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I was stating my anecdotal experience for where I live. Which is, since you wanted to know, is Redmond Washington (a suburb of Seattle) and the company is Microsoft. So the Indian population here is largely from urban, highly educated backgrounds, not rural.
I am not lying about what the cop told me, why would I? I agree it is simply anecdotal experience for him on this town, not all of America or the world.
It is clear you are biased towards advocating that your own culture and values produce the happiest humans, and in a way us Westerners do the same, everybody wants to believe their way is the right way. But what I am saying is that I don't think those "older ways" like arranged marriages work here in the "new world".
I have got a lot of friends who live in Redmond, Washington. I would love to be shown statistics of what you stated earlier because without them, it's your word against mine. I never advocated or stated that arranged marriages produce the happiest couples in the world, if that were the case I would have done the same marriage by now. Go back and read where I mentioned that I myself don't prefer getting into an arranged marriage which is why I am still single at the age of 29.
However, I do know plenty of people that have got into arranged marriages and are very happy in their marriages even after 4-5 years. So where's the question of those "older ways" not working in the "new world". Or do you think you can go around imposing what you consider works in the "new world" to everyone?
He's a stand up artist. He's supposed to make popular stereotypes sound funny. That however doesn't mean that an Indian man has to depend on his mom to tell him whom to marry, suggesting something isn't the same thing as forcing someone to do something. By the same logic, I should have been married by now since I am 29 and most Indian men are married by that age. However, there's no such force on me by my family or society, even more impressive considering that my mom has only studied upto 12th and had always been a housewife. Inspite of that, my parents left the choice of my partner upto me although they did suggest a few options that didn't work out for me for whatever reason. So it's not like all the Indian moms are dying to find their son a partner of their choice while the man has got no say on it.
However, you being American I am sure this message would be lost on you. I also find it rather dumb and idiotic that you take the words of a stand up artist as conclusive proof against an entire culture, are you seriously that dumb in real life?
P.S. Russell Peters is Canadian.
What's interesting to hear is a FEMALE Indian's viewpoint on this topic. Especially from the more highly educated financially independent ones here in the US. Ohhh the many complaints of I have heard from my coworkers!
You may not feel much pressure as a male from members of your family or culture, maybe they would even be cool with you dating a few non-Indians before finally "settling down". But if you were a girl? No way! Especially a unwed 29 year old girl?
Neither am I suggesting that people believe in things aren't mentioned by stand up artists. You are free to believe in the words of a stand up artist as the holy gospel and stereotype the whole culture as such, and it just shows your cultural insensitivity and foolishness, however you are perfectly reasonable in choosing to be thus. I have no issues with that and never had any to begin with.
It's not about standup artists. What rang true for me is what I bolded and it reminded me of another thread I was just engaged in where this wing-nut guy felt that WE all should have our mates chosen for us. Like that comedian I wouldn't want my parents choosing my clothes, why in the world would I let them choose a mate? I would not. And neither would that guy, but perhaps you and others would. So what? I did not read that sentence of his to be an insensitive cultural charge. And be clear buddy, you have plenty of issues.
What's interesting to hear is a FEMALE Indian's viewpoint on this topic. Especially from the more highly educated financially independent ones here in the US. Ohhh the many complaints of I have heard from my coworkers!
You may not feel much pressure as a male from members of your family or culture, maybe they would even be cool with you dating a few non-Indians before finally "settling down". But if you were a girl? No way! Especially a unwed 29 year old girl?
I would love to introduce you to my 31 year old single female cousin who lives in Bangalore . Also there are plenty of 29 year old unwed Indian single females I know myself personally, I guess just because you haven't met many personally you think they don't exist. You display the classic arrogance and ignorance I suspected earlier going by your earlier post.
And what makes you think my family would love to see me dating a lot of non-Indian females before settling down with an Indian one. 3 women have married internationally in my family, one married a Chinese guy from Hongkong, 2 of them married White American men. One guy married a British girl and lives with her in UK now. So people in my family have had quite an international exposure, my parents don't offer me suggestions regarding whom I have to date.
Last edited by letmereiterate; 08-26-2012 at 11:08 AM..
I would love to introduce you to my 31 year old single female cousin who lives in Bangalore
And what makes you think my family would love to see me dating a lot of non-Indian females before settling down with an Indian one. 3 women have married internationally in my family, one married a Chinese guy from Hongkong, 2 of them married White American men. One guy married a British girl and lives with her in UK now. So people in my family have had quite an international exposure, my parents don't offer me suggestions regarding whom I have to date.
