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yeah, it's just one-thing i've heard of, i forgot where i heard it from, is that when a guy is trying to break the ice, start a conversation, overall, talk to a girl, don't make it sound like an interview
What you really need is some kind of socially pushy girl, even one who is on the bossy side.
I know a guy who had no friends until he was 15, really preferred his alone time, could sit in his room for hours working on his inventions or taking things apart to see how they worked. He never liked crowds, parties or people he didn't know but by the time he was 15, he began making a few friends.
He looked like he was too socially awkward to ever have a girlfriend, both shy and clumsy in social situations but he managed to meet the right girl --- but she takes the lead and she's a non-stop yakker so he'd have trouble getting a word in edgewise even if he wanted to.
unfortuneately, according to life and society, men have to be responsible for god damn everything, do all of the work in order to get literally anything in life!, it's always our own fault!, i never really understood the logic behind it, why are men expected to take responsibility in life way more than women are? we're expected to be independent all the damn time, we're expected to be on our own all the time
And that's where you're wrong. If you look around, you'll see those couples where the woman is the social butterfly - and the man is more or less dragged around and will quietly sit there and he will never have to make the social plans, all he will have to do is go along for the ride.
Sometimes it's a matter of finding your opposite. Find the one who wants to do all the social planning, all the talking and she only needs a guy who will follow along. Or rather let her find you because that's probably how it's going to end up. Plenty of social women don't have a reliable escort and need one, they know which parties and social events they want to go to -- they just need someone they can tell to go with them. I think if you put those vibes out instead of trying to take the lead and messing up, you'll do better.
yeah getting rejected is one-thing, but it's more how she rejects you, getting labeled creepy, weirdo, stalkerish in a way hurts my feelings because i don't want to be seen/viewed as a threat towards a girl
It destroyed my confidence. I gave up on the chances of having a girlfriend for a long time. I tried to go back last year and give it a try. I still have issues today.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
I am having a really hard time understanding the whole asperger/autism thing.
Think of it as Nerd Syndrome, nerdishness carried to an extreme.
Autism means you're more into yourself than into other people, you find social interactions to be stressful or not worth the effort. There are several kinds of autists, from retarded kids who sit in a corner and rock themselves for hours on end, to Aspergers, to some adult schizoids or schizophrenics.
Think of it as Nerd Syndrome, nerdishness carried to an extreme.
Autism means you're more into yourself than into other people, you find social interactions to be stressful or not worth the effort. There are several kinds of autists, from retarded kids who sit in a corner and rock themselves for hours on end, to Aspergers, to some adult schizoids or schizophrenics.
Schizoid is a personality disorder..somewhat similar to Aspergers, but without the childhood stuff apparently and a few other differences.
Autism is a spectrum...I have a few cousins who are autistic, they need constant care, will never be able to support themselves, and it's a pretty stressful environment for my aunt. They'll do things (as adults) like stripping off all their clothes, take a BM on their parents bed & smear it all over the walls..they really need to be placed somewhere but my aunt refuses.
Aspergers is the lighter end of the Autism spectrum. It's more social/emotional...when I went on my date, we met at a mall, then walked to an inside restaurant..I didn't realize I was walking about 10 paces ahead of her the whole time...then when we got to the restaurant, the sound of everybody chewing drove me nuts, and apparently I kept commenting on it. Then she wanted a goodbye hug which I almost didn't realize and nearly walked away from.
I made a list on here of all the "jerkish" things I've done in my previous relationship, I made something like that for the marriage counselor, which led to Aspergers thing.
BTW OP - it does temper out a bit as you age. I've had relationships - you can too.
And lol at some posters saying a psyhcologist will tell some patients an Aspie will never get married.
You are listening to too much talk radio, or some other ignorant source.
yeah getting rejected is one-thing, but it's more how she rejects you, getting labeled creepy, weirdo, stalkerish in a way hurts my feelings because i don't want to be seen/viewed as a threat towards a girl
Do you know specifically what you did to make her feel that way?
Do you know specifically what you did to make her feel that way?
He was talking about me. Basically, me and another woman met a few years ago, became fast friends, we would hang out all the time. I eventually developed a crush for her. However, time passed and she started to become more distant towards me. I never knew why until I asked her. She told me I was too "clingy" and "high strung". Maybe I'm a bit uptight compared to most people, but I never expected to labeled as "clingy".
Do you know specifically what you did to make her feel that way?
kept approaching, calling or texting her, thats another thing girls do, girls do not make it visually clear to the guy that they are not interested, when they are rejecting, denying his advances, they always have to use non-verbal, subtle hints
also, i've been trying to register for WrongPlanet.Net, but that security code thing during registration is preventing me, has anybody ever encountered that problem before? also, what are the best online dating sites for those with Asperger Syndrome/Autism? the sites that have the most users, members?
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