Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hello everyone, I'm sure this is not the best place to post this.
I am a 30 year old gay male. I was with my partner for 3 years and then he decides that he's not ready for commitment. We had lived in the PNW for a few months about 2 years ago and we had planned to move back, well obviously we didn't. I still want to make the move, and now that I am single I will be going solo. I plan on moving to the Portland area in the next few months.
Anyways, I just wanted to get some advice if i may. Again, I know this is not the best place to ask this question, but I figured "what the hell"...... Please NO rude comments.......
Question:
How do you let someone out of your heart that you love so much. How does one stop feeling so much pain.
It's been almost 2 months now and of course everyday gets easier. but yesterday I was packing a few of my things in boxes knowing that I will be moving out by the end of the month, and it just made me real emotional. I guess it;s from know that I won't see Criss, that what we had is now gone. It's hard for me cause I was and still am very much in love. and what makes it harder is that he did not cheat, he's not being an ass or anything. He just told me how he felt and he's being kind and sweet about everything. He said that he honestly see's a future for us later in the future. He tells me that he doesn't want to lose me because I'm his best friend. I'm sure we will be good friends at some point. But what do I do now? How can I make my pain go away.
What have some of you done? what helps?
So sorry you're hurting Moderator cut: moved thread, thanks. FWIW, in my experience, the pain diminishes by half each year that passes or until you meet someone new.
Last edited by Kimballette; 08-13-2012 at 03:16 PM..
Reason: Moved thread. Thanks.
The saying that time heals all wounds really is true. It's like when you have the flu and you're laying there miserable...you know it's going to get better, but until it does all you can do is lay there and hurt like hell. Same with a broken heart. Try to find something you enjoy doing to take your mind off things. I read a lot when going through my divorce. I found if I could escape into a good book, then for a short period of time I wouldn't think about the pain. Eventually you find you can go an hour without thinking of it, and then one day a whole day goes by and you realize you haven't thought of them. I think the idea of being friends can be one made with good intentions, but my .02 is if you really want to get over this person you have to cut ALL ties. No hanging out, no phone calls, no texting, don't be FB friends, nothing. Maybe one day you can be friends but not now. Good luck, OP! You'll get through it!
Use this period to spend time with yourself. Use your energy for other things- create something, join a group, make that move to Portland and try to get on with your life. Whatever you do, don't date on the 'rebound'. It's not fair to the new person and it will cause even more hurt in the end. I've never understood why my girlfriends would call for a ladies night after a major break up with a guy. Sure, it's a way to release some energy and temporarily get your mind off this person, but it's not helpful in the long run. Hope that helps.
The best advice I was ever given is to give yourself a prescribed amount of time to wallow, etc. After that, get yourself out and about and box up the reminders. Start living in your reality, without him. You'll discover it's not so bad.
Thank you all so very much for the great advice. It really does help to get a strangers point of view. Friends only tell you what they think you want to hear.
It is getting better like I said, it's just still really hard. I can't really box away all the reminders because everything is a reminder. we bought furnishings together, we have debt together and we also have animals together. so either way their will always be some type of contact between the two of us.
Trust me,after 25 years of marriage,and our split in January,of which I didn't see coming.After 7 months it is getting better,and continues to get better everyday.
As for the animals,my soon to be ex left them (and me),so to me she lost ANY rights to them.
Make sure to do things that are constuctive,i.e. exercise,hang out with friends,attend a church if you go.
DON'T engage in excessive alcohol consumption.
Best of luck to you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
