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Old 08-28-2012, 07:40 AM
 
9,412 posts, read 12,310,280 times
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If I ever found out my boyfriend referred to my good friends as a "herd", I would dump him for being a rude, immature little idiot. Grow up and deal with the fact we have friends whom we go out with. It makes us feel secure being in a group. Honestly, what the frick is wrong with you guys?
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:03 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,682 posts, read 48,305,519 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crackpot View Post
Story of my life, well thanks to other outside parties. Seems there was a time when a women knew some things about me she would change her mind. It was mostly prevalent at work and post HS so naturally it felt like most of the town laughed at the idea if I showed interest.

Its not like I approach them while in the herd, that's just suicide.
Yeah I'm just intimidated by groups of women in general, I think. In high school they always used to giggle at me, made me insecure.
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:09 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,682 posts, read 48,305,519 times
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Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
If I ever found out my boyfriend referred to my good friends as a "herd", I would dump him for being a rude, immature little idiot. Grow up and deal with the fact we have friends whom we go out with. It makes us feel secure being in a group. Honestly, what the frick is wrong with you guys?
Wow, that's a pretty strong reaction lol.
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:11 AM
 
3,418 posts, read 2,729,342 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
If I ever found out my boyfriend referred to my good friends as a "herd", I would dump him for being a rude, immature little idiot. Grow up and deal with the fact we have friends whom we go out with. It makes us feel secure being in a group. Honestly, what the frick is wrong with you guys?
my god, you're acting as if being called a herd is the same as being called the c-word or b-word. nobody saying there is any wrong with traveling in a group, but its about the difficulties in approaching a woman when she has all her bodyguards around.
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:18 AM
 
3,418 posts, read 2,729,342 times
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I think its just a simple reality us men have to deal with. Its never going to change as long as we are the ones expected to pursue. Its a challenge when its 6 against 1 but not impossible. Many men have died trying, but a few have been able to climb mt. everest. As far as women are concerned, unless you walk into a bar or club with a sign that says "f*ck off!" , you will get approached no matter how much you want to just dress up cute and dance with your friends. Us men are still waiting for the "When to approach women" handbook.
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:23 AM
Status: "Finally in Durham!" (set 9 days ago)
 
Location: Durham, NC
24,913 posts, read 35,569,816 times
Reputation: 35138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
If I ever found out my boyfriend referred to my good friends as a "herd", I would dump him for being a rude, immature little idiot. Grow up and deal with the fact we have friends whom we go out with. It makes us feel secure being in a group. Honestly, what the frick is wrong with you guys?
Really don't want to be mean mainly because I have a positive opinion of you. However, I think the "herd" reference was more a poor use of words than indicative of a disrepect of women.
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:25 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,682 posts, read 48,305,519 times
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Originally Posted by nighttrain55 View Post
I think its just a simple reality us men have to deal with. Its never going to change as long as we are the ones expected to pursue. Its a challenge when its 6 against 1 but not impossible. Many men have died trying, but a few have been able to climb mt. everest. As far as women are concerned, unless you walk into a bar or club with a sign that says "f*ck off!" , you will get approached no matter how much you want to just dress up cute and dance with your friends. Us men are still waiting for the "When to approach women" handbook.
It's not that easy to make friends nowadays, so the idea of meeting girls through friends isn't as easy as it sounds. And I've heard about so-called clubs and groups but few seem to have many eligible women my age. So that leaves bars, clubs.etc and online dating. The former is hard when the girls aren't interested in meeting. i don't blame them or expect them to, but i don't know it makes it hard to meet gals. I barely even get to meet many women on a friendly basis very often.
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:35 AM
 
5,476 posts, read 6,745,714 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
It's not that easy to make friends nowadays, so the idea of meeting girls through friends isn't as easy as it sounds. And I've heard about so-called clubs and groups but few seem to have many eligible women my age. So that leaves bars, clubs.etc and online dating. The former is hard when the girls aren't interested in meeting. i don't blame them or expect them to, but i don't know it makes it hard to meet gals. I barely even get to meet many women on a friendly basis very often.
Bars and clubs are usualy the worst places to approach women, because of the cockblocking "herd" (lol) and their defenses way, way up. Lets face it, when a fairly attractive girl goes out, by the time you a;ppraoch, chances are she has already been hit on by 10 drunk aholes and had to tell them off. You will be much more succesful approaching women, anywhere else in public, when in a grocery store, shopping mall, a book store, a park etc etc. They do not bring the herd along, nor do they have their defenses up. its night and day, really.

And for the ladies who get in the huff about going to a club to have fun with their friends, but still have men approachng - stop yourself. Not only is it most natural thing for a man to approach you, you actualy enjoy it and take it as a compliment, no matter what front youre trying to put up
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:46 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,682 posts, read 48,305,519 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
Bars and clubs are usualy the worst places to approach women, because of the cockblocking "herd" (lol) and their defenses way, way up. Lets face it, when a fairly attractive girl goes out, by the time you a;ppraoch, chances are she has already been hit on by 10 drunk aholes and had to tell them off. You will be much more succesful approaching women, anywhere else in public, when in a grocery store, shopping mall, a book store, a park etc etc. They do not bring the herd along, nor do they have their defenses up. its night and day, really.

And for the ladies who get in the huff about going to a club to have fun with their friends, but still have men approachng - stop yourself. Not only is it most natural thing for a man to approach you, you actualy enjoy it and take it as a compliment, no matter what front youre trying to put up
I'm not so sure. I wish this was definitely the case, but I think approaching women in those public places or at the shops is more awkward because (a) it's not 'expected', and a certain type of guy (usually an old 'creep') just randomly approaches girls in public and (b) women often usually seem busy and not in the mood to socialise. If they aren't listening to music on their headphones they make it painfully obvious they don't want anybody intruding in on their personal space. That leaves 'incidental conversation' to try, against the odds, to make a friendly chat into something more. I've never got to the stage of actually asking a girl for her number or e-mail like that, it just didn't seem like the place. Maybe I need to not fear being seen as weird.
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:52 AM
 
5,476 posts, read 6,745,714 times
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Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I'm not so sure. I wish this was definitely the case, but I think approaching women in those public places or at the shops is more awkward because (a) it's not 'expected', and a certain type of guy (usually an old 'creep') just randomly approaches girls in public and (b) women often usually seem busy and not in the mood to socialise. If they aren't listening to music on their headphones they make it painfully obvious they don't want anybody intruding in on their personal space. That leaves 'incidental conversation' to try, against the odds, to make a friendly chat into something more. I've never got to the stage of actually asking a girl for her number or e-mail like that, it just didn't seem like the place. Maybe I need to not fear being seen as weird.
Mac, its all excuses my man. There is nothing weird about apoproaching women in public. Just be freindly, flirtatious and unthreatening. THere is no need for small talk either, you can be perfectly honest and clear with your intentions, without being creepy. Just go over and introduce yourself, smile, look into her eyes. If you do it in an assertive and confident way, chances are they will be giving you their number before you even have to ask for it.
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