If a guy has Asperger Syndrome, High-Functioning Autism, should he just realize he is never going to have a girlfriend? (dating, wife)

[WantToHaveALife]

Because i've never had a girlfriend before in my entire life, i'm 24 years old, obviously still a virgin, I'm not that outgoing either, don't have many close friends, and that hurts my chances a lot of meeting girls, because it seems the most common way people meet their significant other, boyfriend/girlfriend is through people networking, as in through mutual friends, friends of friends, etc.

Also, obviously High-Functioning Autism, Asperger Syndrome, obviously that makes a person socially-awkward, socially-inept by nature, genetics cause that, and not having good social-skills, not having good-conversation skills, being socially-awkward, socially-inept, hurts a guys chances of landing a relationship way more than a socially-awkward, socially-inept girl's chances of landing a relationship, because it is still dominantly expected of the guy to make the first move, do the approaching, starting conversations and ask the girl out, overall, initiate the pursuit and date, relationship.

Should a guy like this just realize he is never going to improve socially? his social-skills, conversation-skills will forever remain the same? that he is bound to be alone forevery literally?

I've asked girls out before, have approached many, hit on them, but either they were taken already or not interested, i've even tried online dating but no luck on online dating sites either, the online dating sites i've used were Plentyoffish and OkCupid, but no luck. I've even been attending Asperger support-groups, meet-ups for like 4 years now, but no luck meeting anybody that i'm attracted to, it is mostly male-dominated.

I'm not sure if this can be overcome, because i'm worried there might be different levels of Asperger Syndrome, High-Functioning Autism, and i'm worried that mine might be too severe for me to overcome, as in literally impossible for me to overcome.

So should I just throw in the towel already?

[Magnolia Bloom]

I have a friend with Aspergers who is brilliant and is married to an incredible women with Aspergers. I will DM you.

"I'm not sure if this can be overcome, because i'm worried there might be different levels of Asperger Syndrome, High-Functioning Autism, and i'm worried that mine might be too severe for me to overcome, as in literally impossible for me to overcome."

We are all at different levels- LOL! Trust me, some of us non-Apergers folk wonder if we will ever meet anyone! It may take longer that someone within the mid-range of intelligence to connect with the right person, but that doesn't mean you should give up.

If you give up, then, yes, you will prolly never find a girlfriend.

[fireandice1000]

I'm not sure how to answer this question. I myself likely have a touch of autism or Aspergers syndrome like you do; mine is enough to where I don't really have the capacity to fall in love or have a relationship with anyone. I draw a blank when this comes up; the best way for me to describe it is like getting an error message on your computer screen when something goofs up. It doesn't bother me personally that I don't have the capacity for a relationship; it's not sad or negative, there's just nothing there for me.

Have you already gone onto Asperger friendly dating sites? (Not sure if they exist.)

[JrzDefector]

Socially speaking, I spent my early 20s in a state that can only be described as semi-feral, so trust me, all is not lost.

What are your interests? And what have you done to work on improving your social skills?

The Aspie groups you've been joining are great, but maybe you need to push that a little further. Make friends through those people and then meet THEIR other friends and make friends with those people. Also, look into other meetup groups that are centered around social skills/public speaking or around interests that you are passionate about.

And maybe check out chicks with ADD/ADHD. We have a lot of the same symptoms or can relate to them.

[ellie]

I have a two friends who would probably be diagnosed with Asbergers if they were tested. Both individuals (one man, one woman) are happily married to non Asbergers people, and have been for over 10 years.

[ellie]

Oh, check this out. 'Best Practices': Learning To Live With Asperger's : NPR

It's about a married couple.

[JordanJP]

Are you self-diagnosing with Asperger's or do you know for sure that's what the problem is?

[Free Beer]

Just make a lot of money and get hookers. Or work on your problems. Don't use a medical condition as a reason you can't get a girlfriend...I know plenty of socially inept nerds who managed to find a wife.

[MonaLisaVito]

Please look up the author John Elder Robison. He has Asperger's and has written some wonderful books about his life, how to cope and many other helpful things. He also tours the country doing seminars. He also has a facebook page.

[WantToHaveALife]

my psychologist since elementary school diagnosed me with Asperger Syndrome, it was either 8th grade or freshman year of high school