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I'm a quarter century old. My biggest problem is my social awkwardness; which has been a MAJOR impediment in my life, and why I have not had a GF.
It should be known that I am an Aspie, and before you rail on the fact that I am using it as an excuse; it is a serious problem for some of us.
Onward....
I ask a girl on a date, no matter where she lives, and she sees me like I am either Charlie Sheen, Casey Anthony, Jerry Sandusky, or all three. Also not helping things is the impression that girls aren't friend-zoning me, they are putting bounties on my head. (Not trying to be funny, it's my personal convictions speaking.)
Simply put, I am not having much luck with girls because of the social awkwardness and the aforementioned being-compared-to-maniacs. I feel sad, and that coupled with being a virgin still doesn't help matters.
: a reward, premium, or subsidy especially when offered or given by a government: as
a: an extra allowance to induce entry into the armed services
b: a grant to encourage an industry
c: a payment to encourage the destruction of noxious animals
d: a payment for the capture of or assistance in the capture of an outlaw
Well, it's more like wanting me gone, to put it nicely.
Secondly, it's because I try and say something nice, like ask someone out on a date, they see me as a maniac, like those three figures I mentioned.
I realize that being an Aspie has a big impact on your social interractions, but you shouldnt blame your problem on your condition. Unless you can wake up tomorrow and not be an aspie, there is no point in doing so. Ask yourself this question - are there any people on this planet, who share your medical condition yet are able to find a person and be in a relationship? If the answer is yes, that means you are putting blame where it doesnt belong. The only way to overcome social awkwardness, or any other fear for that matter, is to face it head on. If girls are freind zoning you, most likely it means that you are being too nice too them. Try being less nice and treat them like your equals, and you wont be freiund zoned nearly as much. Are you seeing a therapist for your condition?
Thanks Pik, i misread the friend zoning part, but i did state that being aspie has a big impact on your social interractions, i totaly get that. Since AS is not something you can just overcome, wouldnt it be beneficial to keep it out of the equation altogether and figure out ways HOW someone with this condition can be more social and/or find a partner? I imagine a therapist or a specialist in that area could help alot more with this situation.
You can't keep it out of the equation AND try and think of ways how someone with it can be more social.
I have learned with my daughter being in school that over the months and years of being with the same students, they learn to accept her behavior. Oh its just Lindsay. Throw her into a NEW situation and it is a total different story.
Say we walk into a small store, like a Starbucks. There is a woman scantily clad. You and I know she shouldn't have it all hanging out in here, with her young child, and we may look at eachother like OMG but we say nothing, possibly waiting til she leaves.
My daughter would say, "Mommy can you believe this woman would come in here with her little kids and have her boobs and butt hanging out all over the place? Her dress was even ugly and so is that necklace. What's it made out of? Toothpicks or something?"
Oh it can get worse than any of that. If someone upsets her, she will have no problem just going off. A therapist is a good thing.
Usually you don't know if she is going to say something but when she starts, I usually try and nudge her. Or if it comes out, I take her aside and let her know it wasn't appropriate. She gets upset and DOES realize it was inappropriate, but couldn't help it coming out... =(
She normally apologizes, with tears in her eyes. I can't imagine how any of this could fit into meeting new people in the dating arena. My daughter is on the very high end of the spectrum.
On a semi-related note, I could indeed use some help within the Western WA area...... my ultimate goal is to be a history teacher, preferably in the Los Angeles area.
You can't keep it out of the equation AND try and think of ways how someone with it can be more social.
I have learned with my daughter being in school that over the months and years of being with the same students, they learn to accept her behavior. Oh its just Lindsay. Throw her into a NEW situation and it is a total different story.
Say we walk into a small store, like a Starbucks. There is a woman scantily clad. You and I know she shouldn't have it all hanging out in here, with her young child, and we may look at eachother like OMG but we say nothing, possibly waiting til she leaves.
My daughter would say, "Mommy can you believe this woman would come in here with her little kids and have her boobs and butt hanging out all over the place? Her dress was even ugly and so is that necklace. What's it made out of? Toothpicks or something?"
Oh it can get worse than any of that. If someone upsets her, she will have no problem just going off. A therapist is a good thing.
Usually you don't know if she is going to say something but when she starts, I usually try and nudge her. Or if it comes out, I take her aside and let her know it wasn't appropriate. She gets upset and DOES realize it was inappropriate, but couldn't help it coming out... =(
She normally apologizes, with tears in her eyes. I can't imagine how any of this could fit into meeting new people in the dating arena. My daughter is on the very high end of the spectrum.
What I mean by saying keep it out of the equation, is to accept it and look for solutions with that acceptance in mind. It does impact social interractions in a big way, but im also certain that there are aspies who are in relationships and were able to find a partner in one way or another. Perhaps those people or a specialist/therapist would be the proper people to ask
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