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Maybe you don't have Aspergers but instead have Negative Thinking.
Why not make some female friends and learn what women like and don't like. If you're a good pal, they won't see you as a creep or a threat. Then you learn from them. Not always directly but listen to what they talk about, what they say about other guys.
You have to accept that socially you're behind -- other kids go through what are called the teenage years which was their transition from child to adult. Aspergers and other socially awkward tend to never be teenagers. As teens, they may actually fit in more with adults and more with children because they don't "get it", as far as the silly social stuff that the other teenagers are into.
So now you have to learn the social cues. Learn how never to come across as creepy or stalkerish. Improve your humor and widen your interests -- you have to accept that other people really don't want to hear everything there is to know about tomato plants like you thought they did when you were 16. Your female friends can help you with clothing and hair styles.
Since you don't know the social cues so well, just don't try too hard. Let the others who know more take the lead. Be content to hang with mixed groups for a while - learn to dance so that your women pals have someone to dance with. Don't try to compete with the suave smooth types -- that's not you. You have to take a whole different approach.
well my Psychologist says I have it, well good chance
There you are, asking for specifics again. You have to stop doing that. There are no formulas. Find your strengths, relax into your true self, and learn to love and respect yourself and others. Stop focusing on life as a problem to be solved.
There you are, asking for specifics again. You have to stop doing that. There are no formulas. Find your strengths, relax into your true self, and learn to love and respect yourself and others. Stop focusing on life as a problem to be solved.
do you think the people who say there is someone out there for everyone, are the people who have been in relationships before? thats what it seems like
[quote=WantToHaveALife;25818100]Because i've never had a girlfriend before in my entire life, i'm 24 years old, obviously still a virgin, I'm not that outgoing either, don't have many close friends, and that hurts my chances a lot of meeting girls, because it seems the most common way people meet their significant other, boyfriend/girlfriend is through people networking, as in through mutual friends, friends of friends, etc.
Also, obviously High-Functioning Autism, Asperger Syndrome, obviously that makes a person socially-awkward, socially-inept by nature, genetics cause that, and not having good social-skills, not having good-conversation skills, being socially-awkward, socially-inept, hurts a guys chances of landing a relationship way more than a socially-awkward, socially-inept girl's chances of landing a relationship, because it is still dominantly expected of the guy to make the first move, do the approaching, starting conversations and ask the girl out, overall, initiate the pursuit and date, relationship.
Should a guy like this just realize he is never going to improve socially? his social-skills, conversation-skills will forever remain the same? that he is bound to be alone forevery literally?
I've asked girls out before, have approached many, hit on them, but either they were taken already or not interested, i've even tried online dating but no luck on online dating sites either, the online dating sites i've used were Plentyoffish and OkCupid, but no luck. I've even been attending Asperger support-groups, meet-ups for like 4 years now, but no luck meeting anybody that i'm attracted to, it is mostly male-dominated.
I'm not sure if this can be overcome, because i'm worried there might be different levels of Asperger Syndrome, High-Functioning Autism, and i'm worried that mine might be too severe for me to overcome, as in literally impossible for me to overcome.
So should I just throw in the towel already?[/quote]
There were some great tips for making improvements in your social skills and conversation skills. Try some of them. Learning to dance was one of my favorites.
And, NO do not throw in the towel.
You never know when love may strike.
I had a second cousin who may or may not have had autism (but he was pretty "quirky') and very rarely dated his entire life. When he was 50 years old he fell head over heels in love with a wonderful woman and they were very happily married for the next 25 years (until death parted them).
I'm not saying that you will have to wait until you are 50 to find love but my example was to show you never know when you will find the love of your life and never give up.
Because i've never had a girlfriend before in my entire life, i'm 24 years old, obviously still a virgin, I'm not that outgoing either, don't have many close friends, and that hurts my chances a lot of meeting girls, because it seems the most common way people meet their significant other, boyfriend/girlfriend is through people networking, as in through mutual friends, friends of friends, etc.
Also, obviously High-Functioning Autism, Asperger Syndrome, obviously that makes a person socially-awkward, socially-inept by nature, genetics cause that, and not having good social-skills, not having good-conversation skills, being socially-awkward, socially-inept, hurts a guys chances of landing a relationship way more than a socially-awkward, socially-inept girl's chances of landing a relationship, because it is still dominantly expected of the guy to make the first move, do the approaching, starting conversations and ask the girl out, overall, initiate the pursuit and date, relationship.
Should a guy like this just realize he is never going to improve socially? his social-skills, conversation-skills will forever remain the same? that he is bound to be alone forevery literally?
I've asked girls out before, have approached many, hit on them, but either they were taken already or not interested, i've even tried online dating but no luck on online dating sites either, the online dating sites i've used were Plentyoffish and OkCupid, but no luck. I've even been attending Asperger support-groups, meet-ups for like 4 years now, but no luck meeting anybody that i'm attracted to, it is mostly male-dominated.
I'm not sure if this can be overcome, because i'm worried there might be different levels of Asperger Syndrome, High-Functioning Autism, and i'm worried that mine might be too severe for me to overcome, as in literally impossible for me to overcome.
So should I just throw in the towel already?[/quote]
There were some great tips for making improvements in your social skills and conversation skills. Try some of them. Learning to dance was one of my favorites.
And, NO do not throw in the towel.
You never know when love may strike.
I had a second cousin who may or may not have had autism (but he was pretty "quirky') and very rarely dated his entire life. When he was 50 years old he fell head over heels in love with a wonderful woman and they were very happily married for the next 25 years (until death parted them).
I'm not saying that you will have to wait until you are 50 to find love but my example was to show you never know when you will find the love of your life and never give up.
and people in other threats were thinking that i do not truly have Asperger's, Autism, but in reality I do, so it's not a matter of lacking balls to approach and talk to girls, ask them out, IT'S MORE OF A MATTER OF SIMPLY, BASICALLY NOT KNOWING HOW!!!!!
and people in other threats were thinking that i do not truly have Asperger's, Autism, but in reality I do, so it's not a matter of lacking balls to approach and talk to girls, ask them out, IT'S MORE OF A MATTER OF SIMPLY, BASICALLY NOT KNOWING HOW!!!!!
In reality you do? If what you said here is true then it's not a "given" but a "good chance":
Quote:
Originally Posted by WantToHaveALife
well my Psychologist says I have it, well good chance
And, again, stop looking for some magic formula. Continually shouting out that you DON'T KNOW HOW to do something is self-defeating. If everybody "knew how" there wouldn't be any need for forums.
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