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09-14-2012, 10:38 AM
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588 posts, read 922,197 times
Reputation: 511
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blazejen
I'd go with a synthesis of the two: As you're going about your business, you can interact with people without fear of rejection (more confidence) and without wondering what they're thinking (ibid.), and so you're more approachable, more yourself, and more interesting... more attractive.
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Couldn't have put it better myself.  |
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09-14-2012, 10:40 AM
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15,714 posts, read 20,509,923 times
Reputation: 12814
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blazejen
I'd go with a synthesis of the two: As you're going about your business, you can interact with people without fear of rejection (more confidence) and without wondering what they're thinking (ibid.), and so you're more approachable, more yourself, and more interesting... more attractive.
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I'd go with this...and then say if I had to choose to settle the debate, I'd go with the BF's point of view. |
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09-14-2012, 11:09 AM
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137 posts, read 186,619 times
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I have many more women interested in me when I'm not in a relationship.
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09-14-2012, 11:23 AM
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Location: Baltimore, MD
10,928 posts, read 8,517,851 times
Reputation: 51111
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76
Yeah it happens. Chris Rock put it best for guys, when you get a woman, she cleans you up, cuts your hair, gets the crust out of your eye, have you smelling good, now women are calling you for sex parties every tuesday.
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Chris Rock is wrong.
I take care of those things myself... |
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09-14-2012, 12:27 PM
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Location: Chicago
3,676 posts, read 6,404,994 times
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Yup. I had a girl alllll over me prior to my breakup from my GF at the time. After we broke up, she acted like I never existed. I actually think that was caused by her liking what she can't have though, not so much about anything different I was doing.
To answer your original question, I too think its all of the above. Depending on the person one or the other may be the main contributing factor.
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09-14-2012, 12:37 PM
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2,759 posts, read 4,787,151 times
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I agree with you, more than I agree with your bf. Every time I am in a comfortable relationship, I go about my business like I don't care who I meet. And for some reason, women seem to pick up on this attitude and find me more attractive when I am just minding my own business.
But when I'm single, I struggle a lot to get anywhere with women.
But, your bf's point... some women see a guy with a woman, and deduct that since guy can get THAT as a gf, then surely I can get THAT guy. Problem is with this, once single woman pulls guy away from the guys gf, she is bored and doesnt want guy now that she has him. Guys do this also, but for different reason. If a guy does this, it is just to sleep with the other guys gf, and once he sleeps with her, he doesnt care anymore, as opposed to women seeing it more as a competitive thing.
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09-14-2012, 12:45 PM
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3,092 posts, read 4,716,398 times
Reputation: 3724
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss J 74
So we know the old Murphy's Law:
When you're single, it's almost as if no one pays any attention to you. But the minute you're in a relationship, all of a sudden people start hitting on you.
So the BF and I are having this happen to us, but we slightly disagree on WHY this happens.
His theory is that your attitude changes, you're more confident, even if slightly and people (or at least women) notice this.
My theory is you're no longer checking people out anymore, or at least as much as you used to, because you're in a relationship. So now you're going about your business, doing your own thing, and may seem more approachable as opposed to someone looking almost desperate.
While our theories are kind of on the same wavelength, because we agree it boils down to how you carry yourself while in a relationship vs single, he thinks the opposite sex can automatically sense when you're in a relationship, while I say no.
What do you guys say?
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BF is right |
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09-14-2012, 12:58 PM
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Location: Phoenix,AZ
7,410 posts, read 13,429,976 times
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I've noticed that women in general treat me differently since I've been married.
Why?
'Cuz a lot of us married guys are NOT dirtbags lookin' to get into any female's pants.
We're polite and respectful, and we deal with in-laws without getting arrested.
We pick up our dirty underwear, (I'm even better that that....I don't throw it on the floor anyway), and we can take care of all household chores.
We've been TRAINED.
And these rings that we wear on our left hands are a badge of honor.
Wondering out loud......
Would my sister-in-law give me the time of day if we weren't related?
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09-14-2012, 01:44 PM
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Location: Long Island, NY
7,844 posts, read 12,706,466 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss J 74
I can see this happening. You could be single for years and the minute you get involved with someone is when the phone starts ringing, even from people you haven't seen in forever.  It's like they had telepathic powers and you sent brain waves out into the world that you're happy that you're taken and they want to tap into it. (or tap it, if you're a perv). |
I just left you a rep comment...happened to me with an old co-worker. When I was single, he showed no interest. He was transferred to another area so I hadn't seen him for a few years. He happens to be in my office one day. He knew I was married yet asked if I'm still married and how is it working out? It wasn't so much what he said but how he said it. I knew how he was when he flirted and when we would just talk about random stuff. He was flirting. In all the years I knew him, he never said I looked good. This particular day he tells me I'm looking good and gives me a kiss on the cheek as he leaves. If only I were single...he was so dang hot...
(I ran out of room in my comment to you lol) |
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09-14-2012, 01:54 PM
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Location: North NJ by way of Brooklyn, NY
2,628 posts, read 4,460,443 times
Reputation: 3559
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123
I just left you a rep comment...happened to me with an old co-worker. When I was single, he showed no interest. He was transferred to another area so I hadn't seen him for a few years. He happens to be in my office one day. He knew I was married yet asked if I'm still married and how is it working out? It wasn't so much what he said but how he said it. I knew how he was when he flirted and when we would just talk about random stuff. He was flirting. In all the years I knew him, he never said I looked good. This particular day he tells me I'm looking good and gives me a kiss on the cheek as he leaves. If only I were single...he was so dang hot...
(I ran out of room in my comment to you lol)
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What cracks me up about that is that similar things happened to me while I was married. And it didn't stop some guys from asking if I wanted to meet up anyway. Yet they didn't pay me any mind when I was single years before.
I think it stems back to what another poster said about how some people look at it as a challenge. |
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