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Now I am a straight male who has always supported the possibility of homosexuals getting civil unions, or even married in Churches that will allow gay marriages in their church. I don't believe a church should be forced to marry someone they don't want to, however. But I am all for gay rights.
However, a couple months ago I found out that I have a gay brother. And what puzzled me the most is that his entire life, he had always been a lady's man. Always digged chicks, and had plenty of girlfriends. He is 18 now, and came out when he was 17.
I am just curious as to input on whether or not this is some type of biological mechanism, or something you 'learn' or create overtime. Possibly a mixture of both? Say you are born with a different chemical makeup in the brain, and that enables you to be more susceptible to being gay.
Again, not trying to offend, but I am sick of hearing people who don't know what the hell they are talking about tell me their opinions. I would much rather hear it from gay people themselves. I am not going to debate you on anything, or insult you because frankly I believe that is ignorant. All I want is first hand knowledge, which is more important than any straight persons opinion who doesn't know what it is like to be gay.
If you could tell me when you started having homosexual feelings, and when you finally came out gay too, that would be great.
Now I am a straight male who has always supported the possibility of homosexuals getting civil unions, or even married in Churches that will allow gay marriages in their church. I don't believe a church should be forced to marry someone they don't want to, however. But I am all for gay rights.
However, a couple months ago I found out that I have a gay brother. And what puzzled me the most is that his entire life, he had always been a lady's man. Always digged chicks, and had plenty of girlfriends. He is 18 now, and came out when he was 17.
I am just curious as to input on whether or not this is some type of biological mechanism, or something you 'learn' or create overtime. Possibly a mixture of both? Say you are born with a different chemical makeup in the brain, and that enables you to be more susceptible to being gay.
Again, not trying to offend, but I am sick of hearing people who don't know what the hell they are talking about tell me their opinions. I would much rather hear it from gay people themselves. I am not going to debate you on anything, or insult you because frankly I believe that is ignorant. All I want is first hand knowledge, which is more important than any straight persons opinion who doesn't know what it is like to be gay.
If you could tell me when you started having homosexual feelings, and when you finally came out gay too, that would be great.
Most gay people would say that they were so from the beginning. My friend had a son who was gay. She knew he was gay from when he was a child. People don't "decide" they are suddenly gay, they "realize" that they were all along. It's not uncommon for a gay man to date women all through high school. Can you imagine how difficult it must be to grow up gay in a straight world? My friend Tim dated women up into his 20s. He told me that for years he was "a gay man pretending to be straight." Some gay people never come out of the closet and pretend to be straight all their lives. They get married and have children, but their spouses always know that something isn't quite right.
Maybe it's difficult for you to imagine why your brother, this guy who appeared straight for so long, suddenly "decided" to become gay. You are lucky that your brother is out of the closet and that he has the strength and courage to be honest about who he is. He must have a very supportive and loving family to accept him for who he is.
Most gay people would say that they were so from the beginning. My friend had a son who was gay. She knew he was gay from when he was a child. People don't "decide" they are suddenly gay, they "realize" that they were all along. It's not uncommon for a gay man to date women all through high school. Can you imagine how difficult it must be to grow up gay in a straight world? My friend Tim dated women up into his 20s. He told me that for years he was "a gay man pretending to be straight." Some gay people never come out of the closet and pretend to be straight all their lives. They get married and have children, but their spouses always know that something isn't quite right.
Maybe it's difficult for you to imagine why your brother, this guy who appeared straight for so long, suddenly "decided" to become gay. You are lucky that your brother is out of the closet and that he has the strength and courage to be honest about who he is. He must have a very supportive and loving family to accept him for who he is.
Greenie
My dad doesn't support it. I do, because I believe God makes everyone a way for a reason. And so does my mom, because she isn't religious and thinks it is all biological. But I think I would still like to know some opinions from gay people as to when they really accepted or found out they were gay. Sorry if it is too personal, I am just curious.
There are several out gay folks on the board. Sooner or later they'll see the thread, and I bet some of them will be willing to share.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jak88
My dad doesn't support it. I do, because I believe God makes everyone a way for a reason. And so does my mom, because she isn't religious and thinks it is all biological. But I think I would still like to know some opinions from gay people as to when they really accepted or found out they were gay. Sorry if it is too personal, I am just curious.
My dad doesn't support it. I do, because I believe God makes everyone a way for a reason. And so does my mom, because she isn't religious and thinks it is all biological. But I think I would still like to know some opinions from gay people as to when they really accepted or found out they were gay. Sorry if it is too personal, I am just curious.
jak88,
It's not too personal, and it shows that you care enough about your brother to ask. It's not uncommon for a father to struggle with a son's homosexuality. Some fathers overcome it; some do not. Hopefully you're dad will come to terms with this, but it might take a long, long time.
I'm not gay. I'm a straight woman. I knew I was straight as a child because I would get crushes on boys, but that was never a problem because I was growing up in a straight world, and it was expected.
Maybe some gay men lurking on the forum will offer some of their personal experiences.
well....i used to date alot of guys.....and then well...i met this girl...and she took my breath away....ok to simply put it you dont really fall in love with the gender you fall in love with the person and if the person happens to be of the same sex then you should consider yourself "gay"....im not bisexual never have been...i just dont see myself with a man...only women after meeting her it only takes one person to change your mind of what you thought was your comfort zone...
Last edited by toodles2me; 10-03-2007 at 08:20 PM..
Reason: wanted to add on
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