Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Judging? Controlling? You're so dramatic and accusatory. That's not what's happening at all. We both talked about my leaving and we both agreed to enjoy our time together. In fact, he was the one concerned whether or not I would be capable of being happy together and now he's the one who is falling into a depression over it. If he couldn't be happy, why did he agree to this?
Which is why I think I'll ask him if he's happy in this relationship or if we would be better off apart. Thanks to those who offered advice rather than ignorant accusations.
Wo you are sorely mistaken. This post here alone speaks volumes. Don't be so quick to defend yourself. Take a step back outside of your own world sometimes. You've got a lot to learn and any job worth having will demand that you develop that skill or you will be replaced. You may not get it now but you will sooner or later. One way or the other.
Try taking a step in other peoples shoes for a bit, if not for others --atleast for a significant other. That's all LM was saying.
Constructive criticism is healthy and good. If you came here only to hear what pleased you, what was the point of you asking any of us anything?
Like I said one day you will learn. That's so long as you want things of value in your life anyway. Good job, good man by your side, etc.-- that lasts and doesn't come and go anyway.
About six months into my relationship, I made the decision that I would be moving to another state a few months later. Three months before the move, I told my boyfriend. He was understandably unhappy but we both agreed to enjoy the time we had left with the understanding that we would not try to hold up a long term relationship.
Here we are six weeks from the move and I'm wondering if keeping things going was a good idea. He's become increasingly mopey. He gets quiet when we're together and any time I ask him if he's alright, he gives me a fake, faint smile and tells me he's fine. He also has taken to constantly asking me if I'm okay at every little thing. It's driving me crazy and makes me want to avoid him just to escape the emotional guilt.
So is it possible to stay in a doomed relationship and still enjoy each others company? Or does the knowledge that the end is near make it impossible?
So you break the guys heart, THEN you want to know if continuing the relationship is wise??
Have you even considered asking him to go with you? How do you expect him to feel after you drop that crap on him? Devastated, I hope because It sounds like that's what you've done.
you're feeling guilty for a reason.
you should have broken things off the second you decided to move. from what you describe you just put everything in his lap and said "deal with it"
like you said, you knew it was never going to be long term, so why drag it out and ignore it until the bitter end?
So you break the guys heart, THEN you want to know if continuing the relationship is wise??
Have you even considered asking him to go with you? How do you expect him to feel after you drop that crap on him? Devastated, I hope because It sounds like that's what you've done.
T.
I think that it is possible to stay in a doomed relationship, depending on the two people. If you two are able to put your emotions aside, and just basically enjoy a friend that you get to be intimate with, it may work. I don't know if I personnaly am emotionallly capable of it, but I think it is possible.
I think it is obvious that although your bf originally thought he could handle it, in reality, he cannot.
I actually know someone who on multiple occasions, stuck with a doomed relationship. Basically due to logistics is why the person I know stayed in a doomed relationship.
In the end, I think it is a bad practice. The person I know that went through her first 2 relationships like this picked up this mentality permanently. Perhaps she was never really the settling down type anyway, but in either case, to continue in a doomed relationship is probably quite unhealthy.
you're feeling guilty for a reason.
you should have broken things off the second you decided to move. from what you describe you just put everything in his lap and said "deal with it"
like you said, you knew it was never going to be long term, so why drag it out and ignore it until the bitter end?
I don't think that the OP is feeling any guilt over the situation. She's only noticing her bf being mopey around her.
Basically, her bf likes her more than she likes him. And it sounds like when she announced her intentions to move out of state, he was the only person unhappy with the situation. So far, she's not said that she's going to miss him. She didn't (and still hasn't) indicate any regrets over leaving him behind. She only announced to him that she was going and they discussed whether or not to continue being a couple for the next three months.
I don't read anywhere in her posts about being sad over leaving him behind or having any guilt. And she seems puzzled and even annoyed that he's moping over the situation, instead of being Mr. Fun guy. It's like this was only an FWB relationship situation for her.
I want to enjoy the time we have left but he seems incapable of that. I just wonder if I was naive in thinking two people can stay happy in our situation.
Aww, that's a really tough situation...
Ideally, I understand wanting to make the most of your time left, but believe me, it's always different for the person left behind.
You're about to enter a new and exciting phase in your life, and he's left with an empty space where a relationship used to be. This is his unfortunate reality.
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnexpectedError
He gets quiet when we're together and any time I ask him if he's alright, he gives me a fake, faint smile and tells me he's fine.
If you care about him, I would suggest opening the lines of communication and trying to help him come to terms with things. He's just sad and going to miss you!
Get married, then you two can stay together forever!!!
Honestly, I don't know what I'd do. I'd like to think that we'd be able to work through the long distance, but in the end, it isn't fair to either person involved. And somebody new and local always seems to pop up for one person or the other involved in the LDR. It'll be a bittersweet six weeks...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
