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I don't mean to be negative as most on that list I usually apply to the positive aspects but since this is the relationship forum where sometimes people get cheated on or dumped would those two apply in that case?
dumper~"honey I am leaving you for your best friend"
dumpy~ " oh cool a change, I look forward to it even though I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and my heart is crushed I am in joy not anger"
If a relationship ends, there must be some reason for it ending. So looking at the positive, in the long run, would still apply.
I have a friend who is always telling me "everything happens for a reason." His way of looking at the bright side of what, on the surface, might seem a bad situation.
Got this on my Facebook page this morning and think it could be very valuable info for some here in light of some of the recent threads and posts I've noticed
Successful people Unsuccessful people:
Have a sense of gratitude Have a sense of entitlement
Forgive others Hold grudges (seek revenge)
Accept all responsibility Blame others for their failures (especially the opposite gender) for their failures
Give other people credit Take all the credit of their victories for their victories
Compliment Criticize
Talk about ideas Talk about people
Want others to succeed secretly want others to fail and celebrate when they do
Share information Hoard information and data and data
Set goals and develop Never set goals life plans
Embrace change Fear change
Exude joy Exude anger
Continuously learn Think they know it all
Have empathy for the pain of others Laugh when others are hurting
Operate from a Operate from a transactional perspective
transformational perspective
The right-hand list reads a bit like qualities of a sociopath, and we know that in our culture, especially corporate culture, sociopaths are rewarded. So I don't know how that fits in. I guess it means that aspects of our culture are dysfunctional. I think it's idealistic, or maybe simplistic (however inspiring), to think that the qualities on the left will lead to "success", however that is defined. If defined, at least in part, as economic success, then qualities like drive and dedication should be on the list. How is success defined for the purposes of this list?
The right-hand list reads a bit like qualities of a sociopath, and we know that in our culture, especially corporate culture, sociopaths are rewarded. So I don't know how that fits in. I guess it means that aspects of our culture are dysfunctional.
I don't quite agree my friend.
In SOME places in corporate America I guess that could be true. But in many places it is not true that "sociopaths" are rewarded.
I have watched my husband thrive and succeed in very difficult corporate jobs while maintaining every quality on the "success" side of that list. And he is not the only one I know who has done so.
While it is true that many of the things on the "unsuccessful" side of the list are behaviors exhibited by sociopaths, they are also behaviors that are exhibited by just the plain old emotionally immature among us.
L-M: True, certainly. I wasn't saying that only sociopaths get ahead. And it's definitely nice to know that nice guys are among those who finish first. Your hubby sounds great.
L-M: True, certainly. I wasn't saying that only sociopaths get ahead. And it's definitely nice to know that nice guys are among those who finish first. Your hubby sounds great.
Truly, my husband is a man among men - though he is so humble he would upset with me for declaring him as such!
He is also the greatest love of my life - my teacher, my lover, my friend
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Thank you!!
