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To answer your original question, NO. The reason? I am used to have a comfortable life, I can afford to go to nice places, and it would be very hard for me to get used to a person who does not spend any money.
On the same token, I would not get involved with anyone who makes substantially less than me, or have bad credit, a lot of debt or children.
A woman who a) doesn't know a man well, 2) has only been on four dates with him, and 3) doesn't even show enough interest in HIM PERSONALLY to even KNOW WHY he is so frugal certainly hasn't done anything to entitle her to gifts and fancy dinners.
That’s right. I don’t even like the world “entitled”. For me, it sounds bad when a woman feels she is “entitled” to a man spending his money on her. As bad as it sounds for a man to feel he is “entitled” to sex. Those two things are nicer when they happen naturally. When women feel a man should spend on them because they let him have sex, it sounds like the world’s oldest profession “I let him have sex with me, now he should pay!” as bad as “I spend on her, she should let me have sex”.
The girls I date, go out with, etc. don't mind at all to pitch in since the very first date regardless of who asked who, genders, etc. You seem to do the same so you know what I am talking about . These girls I go out with don't "try" they actually pay/pitch in/contribute to expenses.
That’s right. I don’t even like the world “entitled”. For me, it sounds bad when a woman feels she is “entitled” to a man spending his money on her. As bad as it sounds for a man to feel he is “entitled” to sex. Those two things are nicer when they happen naturally. When women feel a man should spend on them because they let him have sex, it sounds like the world’s oldest profession “I let him have sex with me, now he should pay!” as bad as “I spend on her, she should let me have sex”.
I do not think men should pay all the time, but if she gets with him, and she wants to go to a restaurant she either has to pay all the time, or go and do free stuff.
Not for me , thanks! I work hard and have been working hard for a long time, and lead a responsible life. I want to enjoy life and realistically, enjoying life implies spending money.
I do not think men should pay all the time, but if she gets with him, and she wants to go to a restaurant she either has to pay all the time, or go and do free stuff.
I know, huh? There are women who pay too much attention to how much a man spends or doesn’t spend instead of getting to know him, enjoying the time together, and so on.
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Not for me , thanks! I work hard and have been working hard for a long time, and lead a responsible life. I want to enjoy life and realistically, enjoying life implies spending money.
That means you don’t mind spending money on a man, right?
I do not spend money on anyone other than my sisters and my pets. That said, I would not mind to go 50/50 on a date. I do not expect a man to pay all the time, but I do not spend money on men either. I do not see a reason to do it.
(Well maybe a really hot one like Seth Macfarlane. I can spend money on him LOL )
That’s right. I don’t even like the world “entitled”. For me, it sounds bad when a woman feels she is “entitled” to a man spending his money on her. As bad as it sounds for a man to feel he is “entitled” to sex. Those two things are nicer when they happen naturally. When women feel a man should spend on them because they let him have sex, it sounds like the world’s oldest profession “I let him have sex with me, now he should pay!” as bad as “I spend on her, she should let me have sex”.
The girls I date, go out with, etc. don't mind at all to pitch in since the very first date regardless of who asked who, genders, etc. You seem to do the same so you know what I am talking about . These girls I go out with don't "try" they actually pay/pitch in/contribute to expenses.
Right on. It's just the thoughtful thing to do.
When I began dating after my divorce (8 or so years ago) I was dating men with well established careers, who were also in their forties and fifties, and therefore a little more traditional in their mindset. I would have paid more often, but they usually wouldn't "let me" and I didn't want to offend them.
But I was CERTAINLY always open to paying - and if I suggested we do something together (rather than them), I would always say, "Hey, let me take you to _______________" or "How 'bout you let me take you out this weekend?"
It's just POLITE - you know? Kind. Not being a user. Dang.
When I began dating after my divorce (8 or so years ago) I was dating men with well established careers, who were also in their forties and fifties, and therefore a little more traditional in their mindset. I would have paid more often, but they usually wouldn't "let me" and I didn't want to offend them.
But I was CERTAINLY always open to paying - and if I suggested we do something together (rather than them), I would always say, "Hey, let me take you to _______________" or "How 'bout you let me take you out this weekend?"
Yes, there are men out there who feel offended if they don’t pay for a woman’s expenses. Wonder if there is a traditional role women might feel offended if a man did it instead of them. Anyways, when I first moved to Japan I got confused as the girls I went out with would get offended if they didn’t pay. Later on, I learned to appreciate it. They didn’t “try” or pretend, they actually did it and there have been occasions where they would put their foot down to tell me they REALLY MEAN IT when they say they want to pitch in or pay for the whole thing and if I didn’t accept they would just be offended. There are women who would get offended if a man accepts their offer, which I ask, why offer in the first place if someone doesn’t mean it?
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It's just POLITE - you know? Kind. Not being a user. Dang
My friend is currently dating a very nice guy, but she constantly complains that he always selects free events for them to attend. They visit various museums, and partake in site seeing excursions, but he never spends any direct money on her. She's not sleeping with him, but she still feels that he should buy her a gift or two and take her to a nice restaurant every once in a while.
I've advised her to leave him, but she seems reluctant, since he's so nice. Would you continue to date a nice guy who happened to be very frugal?
Uh, I'm not sure I could even retort to such banal drivel displaying such superficiality.
If you are a person with any integrity, you'd contact the guy and tell him the girl is trash and to dump her.
Dating is not about buying gifts; it's not a freaking birthday or christmas holiday event. Dating is about getting to know someone sufficiently to determine if that person is right for a committed relationship leading to engagement and ultimately marriage.
After you're in a committed relationship, that's when the guy surprises her with a gift now and then, and takes her out to nice restaurants and does other things.
Tell your friend to get some serious counseling.
Also tell your friend relationships are about communicating. He's not a mind-reader and if she cannot communicate her needs and desires, then she has no business dating until she learns to improve her interpersonal communication skills, which are apparently atrocious at best.
Of course, I suspect if she did communicate her desire, he'd probably see her for the high-maintenance gold-digging wench that she is, and dump her.
Maybe the guy isn't frugal, maybe it's that he just doesn't have any money. No castles here, just a plain ordinary cottage. Can your friend deal with that? Probably not.
My friend is currently dating a very nice guy, but she constantly complains that he always selects free events for them to attend. They visit various museums, and partake in site seeing excursions, but he never spends any direct money on her. She's not sleeping with him, but she still feels that he should buy her a gift or two and take her to a nice restaurant every once in a while.
I've advised her to leave him, but she seems reluctant, since he's so nice. Would you continue to date a nice guy who happened to be very frugal?
Depends on what you mean by "frugal". My BF is definitely frugal. We split our first meeting (actually he paid for the lunch - we split the golf), and he paid completely for the second date...and maybe the third. After that I think we pretty much both chip in about half. We don't keep track of every cent, but I think it's probably close to even. He's a great guy, his frugality doesn't really matter to me.
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. These girls I go out with don't "try" they actually pay/pitch in/contribute to expenses.
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