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Something else I'm confused about: Why would he go on a date with me if he knew he wasn't looking for a relationship?
Because he wants casual sex.
If casual sex was his intention all along, why wouldn't he bring that up before we even met?
Because telling his prey may affect his chances of hitting it.
And if it wasn't and him saying he didn't want a relationship right now was his way of turning me down, why does he continue to talk to me and flirt with me?
Because he still wants casual sex.
Men are so confusing. Can any guys explain this?
I'm a female (sorry) but he's a player.
My bet is he wants a virgin (all men do) which explains his still "flirting" with you...he just doesn't want a CLINGY virgin who turns into a bunny boiler the second she figures out he's used her for casual sex.
Don't over think it, his motives are obvious.
If you do persist with this guy, we'll be seeing a thread saying "he took my virginity and now wont take my calls" in 3, 2, 1...
He doesn't only hang out with me when he's in the mood, when we hang out we go do things like bowling. And he's never hung out with me when he was drinking, the only times I've talked to him when he was drinking were the two times he called me.
I want him because he's a nice guy. I think our personalities mesh well. He's a lot of fun to be around. I've never had a guy be as nice to me as he has been.
What has he done that's nice? He told you he would be busy the next couple of days when you asked. You know he drinks fairly often in his spare time. You know he sees other women. What's to like? There are so many guys out there that would be a better fit for you. What's the hurry to find a bf, anyway? It sounds to me like you need to learn to be more selective.
Do you feel like having a bf validates you, somehow, or helps you feel more secure? Something internal is driving you to try to pick up guys or let them pick you up (whether or not sex is involved, which it sounds like it isn't). The choices you've been making haven't been in your best interests, which is a flag telling you to slow down and figure out why that is.
Before we even first met I told him I couldn't go very far because I didn't have much gas and didn't get paid for a couple of days. When I got to the place I met him at he put $20 in my gas tank. I've never had a guy be so generous to me. And he flirts with me and tells me I'm cute, and calls me sweety, and actually touches without me doing it first. No one has ever done that before, not even my ex boyfriends.
I was hoping he'd shake the whole casual sex thing with other women and start to like me. I tried showing him I actually care. I remember all the little things he's told me in conversations like his favorite colors and stuff, I want to help with his problems, be there for him, etc.
So this guy and I met online about a month ago. We met in person about a week later and had a blast, we sat and talked nonstop for 6+ hours. The next day though I called and asked if he wanted to hang out again that night, and he said he was busy and would be busy the next night. However he did text and call me a few times over the next couple of days, though. But those 2 times he called he was drinking, and one time he texted and said "is it bad if i say i'm in the mood?"
A few days after our date I texted him and asked him if he was interested in dating anyone else, and he said "kind of" and then said "i'm not looking for a relationship right now."
He won't have sex with me because I'm a virgin and he says he doesn't have sex with virgins if it's not going to go anywhere, but he still hangs out with me sometimes. And when we do he always flirts with me. I asked him if he was stringing me along and he said no. He does know I like him, though. And once I asked if he liked me and could see us being together and he said "i haven't known you long enough to even know if we'd be compatible".
I've also learned that he only has female friends, and doesn't like having male friends, if that means anything.
So what I want to know is is he into me at all? Was his goal when we first met up to find another girl to screw and once he learned I was a virgin it ruined it for him? Is there anything I can do to make him want a relationship with me, or should I move on before I get more attached and end up heartbroken?
My crystal ball says that you will continue to pursue this guy, he will take what is being offered to him on a silver platter, perhaps even your virginity, and then when you find out he's been dating other people all along, like he has told you he is, you'll call him a loser, too.
Do yourself a favor: Forget guys for a while. You're about to start school. Focus on that. It's more important, and you're going to meet a ton of people there, anyway.
I hung out with him last night. After a few hours he hugged me and started kissing me all over my face, trying to get me to kiss him, and I wouldn't. This morning he sent a text saying "I just want to apologize for my behavior last night. Sorry."
I hung out with him last night. After a few hours he hugged me and started kissing me all over my face, trying to get me to kiss him, and I wouldn't. This morning he sent a text saying "I just want to apologize for my behavior last night. Sorry."
I'm so confused.
Nimzy, I think you want a bf so badly, you're trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole (figuratively speaking, ). You're hoping he'll say and do all the right things, but he is who he is. He's not right for you, no matter how badly you want him to be. Maybe he texted you to "hang out" because he was hoping to turn the situation into a booty call, but you didn't go along with his plan, so later he apologized, because he still wants to try to play you.
Maybe. But do you really need this guy? Do you really need ANY guy right now? You're not going to be able to focus on your studies if you have confusion and drama like this going on. School is an opportunity for you to become an emotionally independent person, which you don't seem to be right now. You seem needy. Take this opportunity for a sort of make-over, a new, strong, independent you. Otherwise, you'll find yourself getting into major trouble. Not all guys will be like this one, at least half-respecting your boundaries. You're making yourself vulnerable to being taken advantage of. The neediness is putting you at risk.
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). You're hoping he'll say and do all the right things, but he is who he is. He's not right for you, no matter how badly you want him to be. Maybe he texted you to "hang out" because he was hoping to turn the situation into a booty call, but you didn't go along with his plan, so later he apologized, because he still wants to try to play you. 
