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The guests decorated the bedroom, they lead the couple to it, then hang around until the job is done.
It's not humiliating for their culture, it is part of the fun.
Different strokes.
The guests decorated the bedroom - True!
they lead the couple to it - It may happen
then hang around until the job is done. - Really? I think someone was joking to you. Now eavesdropping is another thing but from several weddings I have attended (as an Indian , this is not true.
I would never trust someone else's judgment above my own and I have a hard time respecting anyone who does. Just because my parents want what's best for me doesn't mean they know what's best for me. I do. That's called being an adult.
I'm of Indian descent. born and raised in UK - I'm single, I never went down the arranged marriage route.
I have 4 brothers - 2 had arranged marriages, 2 married their long term gfs.
In the simplest terms, your parents try to introduce you to somebody who thinks that will be a good match for you. They look at the education level, family background etc. If she matched what they're looking for, then you and her meet for a "date". You discuss your plans for life etc. it's a given that if things go well you will marry. If you both like each other, you carry on meeting...if you don't like each other, you move onto somebody else! You usually date for a few months before you decide to marry.
This isn't too dissimilar to a guy being introduced to girl by their friends because they think they'd be a good match, except that purpose of the introduction is not for marriage.
Nobody is forced into anything, the women are not oppressed. They're actually usually highly educated.
A lot of Indian people ask their parents for an arranged marriage because they're not meeting people in their day to day life and want somebody to help out.
Arranged marriages still exist in other cultures to..I once went on date with a Chinese-American lady whose brother had an arranged marriage.
A Korean-American friend of mine was married to a Korean-American girl a few years ago and divorced her (she was a bit crazy in his words). His parents are based in Korea, and he's in LA. They found another girl in Korea for him..they emailed each other for a few moths, then she came to stay with him in LA to see how he would be in person. They've been married a few years now and his wife just had a baby girl. He told me he would only ever marry a Korean...he was dating a Chinese girl for a while and he dumped her because his mother wasn't happy with it.
as long as it's not "forced" marriage, i don't see any problem. European and Americans used to have alot of arranged marriaged too. Just because our culture changed, it doesn't mean we have to force other countries to change with us.
That sure is not how it works with the Mormons I have known, I haven't known thousands, but I'm not a Mormon either as you are. My son's best friend just told him he was expected to get married within three months, after returning from his mission. He was not allowed to date in high school, his father is not a Mormon, but his mother is. I have no reason to lie about this, and I have no reason to make the church 'look good' to others.
It's not a matter of you "lying" or me trying to make the Church "look good." It's a matter of accuracy in presenting the facts. You may have known a young LDS man who was not allowed to date in high school and who was expected to get married within three months after returning from his mission. As far as I know, this young man's Mormon mother may have picked the girl he was to marry and he may not have been allowed to date her before getting married. If that's the case, then you have stumbled upon 1 exception in perhaps 500,000 instances. On the other hand, there are fanatics in virtually every religion I know of.
Mormons generally do not date until the age of 16, but most kids turn 16 sometime during their sophomore year in high school. After this time, dating is not only accepted but encouraged. Prior to age 16, they may attend a wide variety of church- or school-sponsored social functions where they get to know members of the opposite sex before actually dating. Mormons believe strongly in reserving sexual intimacy for marriage. Consequently, most Mormons here in the U.S. marry younger than the average non-Mormon population.
It's not a matter of you "lying" or me trying to make the Church "look good." It's a matter of accuracy in presenting the facts. You may have known a young LDS man who was not allowed to date in high school and who was expected to get married within three months after returning from his mission. As far as I know, this young man's Mormon mother may have picked the girl he was to marry and he may not have been allowed to date her before getting married. If that's the case, then you have stumbled upon 1 exception in perhaps 500,000 instances. On the other hand, there are fanatics in virtually every religion I know of.
Mormons generally do not date until the age of 16, but most kids turn 16 sometime during their sophomore year in high school. After this time, dating is not only accepted but encouraged. Prior to age 16, they may attend a wide variety of church- or school-sponsored social functions where they get to know members of the opposite sex before actually dating. Mormons believe strongly in reserving sexual intimacy for marriage. Consequently, most Mormons here in the U.S. marry younger than the average non-Mormon population.
Regardless, the group has a COLLECTIVE CULTURE (since this is what the thread is about) that marriage is a much more venerated state, and the exclusive channel for sexual intimacy, so PUSHING, maybe not, ARRANGING marriage is very acceptable, from what I've seen. It translates into part of a collective culture, operating today, in 2012, in the Western world.
Regardless, the group has a COLLECTIVE CULTURE (since this is what the thread is about) that marriage is a much more venerated state, and the exclusive channel for sexual intimacy, so PUSHING, maybe not, ARRANGING marriage is very acceptable, from what I've seen.
Whatever. I have acknowledged that Mormons marry younger than most people in the U.S. I have also acknowledged that we don't believe in sexual intimacy outside of marriage. That's something I'm not going to apologize for. I've said everything else that needs to be said on the topic. You go right ahead and have the last word, robert. You won't be happy till you do.
Whatever. I have acknowledged that Mormons marry younger than most people in the U.S. I have also acknowledged that we don't believe in sexual intimacy outside of marriage. That's something I'm not going to apologize for. I've said everything else that needs to be said on the topic. You go right ahead and have the last word, robert. You won't be happy till you do.
Great. I agree with your observation. I even understand the logic. However, an Indian person who came to the US won't superimpose their values upon others they interact with on the topic of marriage, acknowledging that their cultural norms are different. Therefore, a group/culture/religion INSIDE the United States similarly should not project these values onto others. I'm not saying that ALL do, but MANY do.
I do NOT think arranged marriages are that cool, at least for me. I have had my parents go down the "suggest" route with me, and they got an earful. I think that, in a modern FIRST WORLD country, everyone should marry who they want and if, culture/language/religion/education/ethnicity are important criteria in the selection process, then they know where they should be channeling their quest for a spouse.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 08-27-2012 at 06:57 PM..
Reason: grammar
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, this is not true.
