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The OP should rename the title "I'm posting this thread so you guys can validate my insecurities about myself"
And no, the pressure is all in your mind. What other people say doesn't matter.
Now, let's say if you are a woman who says she never wants to marry. That's ok for you to say that. People will assume it is because you have been hurt by a lot of men and you are no longer able to trust .
Who says this?
I don't think anyone has assumed this about me.
I have no pressure. It would take someone extraordinary to make me consider marriage. No one else can sway me.
The issue may be that the marriage question hits a nerve with you.
Busybodies are all around us:
What are you going to be when you grow up?
What are you going to do after college?
When are you getting married? or Don't get married, you'll ruin your life.
When are you going to have kids? How many? You're life will never be the same.
What about the second, you're not going to raise an ONLY, are you?
The issue may be that the marriage question hits a nerve with you.
Busybodies are all around us:
What are you going to be when you grow up?
What are you going to do after college?
When are you getting married? or Don't get married, you'll ruin your life.
When are you going to have kids? How many? You're life will never be the same.
What about the second, you're not going to raise an ONLY, are you?
Blah, blah, blah
I have a feeling what some view as "busybodies" could actually just be well-intentioned folks making conversation or trying to take an interest in other peoples lives
Why do you care so much what other people think about your choices about your life? If you bow to "pressure" from Joe Schmo on the street or Aunt Shirley, that's your issue. Live your life for you.
Oh I wont bow to the pressure, Bob! Just venting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobPollard
And where are these people "pressuring" 25 year olds to marry. Kentucky? Nebraska?
Happens all the time in conservative states like Indiana, where I live. I have a 27 year old male friend who lives in a small town and people constantly ask why he is not married and they assume it is because he is too picky. This comes from people who don't know him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moe'sTavern
The OP should rename the title "I'm posting this thread so you guys can validate my insecurities about myself"
And no, the pressure is all in your mind. What other people say doesn't matter.
You know so much about me based off of one post. I guess I struck a nerve since you felt the need to come out and insult me. Thanks.
I have a feeling what some view as "busybodies" could actually just be well-intentioned folks making conversation or trying to take an interest in other peoples lives
It's a fine line and sometimes taking an interest in a stranger's life may be the wrong thing. Quit poking and prodding. If someone will open themselves up to you by delving into that themselves then it would understanding for you to ask. Some stranger starts asking about my personal life. I do get uncomfortable and it doesn't even have to be a stranger. A family member or friend could ask me. I guess my personal life is something that I take very literally. It's "personal". Then again, do you ask strangers (or family and friends) about their personal life right from the off? Whenever I'm asked, I will tell them to mind their own business. However, it doesn't make it less annoying to have to tell them to mind their own business.
It's a fine line and sometimes taking an interest in a stranger's life may be the wrong thing. Quit poking and prodding. If someone will open themselves up to you by delving into that themselves then it would understanding for you to ask. Some stranger starts asking about my personal life. I do get uncomfortable and it doesn't even have to be a stranger. A family member or friend could ask me. I guess my personal life is something that I take very literally. It's "personal". Then again, do you ask strangers (or family and friends) about their personal life right from the off? Whenever I'm asked, I will tell them to mind their own business. However, it doesn't make it less annoying to have to tell them to mind their own business.
Some people always see the glass as half full, while others always see that same glass as half empty.
When someone expresses interest in my life I rarely jump straight to the assumption that they mean me any harm or insult.
Some people always see the glass as half full, while others always see that same glass as half empty.
When someone expresses interest in my life I rarely jump straight to the assumption that they mean me any harm or insult.
Maybe that's just me!
I understand you but I just don't think that asking about my personal life is necessary. I'm not the only one who thinks that. If I just met you somewhere I'm not going to ask you about your personal life. I just don't feel it's necessary. Some do though and it's uncomfortable to run across those people.
i never felt pressured and had parents that asked me every time i was with a girl for more then 5 months when i would be getting married and have children lol
i understood where they where coming from, there was no pressure to be had...just an understanding of positions in life. they wanted the best for me and to settle, that is all it came down too.
as for girls that feel the needs to want marriage as a ultimate goal even before meeting you..never payed them much attention and always dated people i had already known well.
Last edited by rego00123; 08-30-2012 at 10:33 PM..
I understand you but I just don't think that asking about my personal life is necessary. I'm not the only one who thinks that. If I just met you somewhere I'm not going to ask you about your personal life. I just don't feel it's necessary. Some do though and it's uncomfortable to run across those people.
It might not be "necessary", but in some parts of this country it's just part of the local culture.
The important thing to try to focus on is, most times the person asking means not harm.
If they make you uncomfortable just politely deflect by turning the tables on them and asking them a question.
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