Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 08-26-2012, 01:20 PM
 
1,084 posts, read 1,842,736 times
Reputation: 824

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
If there were significant differences, she would have said so in her opening post. Instead everything she said about him is positive... her only complaint is his blue collar job and that her friends and family think she can do better. THAT is her biggest problem, now that I think about it. Her man doesn't pass her friends sniff test.
If her friends AND family are saying something, then she doesn't have to outline in her post that there are significant differences, it's proof positive by the fact that the people close to her don't think he is good enough. There is something to that. If it was just her family being snobs, that is one thing, but family and friends? The OP is going to have to give a bit more info about this guy--as in what specific complaints her family and friends have about him being blue collar.

 
Old 08-26-2012, 01:23 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,652,769 times
Reputation: 10385
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunkisses87 View Post
If her friends AND family are saying something, then she doesn't have to outline in her post that there are significant differences, it's proof positive by the fact that the people close to her don't think he is good enough. There is something to that. If it was just her family being snobs, that is one thing, but family and friends? The OP is going to have to give a bit more info about this guy--as in what specific complaints her family and friends have about him being blue collar.
No it isn't. It isn't proof at all. We are just going to have to see whether the OP cares to elaborate.
 
Old 08-26-2012, 01:34 PM
 
1,084 posts, read 1,842,736 times
Reputation: 824
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
No it isn't. It isn't proof at all. We are just going to have to see whether the OP cares to elaborate.
You don't find it strange that both her friends AND family feel like this guy is not good enough? It may not be proof, however it does say something. The OP will have to clarify.
 
Old 08-26-2012, 04:14 PM
 
837 posts, read 1,285,825 times
Reputation: 714
Of course social class matters. Only delusional people think otherwise.
 
Old 08-26-2012, 07:55 PM
 
179 posts, read 377,627 times
Reputation: 132
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
My white collar professional friend (masters degree, $150k salary) is about to marry a guy who makes $40k, has no degree...

I honestly didn't think it was going to work at all. But this manly man (firefighter) treats her like a freakin' queen, keeps her (soon to be their) home nice, cooks and cleans, brings her food when she's at work, treats her son like his own, and encourages her in her athletic endeavors (which they participate in together).

He's handsome, rugged, and the definition of a 'real man' in my eyes.

.
this is the type of person he is..i can say that with 100% good faith
 
Old 08-26-2012, 08:26 PM
 
1,084 posts, read 1,842,736 times
Reputation: 824
OP what does your bf do for a living? Is he educated like you? Does he make much less? Very different from you in terms of values and life experiences? I'm trying to understand why your friends and family would not like a man who treats you like a queen and is financially stable(even if it's in a different field)?
 
Old 08-26-2012, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Atlantis
3,016 posts, read 3,901,018 times
Reputation: 8867
The people that are responding and suggesting that there must be something wrong with this guy are in fact the kind of people that feel strongly that class does matter - but are not able to just come out and say it so they are trying to imply that something. . . anything MUST be wrong with this guy and that she should not be with him to avoid having to answer or state their postion on whether or not class matters.

Yeah, class matters. It has since the dawn of time and always will. However, if the people surrounding this woman (her friends and family) can find a reason other than class in which to base their opinion on not wanting her with him - then they get the same end result which will involve her leaving him without having to pressure her based on "class" alone. It's a win-win for those people that are sitting on the sidelines that are trying to control this woman's life.
 
Old 08-26-2012, 08:49 PM
 
1,084 posts, read 1,842,736 times
Reputation: 824
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skydive Outlaw View Post
The people that are responding and suggesting that there must be something wrong with this guy are in fact the kind of people that feel strongly that class does matter - but are not able to just come out and say it so they are trying to imply that something. . . anything MUST be wrong with this guy and that she should not be with him to avoid having to answer or state their postion on whether or not class matters.

Yeah, class matters. It has since the dawn of time and always will. However, if the people surrounding this woman (her friends and family) can find a reason other than class in which to base their opinion on not wanting her with him - then they get the same end result which will involve her leaving him without having to pressure her based on "class" alone. It's a win-win for those people that are sitting on the sidelines that are trying to control this woman's life.
I already said that class matters, early in the thread. How much it will matter largely depends on the couple. However from personal experience when a person has BOTH their friends and family frowning on a relationship, there is usually something to it. Now in the OP's case she could be surrounded by a bunch of snobs, and if that is the case, then obviously ignoring them is for the best. But if they have complaints about this man that are valid and are a result of his background or the differences between her and this man that could contribute to problems in the future, then it's worth it for her to at least consider these complaints or concerns.

As I said, I have a friend who married a carpenter. Her parents warned her when she first started dating this man, that his career and lack of income would be an issue later on. She didn't listen, got married, had a child with him, and now the very things her parents warned her about are the things that she and him fight about all the time. On the other hand, one of my very good friends has a mom that is a librarian and a father that has his own pipelining business. The father majored in journalism and earned a 4 year degree but was more blue collar and chose that route, but he is very well-spoken and educated he also makes a lot of money as a business owner. They have been married for almost 30 years and it's very successful. In one case it worked, in the other it didn't.
 
Old 08-26-2012, 09:25 PM
 
3,670 posts, read 7,149,375 times
Reputation: 4269
of course it is going to affect the relationship when two people have very different upbringings and families. that doesn't mean it can't work out, but i'm sure it can cause problems.
 
Old 08-26-2012, 09:28 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,914,193 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunkisses87 View Post
I already said that class matters, early in the thread. How much it will matter largely depends on the couple. However from personal experience when a person has BOTH their friends and family frowning on a relationship, there is usually something to it. Now in the OP's case she could be surrounded by a bunch of snobs, and if that is the case, then obviously ignoring them is for the best. But if they have complaints about this man that are valid and are a result of his background or the differences between her and this man that could contribute to problems in the future, then it's worth it for her to at least consider these complaints or concerns.

As I said, I have a friend who married a carpenter. Her parents warned her when she first started dating this man, that his career and lack of income would be an issue later on. She didn't listen, got married, had a child with him, and now the very things her parents warned her about are the things that she and him fight about all the time. On the other hand, one of my very good friends has a mom that is a librarian and a father that has his own pipelining business. The father majored in journalism and earned a 4 year degree but was more blue collar and chose that route, but he is very well-spoken and educated he also makes a lot of money as a business owner. They have been married for almost 30 years and it's very successful. In one case it worked, in the other it didn't.
The question then shouldn't be whether he's blue collar or not, but whether he's an opportunist waiting to take her to the cleaner's, or if he's the type to let it cause problems between them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:36 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top