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If you don't know after three months whether he likes you, he's just not that into you. Heck, you should be able to tell after a couple of weeks if he's into you. There should be no doubt as to his level of interest, especially if he's in his 40s. You're on the back-burner now. Cut your losses and move on.
Deciding "never again" is only going to guarantee that it will never happen for you. There's nothing wrong with taking a break from dating, but once you start speaking in absolutes, you can't blame anyone but yourself when you end up alone. Somehow, I don't think that's what you want, though, so if I were you, I would just take a break from actively looking, but leave the option open if a nice man strikes up a conversation and asks you out. You can always take a more proactive role in looking after the holidays.
He's shy and inexperienced but I get the vibe he is interested.
I think the "no sex until marriage" thing also plays a role. I can't imagine any man in his 40s dealing with that unless he, too, thought the same way, and men like that are extremely rare.
I don't tell them that at all so it plays no role. However, no I am not open to anything sexually until we are in a relationship.
She wants to marry and maybe have children. If she is 40+ and still hasnt found a man, you better believe she needs.to lower her standards because the current ones are too high. That, or she.should give up already and build her cat colony.
I do not believe any such thing I am afraid. I see no reason to compromise who you actually are just to get people to love you. Again I think it is best to be yourself and not be loved than be something your not and have someone love the lie.
I do not believe any such thing I am afraid. I see no reason to compromise who you actually are just to get people to love you. Again I think it is best to be yourself and not be loved than be something your not and have someone love the lie.
yea but most of these people don't beleive in that. they have a 'herd mentality' more times then not.
I would rather be alone than settle. I am fine with being alone to be honest and yes if he's not interested I expect to be alone. However I have no reason as of yet that he's not interested (I feel he is). He is very shy and very low self esteem who doesn't believe I would like him. Now that he knows I do (or I think he knows)I expect things to happen.
yea but most of these people don't beleive in that. they have a 'herd mentality' more times then not.
There is indeed a need in most people to get a partner no matter what you have to do or compromise on in order to get there. I simply can not agree with it myself. I think it best to stay true to yourself and go on your own journey. If someone joins you on that journey then that is great - if not then that can be great too.
The idea of compromising me or my standards to be something I am not just to get someone to love me seems to be an empty and pointless undertaking that I would never engage in.
There is indeed a need in most people to get a partner no matter what you have to do or compromise on in order to get there. I simply can not agree with it myself. I think it best to stay true to yourself and go on your own journey. If someone joins you on that journey then that is great - if not then that can be great too.
The idea of compromising me or my standards to be something I am not just to get someone to love me seems to be an empty and pointless undertaking that I would never engage in.
It really is. I know far too many people who settled and end up divorced. I'd rather be never married then marry the wrong person. I am truly fine with being single if this is what happens, though I feel I will get married eventually. I have a complete life outside of dating and will continue this if never married or married.
What I will never understand though is this whole idea that a woman must settle or she will be a "crazy cat lady". So what if a woman never marries, not everyone will. So what if she has a bunch of cats and no husband, if she is fine with this who cares. Notice they never say anything like this to men? I know older men still single and while a few tell them they need to settle, for the most part as a society we tell men to be as picky as possible while telling women to settle. That's like even the single parent issue, women like me are told we are being unrealistic but when a man says he's not open to it people agree with him.
I am sure you do. Your problem, however, is that you wont date those guys. The ones.you DO want to date don't want you in return. That is what i mean about you punching outside your weight class.
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