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Sounds like the kids are grown up so I will assume you guys are 50ish.... You want to enter into a new 30 year obligation at age 50? Aren't you nearing retirement?
Most of the time, they are just equity swaps, maybe with some extra coin thrown in, so I don't see this as the major problem here ...
Whether you live in the city or the burbs shouldn't become a huge issue in a 12 year old marriage, unless there are other surrounding issues. I suspect this couple has more between them than whether to keep or sell a townhouse.
That's exactly what I was thinking. What's the REAL issue?
Why be in a city when you're married? Are you looking for a more populated area to meet men? That's not right and you should stay in place and feel happy that you have a man and a nice house. I don't think you are addressing the real issue, that your husband isn't satisfying you and that you want to be in a city to meet men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhenomenalAJ
Only time I enjoy public transportation is so I can get drunk at a club and not drive, most other times its a pain people prefer to avoid if they can afford to. How often does a person need to go to restaurants and theaters? People don't move just for that, they take an occasional trip to the city to enjoy that. I figure if I moved to a farther out suburb, my life would be exactly the same except it'd be harder to meet girls and I'd have more space. It's not really logical for an older married person to move to a city unless they're trolling for sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24
Whether you live in the city or the burbs shouldn't become a huge issue in a 12 year old marriage, unless there are other surrounding issues. I suspect this couple has more between them than whether to keep or sell a townhouse.
Well I'm not even married so I'm taking warning from this b/c I would be very unhappy in this situation also.
I dunno where you live, but here in Jersey we have plenty of areas that are a bit like both.
However, if he likes that perfect manicured look for blocks and blocks, well, then no there isn't in an urban area. But I'd say he's just wrong, those places look boring. Who the hell really likes that? He sounds like a boring doosh
Also you could get your own place in the city, that was a good idea someone threw there
Only time I enjoy public transportation is so I can get drunk at a club and not drive, most other times its a pain people prefer to avoid if they can afford to. How often does a person need to go to restaurants and theaters? People don't move just for that, they take an occasional trip to the city to enjoy that. I figure if I moved to a farther out suburb, my life would be exactly the same except it'd be harder to meet girls and I'd have more space. It's not really logical for an older married person to move to a city unless they're trolling for sex.
I don't even know what to say to this, it's so ridiculous. Some people thrive on the fast pace, ethnic diversity and huge variety of activities that exist in a city. Why must you make it all about trolling for sex? Such an immature approach to life. Jeez.
Are you kidding? I can't imagine how many folds of awesome it would be if I could step outside of work and get a banh mi or Chinese Indian food out of a food truck ANY day, and if I NEVER had to drive.
Then again, I prefer the look/feel of not-so-crowded small-town Jersey. NYC is awesome convenience- and speed- and entertainment- wise (entertainment including food), but something seems just not right about endless continuous paving and buildings. I'm going for eventually not driving and just walking around in small-town/city-center Jersey. Not at that point in my life yet, too busy, but I'll get there.
And for the record, I always prefer public transportation, I HATE driving. I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT.
Only time I enjoy public transportation is so I can get drunk at a club and not drive, most other times its a pain people prefer to avoid if they can afford to. How often does a person need to go to restaurants and theaters? People don't move just for that, they take an occasional trip to the city to enjoy that. I figure if I moved to a farther out suburb, my life would be exactly the same except it'd be harder to meet girls and I'd have more space. It's not really logical for an older married person to move to a city unless they're trolling for sex.
This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read. Wanting to be homebuddy is, in itself, fine, but why do you feel the need to extrapolate your choice out to others? I had a rough day yesterday and dinner at a nice restaurant walking distance from my house made me feel exponentially better.
To the OP, this is a serious issue and I've personally seen it take down a marriage. What concerns me is that you're miserable, it appears he knows you're miserable, and he doesn't care enough to do anything about it.
Because you've gotten into a pattern on this you're not even listening to each other any more. There has to be a compromise if both of you are willing, and I highly recommend seeking out a couple's counselor who can facilitate that process.
I think it's a shame he won't compromise. He has had his way for 12 years. The least he could do is make an effort to compromise.
Might want to see if he would hang out in closer to the city with you every other weekend for starters. Curb-side cafes, theater, etc.
Wish you the best on this.
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