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Old 08-16-2012, 12:57 PM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,733,597 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
In this context there is. A single mother can mean a women who chose to or was able to raise her child as opposed to when society spirited young pregnant girls away to hide their pregnancy and then got rid of her child. A single mother can mean a divorced or widowed woman with children as opposed to when widows had their children farmed out because they had no means of supporting them without a husband.


Quote:
Where as absentee father just means a man has decided that he dosent want to stick around and be a father to his child for whatever reason.
That is not the definition of absentee father. Absentee father literally means, "does not live in the household." A man can be a loyal husband and father, be served with divorce papers, and become an absentee father and have no choice in the matter.

so yes, they are the same familial description, single mother and absentee father. Both are simply the parents of a child who is raised in a household with only his mother ; the how and why is irrelevant.

Quote:
So the problem of “our crumbling society” is either in men because they aren’t shouldering their responsibilities of being there and caring for their families (absentee fathers) or that women are permitted to keep their children when the father is not in the picture (single mother).
See, this makes me LOL because I knew from your first post that you (A) Erroneously thought I was blaming women, and (B) Then tried to shift the burden towards men. Kind of predictable on your part.

Single motherhood and absentee fatherism can be the man's fault, the woman's fault, both their faults, or neither of their fault. The point isn't to assign blame to a gender, but to simply point out my opinion, that this is an extremely harmful thing for society. Like I said earlier, i'm not currently religious; however I was raised in the methodist tradition which teaches that the fall of the Roman Empire was due to moral and familial decay, and I do not think they were wrong about that.

Quote:
Morality is subjective.
Indeed, and I'm giving my opinion.

Last edited by le roi; 08-16-2012 at 01:09 PM..

 
Old 08-16-2012, 12:58 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,211 posts, read 107,904,670 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
I know exactly what the OP wanted to discuss, I was simply putting it into some kind of perspective. The past always look better when viewed with rose coloured glasses. There was no utopia for mankind, the 1950s were fraught with race issues and other problems just as any other time in history.

I find on this forum, like most other forums people simply are not schooled in history.
I certainly agree with you here. Just because the 50's seemed better for the White middle-class doesn't mean it was the "good old days" for everyone. Was there ever a "good old days" that was good for everyone? Humanity being what it is, at any point in history, someone was oppressing or exploiting someone else, and people were struggling. Though humanity has moved forward to some degree, sometimes the task of building an equitable, economically stable, healthy and rewarding society, whether globally or locally, seems like having to slay a 9-headed dragon, where for every decapitation, three more head grow back in its place.
 
Old 08-16-2012, 01:00 PM
 
14,375 posts, read 18,374,578 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
In this context there is. A single mother can mean a women who chose to or was able to raise her child as opposed to when society spirited young pregnant girls away to hide their pregnancy and then got rid of her child. A single mother can mean a divorced or widowed woman with children as opposed to when widows had their children farmed out because they had no means of supporting them without a husband. Where as absentee father just means a man has decided that he dosent want to stick around and be a father to his child for whatever reason.

So the problem of “our crumbling society” is either in men because they aren’t shouldering their responsibilities of being there and caring for their families (absentee fathers) or that women are permitted to keep their children when the father is not in the picture (single mother).



Morality is subjective.


Food for thought?
Totally - I was just reading how women who are widowed in Afghanistan often put their children into orphanages because they are not allowed to support them. A lot of those orphans over there have large extended families, but their father is dead, so they're effectively viewed as orphans. That's some warped stuff, when your culture makes it impossible for a woman to be a mother to her children.

But I don't think morality is subjective. It's simply a question of "Are my actions harming another?" in my opinion.
 
Old 08-16-2012, 01:05 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,211 posts, read 107,904,670 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post

But the one-sidedness of your definition denies the formerly (in the custodial arena) and in many cases still female-biased system which makes it difficult for fathers to obtain custody (comparatively)
The system is changing, slowly but surely. Judges give primary consideration these days to the best interests of the child. If custody is being given to unfit mothers, that's a crime. More the norm these days is joint custody. If you and others feel there are many cases that are adjudicated wrongly, organize and work to change the system.
 
