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Just live in a community where there are high percentages of arranged marriages and you'll see this. I grew up seeing it within plenty of South East Asian communities around me. As a child I had often found it ironic how long these couples would stay together but now I understand it's a business transaction and one that works very effectively.
Culturally illiterate people on here confusing arranged marriage with forced marriage.
So, forced marriages do not fall under the umbrella of arranged marriages? Is that not common language to be found on the news, on various sites, in the literature, etc?
Look at the surveys of female happiness. It's pretty low in America. In fact women are less happy today than they were in the 70's when they more oppressed.
I worked with an Indian girl who was in an arranged marriage.
The thinking is, her parents loved her and wanted the best for her, and she trusted their judgement. They didn't force her, but she'd said to them "if I haven't met anyone by the time I'm 25, I will let you choose him for me".
I think she'd only met the guy once or twice before the marriage. The "getting to know you" part is part of the excitement of being a newlywed.
Unusual, completely different to us Western types, but she was very very happy.
The sex is normal, for fun and pleasure...in fact I recall her telling me the wedding night was part of the "festivities" for the guests who hung around outside the bedroom waiting for the consummation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by asubram3
Guess I will be the devil's advocate here. I am actually from India, and completing my graduate degree in the US. The concept of Indian families 'forcing' arranged marriages on youngsters who don't like it is somewhat outdated, at least in urban parts of India. What really occurs is families/parents look out for people who could be 'good matches' in terms of attitude and outlook to life, jobs, etc. for their children. Then the prospective grooms and brides are introduced and meet at least a few times to discuss if they think they are suited for each other. If so, the families then take over and conduct the whole wedding process. This works to the advantage of everyone.
Let me tell you my own case. I am rather shy/introverted, and being an Indian, find it hard to meet anyone 'romantically' in the way Americans do it, in the US. At around the time I felt like getting married, I let my parents know that, and they identified a couple of girls whom I might like. Well, I didn't like one of them and did like the other. But then she didn't like me, so I am still unmarried. No one forced me or a girl to marry if we both weren't in favor of it.
Exactly. It's basically just more secure matchmaking.
Has it occurred to you that you could be wrong and don't really know what you are talking about? Do you know that most marriages that take place after a Mormon completes his missionary assignment is arranged? They are, and have been for years. Do they fail? No, usually they last for the life of the couple. They make it work, and other people could make their marriages work also, if they just would. But divorce is easy and when a person starts talking to divorced friends, they make it seem even easier, so people don't swallow their pride and try a bit harder.
Sounds like I've struck a chord? (I see - yet another locked profile). I believe it. While this isn't a religion thread, that's why the Mormons are "discriminatory" toward singles who are late, or don't make it, to the altar, because they project their beliefs onto others - it's a "scheduled" thing.
Yes, there is some truth to arranged marriages working in some cases. When there are deep cultural roots, I think the parents might actually pick "equals" for their kids when both sets of parents agreed to it. I know that when my parents were growing up in southern Europe, spouses were often "suggested" by parents. Some accepted this, and some did not (think "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"). I know of both scenarios in the history of my extended family.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 08-25-2012 at 11:48 PM..
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At around the time I felt like getting married, I let my parents know that, and they identified a couple of girls whom I might like. Well, I didn't like one of them and did like the other. But then she didn't like me, so I am still unmarried. 
