Guys, have you found the 'herd' (her friends) an impediment in getting to know her/dating her? (boyfriends, girlfriends)
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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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I just read in another thread about how women all too often listen to other women's opinions about men, often their friends, and i'm wondering...how often has what could be a good thing been ruined by judgemental, bitchy, catty, jealous, misguided or over-protective friends?
I'm not saying a group of women consorting or discussing men is ALWAYS bad, of course, but let's face it, sometimes girls aren't really fair (and vice versa).
Also would be interesting to hear specific examples where a female friend or friends of hers actively or impeded or sabotaged your relationship. Perhaps you were getting along great, then she played a dirty trick, said something to influence her, you know what I mean. I mean even meeting some women, they're so esconsed in their group that it's like navigating a minefield. E.g. even approaching them at a club when they're with their friends.
I mean oftentimes women's intuition is spot on, and in some cases they do help get their friend out of trouble, or prevent her from ending up with an undesirable, but does the over-protective mentality sometimes just get in the way?
Often the over-protecting friend is more of a jealous manipulator who doesn't want you stealing her friend away from her. As for the group thing at clubs, just it for them to get through a few rounds of drinks, eventually the wall comes down brick by brick with each new cocktail. If not, set your sights somewhere else and let the sorority sisters have their little circle of superiority.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68
Often the over-protecting friend is more of a jealous manipulator who doesn't want you stealing her friend away from her. As for the group thing at clubs, just it for them to get through a few rounds of drinks, eventually the wall comes down brick by brick with each new cocktail. If not, set your sights somewhere else and let the sorority sisters have their little circle of superiority.
That's partly why I quit going out to clubs. All I'd see was groups of friends literally in circles, dancing.etc, and not mingling. Any girl who strayed from the pack was of course snapped up by some 6'2" Neanderthal, lol just joking.
Yes, jealousy, either of you or her friend (if she wants you) is often the reason. But I mean, group judgementalism in general.
Dear Jesus, yes. Many times, if a woman is surrounded by her respective "pack", it will make me even more reticent and I won't make an approach, unless a REALLY good opportunity comes up. Safety in numbers? Probably. I've noticed that there are occasions where the group will try preventing men from making a good approach, though. That can be tiresome when it occurs.
Dear Jesus, yes. Many times, if a woman is surrounded by her respective "pack", it will make me even more reticent and I won't make an approach, unless a REALLY good opportunity comes up. Safety in numbers? Probably. I've noticed that there are occasions where the group will try preventing men from making a good approach, though. That can be tiresome when it occurs.
Did you ever think it was because they wanted a fun night out with their girlfriends and didn't want to be bothered?
Sometimes, women just want to go out, dress up, look cute, drink a few cocktails and dance without men bothering them, then go home.
As for the OP, I always had more issues from my male friends than my female friends. My girlfriends were always happy I 'finally' found someone, since most of them had strings of boyfriends and I was perpetually single. My guy friends however...it was basically like having 10 older brothers.
Did you ever think it was because they wanted a fun night out with their girlfriends and didn't want to be bothered?
Sometimes, women just want to go out, dress up, look cute, drink a few cocktails and dance without men bothering them, then go home.
Which is why I typically don't... but I suppose one could make the argument that if they don't want to be bothered, picking a public place where there are lots of people is probably not optimal. Of course, how is one supposed to find out if they don't want to be bothered by just a glance? Finding out would require "bothering" them.
Quote:
As for the OP, I always had more issues from my male friends than my female friends. My girlfriends were always happy I 'finally' found someone, since most of them had strings of boyfriends and I was perpetually single. My guy friends however...it was basically like having 10 older brothers.
People who go out together stick with their social groups, whether they are all-male, all-female, or mixed.
Which is why I typically don't... but I suppose one could make the argument that if they don't want to be bothered, picking a public place where there are lots of people is probably not optimal. Of course, how is one supposed to find out if they don't want to be bothered by just a glance? Finding out would require "bothering" them.
People who go out together stick with their social groups, whether they are all-male, all-female, or mixed.
It's not nearly as much fun to dress up and dance around with your girlfriends in your living room If they're ignoring everyone and are engrossed with their friends, it's probably safe to say they're not interested. If they're looking around and making eye contact, it's safe to say they are.
I meant in general. My male friends wouldn't be caught dead in a 'club' or anything along those lines.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JordanJP
Dear Jesus, yes. Many times, if a woman is surrounded by her respective "pack", it will make me even more reticent and I won't make an approach, unless a REALLY good opportunity comes up. Safety in numbers? Probably. I've noticed that there are occasions where the group will try preventing men from making a good approach, though. That can be tiresome when it occurs.
^ This?
In DC, I've noticed this happens a little less but still enough to frustrate you.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,043,908 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
Did you ever think it was because they wanted a fun night out with their girlfriends and didn't want to be bothered?
Sometimes, women just want to go out, dress up, look cute, drink a few cocktails and dance without men bothering them, then go home.
As for the OP, I always had more issues from my male friends than my female friends. My girlfriends were always happy I 'finally' found someone, since most of them had strings of boyfriends and I was perpetually single. My guy friends however...it was basically like having 10 older brothers.
Yes but it seems they're always just going out with friends. It's more fun to go out in public so they can boost their ego with the you can look but don't touch attitude.
Yes but it seems they're always just going out with friends. It's more fun to go out in public so they can boost their ego with the you can look but don't touch attitude.
Eh, I'm sure there are many that go out to boost their ego. Many probably just want to go out without being bothered.
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If they're ignoring everyone and are engrossed with their friends, it's probably safe to say they're not interested. If they're looking around and making eye contact, it's safe to say they are.