Old 08-16-2012, 01:05 PM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,733,597 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
le roi is, in my opinion, singularly biased.
How so?
 
Old 08-16-2012, 01:34 PM
 
36,529 posts, read 30,863,516 times
Reputation: 32796
Quote:
That is not the definition of absentee father. Absentee father literally means, "does not live in the household." A man can be a loyal husband and father, be served with divorce papers, and become an absentee father and have no choice in the matter.

Wouldnt he just be a single father? Its not absolute that he is absent. Most custody is 50/50 and the father does have avenues to be present and active in his childs life.
 
Old 08-16-2012, 01:47 PM
 
2,732 posts, read 3,585,243 times
Reputation: 1980
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I certainly agree with you here. Just because the 50's seemed better for the White middle-class doesn't mean it was the "good old days" for everyone. [I]Was[/i] there ever a "good old days" that was good for everyone? Humanity being what it is, at any point in history, someone was oppressing or exploiting someone else, and people were struggling. Though humanity has moved forward to some degree, sometimes the task of building an equitable, economically stable, healthy and rewarding society, whether globally or locally, seems like having to slay a 9-headed dragon, where for every decapitation, three more head grow back in its place.
+1^ Plato talked about an advanced civilization called Atlantis. I believe it was good for everyone then before it was destroyed and humanity scattered about.


 
Old 08-16-2012, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,688 posts, read 5,013,641 times
Reputation: 7588
Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
How so?


I don't say your thoughts or opinions are without merit on this topic; however, they appear to be circular and (this is only MY opinion, so it matters not) kind of self-fulfilling. The bit I quoted earlier, where you were responding to Djuna, for example, read like a bit from Who's on First.
 
Old 08-16-2012, 01:59 PM
 
36,529 posts, read 30,863,516 times
Reputation: 32796
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
Oh, my -- you had me right up until the bolded.

That there are absentee fathers who are precisely what you describe I'll never argue. I despise them.


But the one-sidedness of your definition denies the formerly (in the custodial arena) and in many cases still female-biased system which makes it difficult for fathers to obtain custody (comparatively) AND the cases where women force absenteeism on many fathers for the sake of malfeasance.

le roi is, in my opinion, singularly biased.
Please try not to make the same mistake.

In my opinion that is a single father. Divorced, widowed or never married =single mother, single father.

I am well aware of the bias within the family court system. Fathers that are prevented from being fathers by a corrupt system are on the same page as when women were more than less forced to give up their babies.

Absentee, in my mind, is a choice.
semantics I suspose.
 
Old 08-16-2012, 02:13 PM
 
36,529 posts, read 30,863,516 times
Reputation: 32796
Quote:
See, this makes me LOL because I knew from your first post that you (A) Erroneously thought I was blaming women, and (B) Then tried to shift the burden towards men. Kind of predictable on your part.

Single motherhood and absentee fatherism can be the man's fault, the woman's fault, both their faults, or neither of their fault. The point isn't to assign blame to a gender, but to simply point out my opinion, that this is an extremely harmful thing for society. Like I said earlier, i'm not currently religious; however I was raised in the methodist tradition which teaches that the fall of the Roman Empire was due to moral and familial decay, and I do not think they were wrong about that.

Just trying to clarify what point you are trying to get across. Saying single motherhood is the cause of our crumbling society is open to much interpretation.

What is your solution? To go back to vilifying women who have illigit children making them societal outcasts and reinstituting homes for unwed mothers. That would certainly reduce the number of single mothers. Or are you saying the “lack of morals” and/or abundance of sexual promiscuity and irresponsible sex that has decreased the traditional long term family unit is responsible for our crumbling society?
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