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Find a 50 year old man, marry him and live happily ever after. I hear they are keepers. You're only ticking the biological clock away and time is not on your side.
Anyone can have any standards they choose for themselves, but a money requirement is a shallow one, even if practical. You are a mother of two coming into the dating scene wayyy beyond your peak age, as far as men are concerned, but are looking for professional man with no baggage, 6 digit income, great credit and a list of otheer nonsensical requirements. Sorry, but all this really shows is how lopsided the dating scene has become and how some women fail to look in a mirror before coming online to seek a man. LMAO. Online dating is great, but women and good looking men have a substantial advantage in online dating, since guys with average or below average looks, have no opportunity to demonstrate their personality or behavior, as they would in real life. Many dont read profiles, when the picture isnt up to snuff.
I have been saying this all along. At the end of the day for most people online a picture says a 1000 words.
Last edited by Bronxguyanese; 09-11-2012 at 02:10 PM..
. Women get hit on all the time no matter what venue.
Agreed! Women have much less of a problem getting a date even more so when it comes to sex. Now the men here will NOT agree with me on this. However men will have sex with any women regardless of looks or weight. I've been down that road myself once or twice. Won't happen again though.
I can't wait for the men of the fourm to step up & like thier collective arses off!
I don't owe you an explanation, but I also don't mind sharing my story.
I don't know how much experience you have with compulsive gamblers. That was one of two major issues in my former marriage.
I was NOT "in a hole" when I began dating after my divorce. I was in a hole when I was MARRIED. No matter how much money I made, it was gone, due to my ex husband's gambling addiction. He even used our property tax fund to go gambling with, unknown to me, so we had a judgment against us for the property taxes, which shows up on a credit report. This brought my credit score down into the 680s or so - plus I had to pay it to get the judgment taken care of, of course. By the way, since the house was in my name (because I was the financially responsible one) I was served the judgment as I was loading my kids in the car to take them to school one morning. "Thanks, honey." I was tired of living like that.
We had a nice home, with a lot of equity in it (equity, by the way, from the house I had owned SEPARATELY before we got married). In the divorce, we sold the house, so I received a large chunk of money. So when I began dating, I was debt free, and had a nice savings account - in spite of the financial havoc my ex husband had been wreaking.
I had the only "real" full time job in my former marriage. My ex husband became so addicted to gambling that I had to work my ass off to keep up with basics, like the house payment, utilities, taxes, etc.
Once I started digging, I found out all sorts of financial escapades he had been involved in, basically trying to hide his gambling activities and his own income - and sometimes lack thereof. I am a straight arrow financially (and otherwise). I believe in paying bills on time, keeping debt low, and simply not hiding money issues in a marriage.
Like I said, I had a great job with a very good income in spite of my husband's shenanigans. I was able to keep the bills paid, but as his gambling spiraled out of control, I knew I couldn't live like that anymore. The straw that broke the camel's back was that he began having random sex with strangers that he would meet at casinos.
Please understand that our entire marriage was not like this. He became addicted to gambling (and eventually pornography and then this crazy random sex with strangers) over the last three years of our marriage. Looking back, I see that he is an addictive type of person - he would always throw himself into anything 110 percent and knew no moderation. But the gambling - and subsequent lifestyle changes - really shocked me.
Considering that we had kids, and I had a husband who was siphoning money off to take to casinos and to gamble online, it was a heavy financial burden for just one person. THAT is what I mean by NOT WANTING FINANCIAL DRAMA ANYMORE.
When I began dating, I had a great job, good credit, a healthy savings account, and no debt. My kids were between the ages of 19 and 23 and had moved out of the house and were independent. So - I did not come into the dating scene with financial baggage - and I did not want to become involved with anyone who had any. I had a good career and it was important to me, so I wanted someone who felt the same about their career. And I was, frankly, tired of being THE breadwinner in the marriage.
That is NOT "using someone for money." That is looking for someone with the same values. I like a level playing field. I was tired of carrying my own financial needs AND someone else's.
By the way, it wouldn't have bothered me a bit if you had "rejected me" online because of my statement about the money. For starters, I had no shortage of dates - and three marriage proposals in one year. But also, your immediate jump to conclusions and subsequent misconceptions and judgment regarding me and my situation are indicators of some personality traits I don't care for - so I guess we're both glad we never met or dated.
