no real teachable moments,not enough social and emotional responsibility I think it comes from massive abuse ( emotional and physical) from an early age with no intervention of any kind. We see this with sociopaths. Intrinsic? Delves deeper into the self.
While the education is there, the social awareness, the personal accountability is absent due to temperament, mental illness and is inherent. My opinion.
ill break it down this way since you used it as an example.
i do not fully feel the weight of the holocaust because i have no other situation in my life that compares to it as it was. i have however lost a child of my own through anothers reckless actions, many family member who i knew and had a deep connection too. though im not able to fully get the impact of an event like the holocaust because i wasn't there to have a personal connection to it i can relate to it on the level of losing people i loved/too soon and for reasons out of their or my own control.
you cant have a reaction without a cause, and people saying "you should feel someway" isn't what causes people to have feeling
unless you have some other mental or chemical thing happening that doesn't allow your brain to function like the mass majority. to which, i would ask you if you had ever seen someone or talked about it before to help you understand better? if you honestly feel as though you may have a serious issue feeling, its worth your time to seek help in order to better understand.
Last edited by rego00123; 08-03-2012 at 11:42 PM..
Reason: mobil browser woes
There is nothing weird about you and don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise.
Guilt and compassion are feelings you can control.
So unless you WANT to feel them, for whatever reason, you won't.
You have to convince yourself that what you're doing is wrong if you want to feel bad about it.
For instance, you hear about people dying or getting tortured on the News everyday. Since you don't want to feel like **** every time you watch the news, you can simply choose not to feel anything for them.
On the other hand, you might choose to feel bad for slaughtered animals or kids in Africa because you know that knowing you're doing something to help them makes you feel good and righteous.
As long as you are able to feel positive emotions and try to keep out of trouble, I don't really see an issue here.
If, for whatever reason, you want to become more empathetic, I think the best way is to watch movies or read books where the main character suffers because of other people; if you can manage to put yourself in their shoes, that might help you do so with people in real life as well.
you cant have a reaction without a cause, and people saying "you should feel someway" isn't what causes people to have feeling
True. I still find it funny when others cry at films like that.
To me, they can put all horrible disaster for all I care and it will still not make me breakdown. The world is gonna be the same, just with lesser people but it'll still be functioning.
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