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Where did it come from? The fact that women want to get married so badly (which is really just a financial contract...nothing changes aside from that) and seem to look for the highest bidder is where it comes from.
In case you didn't notice, most women:
-won't date a guy who makes less than them
-won't marry a guy who makes less than them
-refuse to date unemployed guys
-are quick to divorce if a guy's financial situation gets messy
-won't let a guy be a stay at home dad
-determine if a guy is dateable based on his job description
-push for marriage because they know they'll end up benefiting financially.
Not all women operate like this, but the majority do. On the other hand, most guys don't need their woman to make more than them, they won't refuse to date an unemployed woman, they won't divorce a woman if her job situation gets messy, and they don't determine if a woman is datable based on her job description/career status.
I only know only a handful of women like this.
It all depends on the guy and how he gets treated by the women.
Example my best friend's now girlfriend was spoiled by her last boyfriend she barely gave up "the goods" and she always picked arguments with him. She basically walked over him.
That same girl...will give it up whenever my boy feels like getting some, she will put gas in his tank, and she respects him as the leader in their relationship. He was broke for almost 8 months she supported him financially, and emotionally. She never complained about him one time.
Sometimes you have to ask yourself the cold hard question. Maybe it's just me.
Also nearly ever women thats with a guy just for money is cheating on him.
i totally agree. my buddies and i have reached the same conclusion really, that even though money can help a guy (insofar as he can buy better clothes and invest in himself, thus feeling more confident which in turn makes him more attractive to women) the fact is that the actual percentage of gold diggers out there is pretty small. the traits you mentioned (confidence, attractiveness, style, ability to make a woman laugh), usually triumph over money.
that said, i also believe (and lament the fact) that as women get older, they tend to place less emphasis on a guy's personality and worry more about things like: does he rent or own? does he live with roommates? what part of the city does he live in? etc etc...while these concerns don't make a woman a gold digger, i don't believe they're great metrics on which to base your perception of a guy either...
Exactly. Thinking that getting more money will solve your problem with women will only lead to heartbrake. I've seen countless times guys get half their money taken in divorce, she's leaving him for a more attractive/ or even richer guy and he finds out she was screwing someone else behind her back.
Countless situations where he's at work bringing home the bacon while some guy is plowing away at her.
Women need good sex, excitement, a genuine physical attraction to their mate as well as mental stimulation.
I can understand women's need to judge a man on the basics.
Neither money or physical attractivness are important. If a man behaves in a way that is atytractive to women, that is all it takes. THe misconception came from the fact, that men who fail with the opposite sex, need an external source to blame their failures on, because theyre too affraid to look in a mirror.
I agree...that men blame their external failures on the all women want money thing.
I disagree with the physical attractiveness thing. I have been on both sides. Being physically attractive makes a huge difference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I think this whole thing started because MEN are into status. Men tend to play one-upmanship games with each other, trying to out-manoever each other for promotions, or get the latest hot car, the hottest babe for arm candy, etc. Kind of like how men even in their 20's now obsess about going to the gym and getting buff, justifying it by saying they need this to get women. When women say they don't care, or that a too-built-up body is a turn-off, men get upset. A lot of this stuff is driven by male ego, but they try to palm it off on women so they don't have to take responsibility for their own vanity. That's my take. Which is not to say there aren't any women out there who hustle men for money or choose a guy on the basis of his paycheck or lifestyle, but as the OP said, those are in the minority.
Even though I have and would date a man who made less than me, I have NO problem for EITHER sex just wanting something similiar to what they bring to the table. So, if that hurts peoples feelings, so be it. Hell, I dont ask for a guy that makes 200k a year because I dont make 200k a year either. I have my own home, I drive a 99 Hyundai Sonata..(not some fancy car). I have a college degree (Associates Degree..not a PHd or something) ...been at my job for years, and have a pretty decent career. I made about $66,000 last year. I dont drink or smoke and have no kids.
Now, do I sound like some big shot? No..im just an average middle class person. So, I dont think im asking too much if I want to meet a man that brings what I bring to the table. How is that being a gold digger, or caring too much about money?? Someone posted a link about women wanting a man on their income level..so what?? Sh*t, I work..he cant??
I dont demand that a man make 200k..cause I dont. I would like it if he made close to what I do, or not too far away from it, because that is what I bring to the table. I will say though that how someone MANAGES their money is important because you could make $100,000 a yr and be living from paycheck to paycheck. I would prefer that a man have his own car, because I do. Doesnt have to be a fancy car, cause I dont have a fancy car. I would prefer that a man have decent living conditions, and not be living in his mom's basement because I dont live in my mom's basement and I have decent living conditions.
I am in my 40's, so that is the age range of men im talking about. Not 22 yr olds. There is nothing 'fancy' about me. So, for me to just want someone similiar to me should not be offensive to someone because I myself bring that to the table. If I had no job, dropped out of school, no car, 5 kids, and lived in that basement I was talking about, but then I only wanted to date a guy with his own home, car, good job and college educated, THEN you could look at me and ask me what makes me think I should ask for that.
This goes for men and women. Now, like I said, I HAVE, for instance, dated someone who made significantly less than I do. But, when I say im looking for someone on my level, that is just a guideline. Doesnt mean I wont move on those depending on what is going on in that persons life at the time. However, I dont think that anyone who just generally looks for someone on their level is wrong at all, as long as THEY bring those things to the table.
Edited to add; It goes without saying how important other qualities are within a person. I made this post because of the topic.
I completely understand.
Dating someone around the same financial level will avoid alot of financial tension in the relationship as well.
I have to admit, that it is much easier for me to get laid, when I have enough money.
Thats because there hoping you slip up, get them pregnant and will get your money either through child support, or manipulation which would lead to marriage and divorce with kids.
These rich dudes use money and material things to reel women in, only to get mad when they realize the women really care more about those things than the guy himself.
And yeah, some guys use it as a defense mechanism when women turn them down. 'Pfft, she'd bang me if I was rich or famous.'
I hate when guys brag about being able to get hotter women in their elevated status and wealth. Well, I would hope so, boppers and groupies come with that lifestyle. You have no reason to brag. You think Rick Ross could get more women than me if on an even playing field?
If anything, I would have more reason, seeing as I attracted a beautiful woman with my looks and personality, while you had to get your girl with your black card, a couple LV handbags and the keys to a Range Rover.
I've got 100s of different women from yahoo answers disagreeing..
You should really read through each and everyone of those threads.
They are very informative and I gurantee you learn something about women.
I learned women care about a man's face more then his body.
That his eyes is the most important feature followed by a a great smile and nice teeth.
Personality is extremely important.
He has to be exciting.
All straight from women.
I applied it to my life and I'm doing fine.
lol who am I going to listen to. One guy or hundreds of different women saying the same thing.
These rich dudes use money and material things to reel women in, only to get mad when they realize the women really care more about those things than the guy himself.
And yeah, some guys use it as a defense mechanism when women turn them down. 'Pfft, she'd bang me if I was rich or famous.'
I hate when guys brag about being able to get hotter women in their elevated status and wealth. Well, I would hope so, boppers and groupies come with that lifestyle. You have no reason to brag. You think Rick Ross could get more women than me if on an even playing field?
If anything, I would have more reason, seeing as I attracted a beautiful woman with my looks and personality, while you had to get your girl with your black card, a couple LV handbags and the keys to a Range Rover.
How in the heck do all these women know you have money unless you're telling them?
Good question.
I'm assuming some see when the guy rolls up to the valet in a Jag, Porsche or whatever.
They notice you're wearing a Rolex or some other distinguishable, high-priced piece of clothing.
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