As for my own personal enjoyment - thank you very much. I met a terrific guy who is just as honest and hardworking as I am, and who places the same emphasis on financial integrity. He was also the former victim of an ex who wreaked financial havoc in his life and knew exactly how I felt about such a situation. We have built a very good life together over the past seven years and have been able to save a lot toward retirement as well - something that is very difficult to do when living with a gambler or a spouse who is determined to hide things related to money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
Anyone can have any standards they choose for themselves, but a money requirement is a shallow one, even if practical. You are a mother of two coming into the dating scene wayyy beyond your peak age, as far as men are concerned, but are looking for professional man with no baggage, 6 digit income, great credit and a list of otheer nonsensical requirements. Sorry, but all this really shows is how lopsided the dating scene has become and how some women fail to look in a mirror before coming online to seek a man. LMAO. Online dating is great, but women and good looking men have a substantial advantage in online dating, since guys with average or below average looks, have no opportunity to demonstrate their personality or behavior, as they would in real life. Many dont read profiles, when the picture isnt up to snuff.
Why is this woman getting the stick?
It sounds like her children are grown and gone. She has a stable job. And she was wrecked by a gambling ex-spouse. The very act of surviving gambling and maintaining financial stability is an achievement.
She is kind of qualified to up the bar a bit.
Let's review our brothers north of 40 years of age:
1. Shredded investments, no investments, no job, no savings, some collect entitlement benefits and UE
2. Overweight, medical issues, drinking problems
3. Ex-wife issues, property disputes, some are just merely separated without any divorce proceedings to avoid expenses
4. Children problems or child support issues
5. Loss of lead in paystub stability, more women are earning more and have closed the gap
These are the specimens hiding behind a jeans and a baseball cap. Avoiding another financial wreck isn't a bad choice.
So true! Same thing goes for men.. well almost anyhow we seems more willing to accept them for who they are. This isn't the case all the time I do think women understand that they don't have to settle as much as some will are willing too. Overall I think women have much better odds then we do.
It sounds like her children are grown and gone. She has a stable job. And she was wrecked by a gambling ex-spouse. The very act of surviving gambling and maintaining financial stability is an achievement.
She is kind of qualified to up the bar a bit.
Let's review our brothers north of 40 years of age:
1. Shredded investments, no investments, no job, no savings, some collect entitlement benefits and UE
2. Overweight, medical issues, drinking problems
3. Ex-wife issues, property disputes, some are just merely separated without any divorce proceedings to avoid expenses
4. Children problems or child support issues
5. Loss of lead in paystub stability, more women are earning more and have closed the gap
These are the specimens hiding behind a jeans and a baseball cap. Avoiding another financial wreck isn't a bad choice.
Its shallow is all. We all know that anyone is entitled to have their own set of standards and they shouldnt be judged for it, but an over the hill mother of four requiring someone with no baggage a 6 figure income and a good cregit score is a little bit of a laugher, to me at least.
Agreed! Women have much less of a problem getting a date even more so when it comes to sex. Now the men here will NOT agree with me on this. However men will have sex with any women regardless of looks or weight. I've been down that road myself once or twice. Won't happen again though.
I can't wait for the men of the fourm to step up & like thier collective arses off!
Correction, some men will have sex with any woman. Guys with choices have standards and wont sleep with just anyone.
And you lovely ladies can't find men in the offline world becoz???
Last time I checked, every guy I met ONLINE and decided to date, was, errrrrr....REAL in the offline world. At least his PERSON was - now whether or not he had lied in his profile or emails was something I'd have to figure out over time.
Most people, surprisingly enough, were pretty honest and forthright. I was pleasantly surprised overall.
It's just another way to meet people. Period. Nothing sinister, weird, or desperate about it unless that's just the way a person rolls anyway.
It sounds like her children are grown and gone. She has a stable job. And she was wrecked by a gambling ex-spouse. The very act of surviving gambling and maintaining financial stability is an achievement.
She is kind of qualified to up the bar a bit.
Let's review our brothers north of 40 years of age:
1. Shredded investments, no investments, no job, no savings, some collect entitlement benefits and UE
2. Overweight, medical issues, drinking problems
3. Ex-wife issues, property disputes, some are just merely separated without any divorce proceedings to avoid expenses
4. Children problems or child support issues
5. Loss of lead in paystub stability, more women are earning more and have closed the gap
These are the specimens hiding behind a jeans and a baseball cap. Avoiding another financial wreck isn't a bad choice.
You got dat right and thank you. Been there, done that - I wanted no part of financial irresponsibility every again.
I had to work on myself too by the way - I had to figure out WHY I had put up with all that I did, for as long as I did. I had to figure out why I had put blinders on about so many things - why had I been willing to look the other way rather than call my ex out before things got completely crazy? I had to fix these issues IN MYSELF before I was "fit for human consumption." I worked hard to get my head and my life straight and I wasn't about to allow any crazies or irresponsible men back into it.
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