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I live in a very high COL area and I'm fresh out of college making a lower-scale salary (while trying to get a better job) and have a considerable amount of college debt. I don't have a lot of money to spare. Now buying a girl a smoothie or a coffee while we take a walk? Cool. A occasional lunch or dinner at a Orange Line hip restaurant in Virginia? Alright. Dinner or a gift every time I see you? Forget it.
This. I think some women have no clue how expensive it is for guys to date.
Hell, two movie tickets and popcorn and sodas is about $40.
While it wouldn't kill the guy to splurge every once in a while, this girl sounds like a princess.
His stipend may not give him much spending money, if at all. Between living costs, we have VERY little left. To us, a splurge on the weekend literally means going hungry in the middle of the week.
My friend is currently dating a very nice guy, but she constantly complains that he always selects free events for them to attend. They visit various museums, and partake in site seeing excursions, but he never spends any direct money on her. She's not sleeping with him, but she still feels that he should buy her a gift or two and take her to a nice restaurant every once in a while.
I've advised her to leave him, but she seems reluctant, since he's so nice. Would you continue to date a nice guy who happened to be very frugal?
Tell your friend to "Seek first to understand."
There are all sorts of reasons he may be being frugal. My gosh, does she know ANYTHING about his financial situation or his life? If not, she apparently doesn't know him very well, and is therefore not at a stage in the relationship where she should feel "entitled to" gifts and having money spent on her.
Kudos to her for not sleeping with him though - it doesn't sound like they have a very deep relationship at this point so at least she's being "frugal" with sexual favors! Good on her!
My friend is currently dating a very nice guy, but she constantly complains that he always selects free events for them to attend. They visit various museums, and partake in site seeing excursions, but he never spends any direct money on her. She's not sleeping with him, but she still feels that he should buy her a gift or two and take her to a nice restaurant every once in a while.
I've advised her to leave him, but she seems reluctant, since he's so nice. Would you continue to date a nice guy who happened to be very frugal?
I would stop having selfish, indulged little princesses as friends.
Honestly, what a spoiled little cow expecting gifts and dinners. Does she buy him gifts and take him out for expensive meals?
I'm not frugal. But I respect that in a person, as long as it's not overboard. I don't care if a guy spends money on me as long as I'm having a good time - hell, I'm perfectly happy to do the spending. But generally, I buy what I want, and don't expect anyone to buy me anything. Life isn't about the cash and prizes, and anyone who gauges affection through material things is a bit off, in my view.
My answer with regard to dating a frugal guy would depend on the reasons for his frugality and its extent, like LM said.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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One thing I would ask this girl if I were dating her, how do you plan to spoil me on occasion? Men like to be spoiled too. Can I count on you leaning your head on my shoulder once in a while? Will you show up at my house for no other reason than wanting to spend an hour or two with me on a weeknight? Can I have you run your fingers over my head and neck sometime?
One thing I would ask this girl if I were dating her, how do you plan to spoil me on occasion? Men like to be spoiled too. Can I count on you leaning your head on my shoulder once in a while? Will you show up at my house for no other reason than wanting to spend an hour or two with me on a weeknight? Can I have you run your fingers over my head and neck sometime?
Frugal is not the same as cheap. People who are frugal understand value. Frugal people do not have a problem spending money if they feel they are getting good value for their dollars.
The guy is cheap. (I dated one of those between husbands). Your friend would be well advised to seek out another boyfriend because he is not going to change his ways. There are lots of nice, normal guys out there. Let him find a cheap woman to be happy with.
20yrsinBranson
I don't think he is 'cheap,' based on where he lives. He currently pays 1700/ month for his place.
Also, he is a professional attorney, therefore I imagine that he does have a lot of student loans.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilly1224
I don't think he is 'cheap,' based on where he lives. He currently pays 1700/ month for his place.
Also, he is a professional attorney, therefore I imagine that he does have a lot of student loans.
If he lives in a place like DC, 1700 may not fetch much to write home about. My roommate is in a top-tier DC law school now and has a balance of student loans over six figures.
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