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Old 08-12-2012, 09:27 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,887,197 times
Reputation: 11862

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Sometimes it strikes me as a cop-out, an excuse to not try to understand them as an individual, instead assuming that all men/women think exactly alike.

Of course gender does affect psychology, to a degree, but I think there's the risk of totally discounting individual variations in personality that affect thinking and behaviour. Also, why the need to totally 'get' someone, or understand them, as if they're a puzzle or some kind of machine to be 'worked out.' Isn't the whole mystery of it half the fun, anyway?

Sometimes this kind of talk, it's like it makes us out to be different species, or from different planets. I really don't think we're that different as we make out. We want them same things, we have the same desires, fears, motivations.etc. Men are not all sex-crazed Neanderthals and women are not all irrationally emotional wrecks.

And if you really don't understand, it seems some people are too thick to take the effort to actually try to learn about their partner. If they really cared they wouldn't be willfully ignorant, as they are about so many other things. A disconcertingly high percentage of people put their hands and say 'I don't want to/need to know.'

Do you agree/disagree?
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:32 PM
 
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I agree.
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,107,776 times
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Actually, I find the men that say, "I know exactly how women think and if you say otherwise you are lying or in denial" much more irritating than the ones that say, "I don't understand women!"
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:35 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,967,309 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
We want them same things, we have the same desires, fears, motivations.etc.

Do we?

I prefer a mystery over an open book. I don't need to "get" someone or know what they are all about. I have a basic understand that individuals are unique and that's all I need.


Dew - you ain't lyin'.
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:37 PM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,309,885 times
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Given my inability to have a successful long-term romantic relationship with a guy, despite the fact that I have many strong friendships that have endured for years, I think maybe I do get to say "I don't understand men" to a certain extent. I think it would probably be more accurate to say I don't understand romantic relationships, though.
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:37 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,887,197 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Actually, I find the men that say, "I know exactly how women think and if you say otherwise you are lying or in denial" much more irritating than the ones that say, "I don't understand women!"
Good point, that's the other side of the coin. Both, however, I think are undesirable.

The ones who say 'I don't understand men/women' tend to be more gendered in their thinking and more gender conforming.
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:40 PM
 
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agree and disagree. Individuality is important, as is understanding how very different men and women really are, and how they fulfill their roles in our world. living in a democratic country as part of western civilization, these differences become often washed over and forgotten, but they are always there. Do you want a woman who is masculine, and are you attracted to one if she is a good provider and a protector for your family?
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:41 PM
 
18,837 posts, read 37,267,292 times
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Maybe I don't understand myself. And that is why I find messed up men.
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:44 PM
 
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I've never been a difficult to understand guy, and when I've actually gone out of my way to try to be difficult it never went well lol.

Women, on the other hand, unless I've spent enough time with a woman, I don't understand them/her.

I'm a pretty simple person, and I have plenty of patience, but damn if a woman is being difficult, I just walk away.
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:46 PM
 
1,259 posts, read 1,832,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
agree and disagree. Individuality is important, as is understanding how very different men and women really are, and how they fulfill their roles in our world. living in a democratic country as part of western civilization, these differences become often washed over and forgotten, but they are always there. Do you want a woman who is masculine, and are you attracted to one if she is a good provider and a protector for your family?
I took it that the op meant our basic needs. Like Maslow's hierarchy of needs. At a very basic level we all do want the same things. We want to feel valued, loved, respected. We would all dream of being able to love freely and be understood. We want peace and we want happiness. We just want to all breathe, relax, and be ourselves without being judged.

We all aim for things in life that bring us the above in my opinion.
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