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I said read too much INTERNET, if you mean books then yeah, no such thing as reading too much. But the internet is full of nonsense pretending to be gospel and it kind of has a way of taking on a life of it's own that is separate from actual reality.
Agree and I think it's time for me to back away from this forum. Way too much crap being spouted here and I did tell myself one time that I wanted to get better, not get any worse by allowing this craziness to get to me.
That's possible, but at the heart of PUA is social ineptness, social anxiety for some, insert personal issues from A to Z depending on the follower. .
Just wanted to come back to this and say that you're right. The thing is, why do men have such anxiety when they approach women? And their own women from their own civilization for crying out loud!
I will tell you why..... Western women, on average, are simply not approachable. By that I mean, if you show genuine interest in a Western woman (which is normal behavior!), and you walk up to introduce yourself (next logical step), Western women will often throw up an ice shield and become very cold, distant, and repulsed from your presence.
Every woman is different, but some women will even go as far as completely ignoring you, to others becoming very irate and hostile towards you just for bothering them. It does not even make any sense because many of these women dress provocatively, but then they get upset because they're getting hit on.
So with that said, it's only a matter of time were as a guy you build up all these phobias/insecurities surrounding women and approaching them that came about through no fault of your own.
PUA came along to address the issue, and it does indeed work, but I find it utterly absurd that I need to pull out magic tricks and change my identity to that of some kind of quasi entertainer just to get a girl to talk to me. In other countries men don't have to go this extreme length to seek out female attention/affection.
Last edited by calicali01; 08-14-2012 at 09:40 AM..
Just wanted to come back to this and say that you're right. The thing is, why do men have such anxiety when they approach women? And their own women from their own civilization for crying out loud!
I will tell you why..... Western women, on average, are simply not approachable. By that I mean, if you show genuine interest in a woman (which is normal behavior!), and you walk up to introduce yourself (next logical step), Western women will often throw up an ice shield and become very cold and distant from you.
Every woman is different, but some women will even go as far is completely ignoring you, to others becoming very irate and hostile towards you just for bothering them. It does not even make any sense because many of these women dress provocatively, but then they get upset because they're getting hit on.
.
But aren't you assuming that every woman is up for grabs, and that she has to welcome every advance with open arms and a big smile. Women have autonomy over their lives, and just because a guy thinks she's cute doesn't mean she has to disrupt her life to acknowledge his interest. Doesn't mean she can avoid the social contract or gets to be a jerk, but the sense of entitlement that the above post displays (that she owes something to him because he said "hello") doesn't work.
But aren't you assuming that every woman is up for grabs, and that she has to welcome every advance with open arms and a big smile.
Nope, not at all. Men know some women are taken and that many women will reject our advances; that's fair.
The problem is the open hostility/rudeness that is directed towards us for simply approaching to see what your availability is. Why can't Western women take each man as a case by case basis where by if a guy is a civil and polite just let him down easy if you don't like him? He would be more inclined to talk to the next girl then give up completely like many guys already have.
Either way, I know Western woman CAN be friendly, they talk to strange gay guys and other women with no defensive measures in place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
Women have autonomy over their lives, and just because a guy thinks she's cute doesn't mean she has to disrupt her life to acknowledge his interest. Doesn't mean she can avoid the social contract or gets to be a jerk, but the sense of entitlement that the above post displays (that she owes something to him because he said "hello") doesn't work.
Nope, not at all. Men know some women are taken and that many women will reject our advances; that's fair.
The problem is the open hostility/rudeness that is directed towards us for simply approaching to see what your availability is. Why can't Western women take each man as a case by case basis where by if a guy is a civil and polite just let him down easy if you don't like him? He would be more inclined to talk to the next girl then give up completely like many guys already have.
Either way, I know Western woman CAN be friendly, they talk to strange gay guys and other women with no defensiveness measures in place..
I'd have to wonder what kind of women you're approaching. Women in the top 5 or 10% get approached so often, they get tired of it. Women who get approached less often are a lot more open to it, or at least, will be polite, rather than giving you an annoyed brush-off.
The problem is the open hostility/rudeness that is directed towards us for simply approaching to see what your availability is. Why can't Western women take each man as a case by case basis where by if a guy is a civil and polite just let him down easy if you don't like him? He would be more inclined to talk to the next girl then give up completely like many guys already have.
Either way, I know Western woman CAN be friendly, they talk to strange gay guys and other women with no defensiveness measures in place.
We have our guard up because we have been experiencing street harassment since puberty or before. You guys are building up mistrust before we are old enough to experience relationships.
Personally, I remember hearing lewd contacts as a brownie! In elementary school.
When I was around 8, some older boys walked by and said "ooh you are a brownie, I want to eat you." This was of course when I thought boys had cooties. So obviously I ignored them. But these were high school age boys. So they knew what it meant. They were across the street, so maybe there was no potential harm.
But when you are 8 and getting in appropriate comment while wearing a girl scout uniform, and it just keeps getting escalated as you get older, why should you be outwardly friendly to any dude walking down the street starting to talk to you? You don't know their intentions at all.
In my opinion the thing about PUA that is most important, is giving a man confidence and the ability to handle rejection. The guys who attempt PUA and are frustrated with it are usually guys who expect the one liners, and anything else to work more than it does. If a guy has an understanding that he may get a lot of rejections, and not take it to heart, and learn from those rejections, he will be fine and it will work for him. Having said that, I personally wouldn't recommend PUA, because I think that it is mostly common sense and a waste of money, but if a guy feels this is an option, then he shouldn't go into it thinking PUA is the magic pill that is going to get him a woman every time he uses a PUA line.
We have our guard up because we have been experiencing street harassment since puberty or before. why should you be outwardly friendly to any dude walking down the street starting to talk to you? You don't know their intentions at all.
This is why a lot of women don't respond to being approached on the street. This is why slightly more private venues work better (grocery store, gym, coffee shop, art gallery, bookstore, lectures, concerts, classes/workshops, etc.) Women often have to navigate past construction site catcalls, groups of guys loitering on street corners routinely harassing women, etc., so their guard is up in a street environment.
Ironic that you want "Western women" to see men as individuals, don't you think?
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