U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 09-17-2012, 02:20 PM
 
3,248 posts, read 2,642,103 times
Reputation: 3438

Advertisements

I think he does like me. He's usually the one who'll text me during the day time to see how I'm doing, but as for meeting up, it's usually me. But maybe I don't really give him a chance to ask because I like to plan ahead. It's been the case where I'll ask what he's doing, he says "nothing", asks what I'm doing, I'll say "nothing", then he'll say lets hang out. But he hasn't just contacted me and said lets hang out all on his own. He seems to enjoy my company. He told me he broke off his other dates he was seeing. And when I expressed my concern about us just being about sex, he said its not all about sex. And he's invited me to stay the night a few times (but it was me who had initiated visiting him or forgetting something at his place). I just wish we could have more conversations because that's important to me. I think the sex is great but after sex I feel bad because we're not conversing. And it feels weird when he calls me nicknames. I don't feel like we're there yet until we have some good conversation that connects us emotionally. Until then it's not meaning much to me. I know men don't really like talking on the phone. He usually texts me. How do I let him know we should have more conversations without me calling him all the time? And how do I know he's not just shy or doesn't want to bother me too much? I also told him I have a lot on my plate right now and he does too and I've mentioned me wanting a good balance between seeing someone and having my own time. Am I sending mixed signals?

Yeah, I'll back off this week and see what happens...
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-17-2012, 02:25 PM
 
18,488 posts, read 16,195,682 times
Reputation: 41963
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Beer View Post
Yeah, exactly.
What do you mean?
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-17-2012, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Central California
1,783 posts, read 2,000,690 times
Reputation: 1684
Quote:
Originally Posted by ponchew0 View Post
I think he does like me. He's usually the one who'll text me during the day time to see how I'm doing, but as for meeting up, it's usually me. But maybe I don't really give him a chance to ask because I like to plan ahead. It's been the case where I'll ask what he's doing, he says "nothing", asks what I'm doing, I'll say "nothing", then he'll say lets hang out. But he hasn't just contacted me and said lets hang out all on his own. He seems to enjoy my company. He told me he broke off his other dates he was seeing. And when I expressed my concern about us just being about sex, he said its not all about sex. And he's invited me to stay the night a few times (but it was me who had initiated visiting him or forgetting something at his place). I just wish we could have more conversations because that's important to me. I think the sex is great but after sex I feel bad because we're not conversing. And it feels weird when he calls me nicknames. I don't feel like we're there yet until we have some good conversation that connects us emotionally. Until then it's not meaning much to me. I know men don't really like talking on the phone. He usually texts me. How do I let him know we should have more conversations without me calling him all the time? And how do I know he's not just shy or doesn't want to bother me too much? I also told him I have a lot on my plate right now and he does too and I've mentioned me wanting a good balance between seeing someone and having my own time. Am I sending mixed signals?

Yeah, I'll back off this week and see what happens...
You're all over the place. Just be cool and whatever happens happens. Things will work out much better if you just calm down.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-17-2012, 02:50 PM
 
5,348 posts, read 6,344,442 times
Reputation: 7158
Every one has a different definition of "too soon".

Plus as I've said before, there are tons of people in LTR and even marriages who slept together in a time period where most people Would claim too soon and have excellent relationships
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-17-2012, 03:50 PM
 
2,761 posts, read 4,373,271 times
Reputation: 2993
Quote:
Originally Posted by BioMechanical View Post
Have you ever considered ... and this might sound crazy! ... but have you considered telling him how you feel? Seriously, when I am dating a girl if I am doing something that is pissing her off I would like to know about it because it's probably NOT intentional. We are not mind readers. A lot of times a simple conversation will suffice. Tell him to be a man and step up, and if he fails to do so then you know it's time to move on. But at least give the guy a chance to fix the problem.
I agree with this 100%.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-17-2012, 03:59 PM
 
864 posts, read 1,261,180 times
Reputation: 1138
Quote:
Originally Posted by LegalDiva View Post
Ignore him. He's just not that into you.
This.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-17-2012, 03:59 PM
Status: "Finally in Durham!" (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: Durham, NC
24,944 posts, read 35,607,992 times
Reputation: 35190
Quote:
Originally Posted by BioMechanical View Post
Have you ever considered ... and this might sound crazy! ... but have you considered telling him how you feel? Seriously, when I am dating a girl if I am doing something that is pissing her off I would like to know about it because it's probably NOT intentional. We are not mind readers. A lot of times a simple conversation will suffice. Tell him to be a man and step up, and if he fails to do so then you know it's time to move on. But at least give the guy a chance to fix the problem.
What a ground-breaking idea!

I really wish this "wait for the man" crap would die off. If women were more straight up, it'd help a lot.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-17-2012, 04:34 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,130 posts, read 8,909,983 times
Reputation: 11719
The last guy I really liked ended up staying over on the second date. We had a ridiculous spark and it just kind of happened. I think if a guy is a decent guy who likes you he's just going to be thrilled you let him go that far so fast, and he's going to keep sticking around. If he's a jerk who was only out for a piece then he will exit the picture whenever you put out or get tired of waiting and exit sooner. People can say whatever they want but I don't think there's any point in playing some sort of waiting game. If you're both into it go for it. It seems like maybe you guys are physically compatible but not emotionally compatible. I've had that happen before where the physical spark was there, but there wasn't much to say otherwise. I would just be up front with him. Tell him you feel like you're making all the effort to plan dates and you would like it if sometimes he inititated getting together. He can't know you're unhappy if you don't tell him. If he cares about you then he will make more effort. If he doesn't, then at least you sooner rather than later that he's not the right guy for you.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-17-2012, 04:57 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
10,289 posts, read 21,198,243 times
Reputation: 13737
Quote:
Originally Posted by BioMechanical View Post
Have you ever considered ... and this might sound crazy! ... but have you considered telling him how you feel? Seriously, when I am dating a girl if I am doing something that is pissing her off I would like to know about it because it's probably NOT intentional. We are not mind readers. A lot of times a simple conversation will suffice. Tell him to be a man and step up, and if he fails to do so then you know it's time to move on. But at least give the guy a chance to fix the problem.
I agree with this. If my husband and I had not discussed a few things early on we wouldn't be together now.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-17-2012, 05:30 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,369 posts, read 13,322,027 times
Reputation: 10342
Stop offering yourself to him, and see if he asks you out. If he is simply enjoying the easy P you gave him, he isnt.going to tell you and risk it being revoked.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top