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So those of us who never want to get married, will live alone forever simply because we dont have a paper to say its "okay" to live with the person your dating? So if I date someone for 10 years and dont have a ring on my finger we should continue to live down the street from each other?
I don't believe anyone has said that. You do what is right for YOU.
I lived with my husband for almost a year before we got married. We were engaged shortly after we moved in together. It was a good choice, our marriage lasted almost 20 years and was a happy one for most of those years.
Now that I am divorced and single I have no desire to live with a man. I like my own space and the way I do things. I daresay that even if I married again I would not want to live together!
I feel exactly the same way. Love my BF, but I would never live with him, or any other man for that matter.
I think another good reason to live together first is to break in that awkward period where you are adjusting to one another.
When my husband moved in with me, we were engaged with the wedding date set for 4-5 months down the road. I'd never lived with a guy before and particularly someone who wasn't very neat. The first few weeks and months were tough. I wasn't used to his space or his dog and his way of doing things and it caused a strain. But we were committed so we worked on our issues and in time it got better.
By the time we got hitched, things were great. But I'm so glad we ironed out of issues beforehand otherwise the newlywed stage would have been cut very short.
I also have a friend who just got married in early this year. She didn't live with her hubs beforehand and spent the first few months fighting endlessly about everything. They've worked it out now but it was very heated for awhile.
I also don't think that just because a couple stayed together for life does not necessarily mean they were happy with their marriage during the entire time. I know of plenty of older couples who stayed together who settled for sexless, loveless, platonic marriages for a variety of reasons. May work for some but not all. Staying together just for the sake of staying together does not spell happiness for me.
this is the key
its not just divorce rate - its what % of people who get married are actually happy?
id rather live with someone first and find out its not going to work rather than wait until im married and if it doesnt work im screwed
A lot of women live with their boyfriend or fiance for years thinking one day he will marry them. What often happens is that the guy just have these women on standby until he finds the woman he truly wants. He dumps his longtime woman, and marries the woman that he has never lived with,usually within just months of meeting her. The other issue is the out of wedlock birthrate that has exploded because of all of this living together without marriage. When women stop accepting low standards, the men will stop behaving with such low standards.
this post is full of fail
if these women married this same men nothing would be different except it would be a legal pain in the ass in addition to an emotional one
as for "women accepting low standards" way too many women would rather have a ring on their finger and being in a horse**** marriage than be in a healthy relationship with no ring
make men treat you well all the time not give you a piece of paper so you can get fat and lazy
Don't know where this is coming from. At my university, very few people live together. Some moved out, but the general expectation is to live in an apartment/shared house all alone, only one person.
I can see why they would, but I read in news articles that living together before marriage actually hurts more than it helps. I heard that a common theory is people who do that generally do exclusively to have more physical contact, since it makes it a lot easier in the relationship but also usually kills it. After all, who would actually want to share the dirty chores?
Personally, I wouldn't. While it would be nice to have someone to live with, I would also say it probably spoils a relationship after you've seen each other so close.
People who don't live together before marriage are morons. That's like buying a used car without checking under the hood or test driving. My brother did this and supposedly didn't have sex with her before marriage. She's an obnoxious witch who could probably get royalties for the Debra character on Everybody Loves Raymond. He always looks so sullen and depressed. He's something of a dummy though, you never meet anyone smart who didn't live with their future spouse before marriage in the past 20 years. Plus she was barely out of high school and he was almost 30, she's practically still a kid and has tantrums like one. I suspect there's a bit too much chlorine in my gene pool
Last edited by PhenomenalAJ; 09-08-2012 at 12:38 AM..
I agree - only a retard would go into marriage blind
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You do what is right for YOU.