Well I guess good for you and your family, they sound alright to me!
I'm just saying, it is my estimation, from my experiences and contacts with many people over the years from India that you and your family are not the norm or very common.
And I'm not saying arranged marriages will NEVER work here in the West, but that by and large they are not or will not be a viable solution for people to get married under in this country and culture.
Well I guess good for you and your family, they sound alright to me!
I'm just saying, it is my estimation, from my experiences and contacts with many people over the years from India that you and your family are not the norm or very common.
And I'm not saying arranged marriages will NEVER work here in the West, but that by and large they are not or will not be a viable solution for people to get married under in this country and culture.
Different people have different perspectives, the same goes with their families too. Just because you haven't met many of them out here in the West doesn't mean they are uncommon or aren't the norm.
Also, what you said is true about those arranged marriages where the partners have had no choice, which isn't how the modern arranged marriage system works. I don't see any reason why a marriage where partners have willingly chosen their partner wouldn't work, they have as much chance of a success as any other marriage in the West.
Are you serious? That is gross and quite humiliating
Very common in Hindu society. I worked with a Hindu Indian, he lived in states his whole life but his family hung on to their religion & traditions. He had an arranged marriage, had a choice of 3 women. He is very happy & 3 kids later. We had many discussions about choosing a wife vs just dating. They are allowed in most circles to date. If they fall in love then both families must be consulted to consider marriage. He opted for arranged marriage & never regretted it. All men in his family, including his brother chose arranged marriage. Very very close family. The wedding is a week long party that does include consummation. In older tradition I believe it was the mother of the bride that used to be in the room at the time.
If they fall in love then both families must be consulted to consider marriage. He opted for arranged marriage & never regretted it. All men in his family, including his brother chose arranged marriage. Very very close family. The wedding is a week long party that does include consummation. In older tradition I believe it was the mother of the bride that used to be in the room at the time.
Not quite arranged, but one of my childhood friends was Cuban. His parents met on a bus in Havana. The mother "picked up" the father. He was no wimp, but she was definitely more of a peacock. They had to be chaperoned while dating. It's funny, because when they would argue, my friend told me his father would say "Damn that day I got on that bus."
As for the latter, that is REALLY gross. But then, if people were carving weird shyt in caves while wearing loincloths, nothing would surprise me.
Sounds like I've struck a chord? (I see - yet another locked profile). I believe it. While this isn't a religion thread, that's why the Mormons are "discriminatory" toward singles who are late, or don't make it, to the altar, because they project their beliefs onto others - it's a "scheduled" thing.
Yes, there is some truth to arranged marriages working in some cases. When there are deep cultural roots, I think the parents might actually pick "equals" for their kids when both sets of parents agreed to it. I know that when my parents were growing up in southern Europe, spouses were often "suggested" by parents. Some accepted this, and some did not (think "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"). I know of both scenarios in the history of my extended family.
Just so you know it, I'm not a Mormon and have nothing to do with the Mormon church. While I would never agree with their religious teachings, the fact they are family oriented is a good thing. I suspect many of the women married to Mormon men are not happy because the man is the absolute head of the household, but the wives accept it and very few file for divorce even if there are other women in their husband's lives. Over the years I've known and had business dealings with many of these men, they take care of their families, but they run the household. The men usually go on a mission for about two years and during that time have no contact with friends. When their mission obligation is up and they return home, they are married within three to six months if they want to maintain their status in the church. They may know their potential mate, but have never dated.
Except in modern arranged marriages (at least in India) what the parents/family really does is give suggestions and introduce you to people whom you are likely to select as your spouse (and conduct the wedding, if there is one). The ultimate decision to marry someone is yours, and yours alone.
Then I suggest this is not the sort of "arranged marriage" the OP was talking about, and which most people are responding to in this thread.
Not a "suggested" marriage with a selection of candidates and lots of options to say no--but a marriage between 2 uninitiated strangers arranged entirely by others and involving a financial transaction (dowry, etc.)
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. Also there are plenty of 29 year old unwed Indian single females I know myself personally, I guess just because you haven't met many personally you think they don't exist. You display the classic arrogance and ignorance I suspected earlier going by your earlier post. 
Arranged marriages?
