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Because i've never had a girlfriend before in my entire life, i'm 24 years old, obviously still a virgin, I'm not that outgoing either, don't have many close friends, and that hurts my chances a lot of meeting girls, because it seems the most common way people meet their significant other, boyfriend/girlfriend is through people networking, as in through mutual friends, friends of friends, etc.
Also, obviously High-Functioning Autism, Asperger Syndrome, obviously that makes a person socially-awkward, socially-inept by nature, genetics cause that, and not having good social-skills, not having good-conversation skills, being socially-awkward, socially-inept, hurts a guys chances of landing a relationship way more than a socially-awkward, socially-inept girl's chances of landing a relationship, because it is still dominantly expected of the guy to make the first move, do the approaching, starting conversations and ask the girl out, overall, initiate the pursuit and date, relationship.
Should a guy like this just realize he is never going to improve socially? his social-skills, conversation-skills will forever remain the same? that he is bound to be alone forevery literally?
I've asked girls out before, have approached many, hit on them, but either they were taken already or not interested, i've even tried online dating but no luck on online dating sites either, the online dating sites i've used were Plentyoffish and OkCupid, but no luck. I've even been attending Asperger support-groups, meet-ups for like 4 years now, but no luck meeting anybody that i'm attracted to, it is mostly male-dominated.
I'm not sure if this can be overcome, because i'm worried there might be different levels of Asperger Syndrome, High-Functioning Autism, and i'm worried that mine might be too severe for me to overcome, as in literally impossible for me to overcome.
do you think the people who say there is someone out there for everyone, are the people who have been in relationships before? thats what it seems like
Asbergers vs. Autism, you're talking apples and oranges here, IMHO. My son is genuine high functioning autistic. (Before it became fashionable.) I can't see how he could ever have a marriage or family. He needs someone to look after him. He couldn't possibly raise children or take on responsibility for someone else. He doesn't like physical contact. Asbergers? I wouldn't give up. You might be strange to some people, but there's all kinds of strange people in the world who get married, date etc. YOu just have to keep looking. Try someone else who's also fighting a handicap.
I've dated two different men that I am sure had Aspergers. Both were smart, kind, intelligent, and we had interests in common.
One was deathly uncomfortable with physical affection.
The other could handle basic social interaction, but for him it was all scripted. when it came to real emotional connection, he had none. His interactions were all based on his intellectual understanding of people. Therefore, there was no real empathy. It was creepy.
With the first, I think that with specific social skills training he could have improved to the point where he could have a functional relationship. The second could not see where he was going off the rails. He might have needed psychotherapy. He may have even been a sociopath instead of an Aspie.
I don't know where an adult with aspergers is supposed to get social skills training...maybe that is a thing of the future.
Read the Five Languages of Love....and you will see what I mean. Regardless of intellect or hobbies or interests, what we are truly looking for is someone who speaks and understands the same Love Languages. It all comes down to that.
Asbergers vs. Autism, you're talking apples and oranges here, IMHO. My son is genuine high functioning autistic. (Before it became fashionable.) I can't see how he could ever have a marriage or family. He needs someone to look after him. He couldn't possibly raise children or take on responsibility for someone else. He doesn't like physical contact. Asbergers? I wouldn't give up. You might be strange to some people, but there's all kinds of strange people in the world who get married, date etc. YOu just have to keep looking. Try someone else who's also fighting a handicap.
they are apples and oranges on some levels yes. but most A.S. people don't like physical contact either. IMO, having A.S. goes beyond 'strange' in the eyes of other people. I do agree if he is going to do anything he should try another A.S. person or whatever.
they are apples and oranges on some levels yes. but most A.S. people don't like physical contact either. IMO, having A.S. goes beyond 'strange' in the eyes of other people. I do agree if he is going to do anything he should try another A.S. person or whatever.
well there aren't that many aspie women out there, also, i can drive a car fine, successfully, so it's not like i'm physically disabled
i've even tried online dating but no luck on online dating sites either, the online dating sites i've used were Plentyoffish and OkCupid, but no luck. I've even been attending Asperger support-groups, meet-ups for like 4 years now, but no luck meeting anybody that i'm attracted to, it is mostly male-dominated.
Have you tried WrongPlanet.net (an ASD site w/active discussion forums) ?
While it's not a "dating-site" per se, there are sections dedicated to relationships & plenty of people (most of whom have ASD) posting there (I don't know the male-to-female membership ratio, though). Just like anywhere, there's wide variety of people: some will be unkind, but some will be understanding. Good luck.
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