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Old 08-13-2012, 07:51 PM
 
810 posts, read 1,762,934 times
Reputation: 595

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Below is my list of the Top Ten Most Overused Phrases In Personal Ads. If YOUR ad does not contain any of the following phrases, please contact me immediately!

10) "I live life to the fullest!"

(Is this really the most profound philosophical statement you can come up with? Dig a little deeper, Nietzsche.)


9) "Loves to laugh" or "Fun-loving"

(Alright! A person who enjoys laughter and fun. What a rare individual; I must meet her at once. Just once I'd like to see "loves to sob uncontrollably for days on end.")


8) "I'm ____ years old but I look MUCH younger!"

(Sure you do. And if I just did a couple more sit-ups, I could still make the Giants starting lineup. Is self-delusion great or what?)


7) "I'm a down to earth..."

(If I see this phrase one more time, I'll... I'll... I don't know WHAT I'll do! I might be forced to actually turn off my computer and go interact with people in the REAL world. Okay, I probably wouldn't do anything THAT drastic. But you get the idea.)


6) "I can go from jeans to a cocktail dress in 10 minutes!"

(You must be very proud. I can't believe they haven't made this an Olympic event yet.)


5) "I'm a intelegent..."

(If you can't SPELL intelligent... do you see where I'm going with this? Class? Anyone?)


4) "I'm a typical (insert astrological sign here)."

(Astrology? Yeah, it's a science. I think they use it at NASA. I don't even know where to begin here. If you're looking for some insight into the nature of my character, don't ask me what my sign is. Talk to the Easter Bunny, he has the real inside track on me.)


3) "I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed!"

(Trust me, I will.)


2) "Looking for THE ONE" or "Looking for my Soulmate"

(Really? These are the most fresh and original lines you can come up with? Your mother and I had such high hopes for you. Oh well, there's always trade school.)


And the Number One Most Overused Phrase In A Personal Ad is...

1) "Don't worry, I plan to loose [sic] the weight real soon."

(Ok, it's probably just me, but why am I still worried?)


Put them all together, and the end result usually looks something like this....

"Fun-loving, down-to-earth woman with 5 kids from 5 different fathers seeks a intelegint guy who loves to laugh. Must be in shape! I'm temporarily 50 pounds overweight, but don't worry, I plan to loose the weight right after I finish these fries! Must look like Brad Pitt and be no older than 35! I'm 49 but I look MUCH younger! I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed! I'm a Libra so I live life to the fullest! I get along best with Geminis who have six-figure incomes! Must have a big heart and a bigger house, cuz the landlord just kicked us out!"

(Well, as long you have realistic expectations.)

No sadly I did not make this up myself I found it on the "Best of craigslist" and it made me laugh, a nice way to end a monday at work.
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Old 08-13-2012, 07:58 PM
 
1,523 posts, read 1,953,703 times
Reputation: 2662
That was awesome!

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Old 08-13-2012, 08:01 PM
 
810 posts, read 1,762,934 times
Reputation: 595
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikake View Post
That was awesome!
Thank you, I wanted to add some Monday cheer!! I do have to admit I had a phrase or two on my personal ad the "fun loving."
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Old 08-13-2012, 08:05 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,195 posts, read 107,823,938 times
Reputation: 116097
Didn't you post this same OP a couple of months ago?
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Old 08-13-2012, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,518 posts, read 34,821,209 times
Reputation: 73739
That reminds me of a guy on match who had in his profile that he wanted a woman who could go from the beach to a ball in an hour.

When he contacted me I told him I sooooo wasn't that woman!

Thanks for the laugh!
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Old 08-13-2012, 08:24 PM
 
1,591 posts, read 3,426,272 times
Reputation: 2157
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
That reminds me of a guy on match who had in his profile that he wanted a woman who could go from the beach to a ball in an hour.

When he contacted me I told him I sooooo wasn't that woman!

Thanks for the laugh!
Why? Do you live in Kansas or something?
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Old 08-13-2012, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,518 posts, read 34,821,209 times
Reputation: 73739
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1208 View Post
Why? Do you live in Kansas or something?
Because it takes me an hour alone to get rid of the sand.

Honestly, it takes me longer than an hour to get ready for a black tie event. For what it's worth I've never had a guy complain at the results.
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Old 08-13-2012, 08:31 PM
 
810 posts, read 1,762,934 times
Reputation: 595
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Didn't you post this same OP a couple of months ago?
Nope it may have been posted by someone else.
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Old 08-13-2012, 08:31 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,195 posts, read 107,823,938 times
Reputation: 116097
Quote:
Originally Posted by lostinca View Post
8) "I'm ____ years old but I look MUCH younger!"

6) "I can go from jeans to a cocktail dress in 10 minutes!"
#8 doesn't make sense. You should be able to see from her photo whether she looks much younger than her age, or not. Unless she hasn't posted one. Guys say this on their profiles, too.

Guys actually value skill #6. They hate it when women have to change clothes; they figure they'll be stuck waiting for at least 45 minutes. But...who goes to cocktail parties anymore?
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Old 08-13-2012, 08:33 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,427 posts, read 3,983,022 times
Reputation: 2300
you forgot "i'm a walking contradiction"

i got so sick of reading that back when I was on OKC/POF
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