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My friend is currently dating a very nice guy, but she constantly complains that he always selects free events for them to attend. They visit various museums, and partake in site seeing excursions, but he never spends any direct money on her. She's not sleeping with him, but she still feels that he should buy her a gift or two and take her to a nice restaurant every once in a while.
I've advised her to leave him, but she seems reluctant, since he's so nice. Would you continue to date a nice guy who happened to be very frugal?
My friend is currently dating a very nice guy, but she constantly complains that he always selects free events for them to attend. They visit various museums, and partake in site seeing excursions, but he never spends any direct money on her. She's not sleeping with him, but she still feels that he should buy her a gift or two and take her to a nice restaurant every once in a while.
I've advised her to leave him, but she seems reluctant, since he's so nice. Would you continue to date a nice guy who happened to be very frugal?
Why is he frugal?
Is he maybe putting himself through graduate school and has to budget every penny?
Does he have a lot of student loan debt and has little fun money to spare?
Is he supporting an elderly relative?
Does he give all his money away to charity and therefore lives very simply?
Being frugal can be a very good indicator of character. I would not discard a good man for being frugal if his reasons for frugality are justified.
My friend is currently dating a very nice guy, but she constantly complains that he always selects free events for them to attend. They visit various museums, and partake in site seeing excursions, but he never spends any direct money on her. She's not sleeping with him, but she still feels that he should buy her a gift or two and take her to a nice restaurant every once in a while.
I've advised her to leave him, but she seems reluctant, since he's so nice. Would you continue to date a nice guy who happened to be very frugal?
Why does he need to buy her gifts? Like Love said, there could be various reasons why the man is frugal. Your friend should inquire.
No. I can't stand someone like that. There's a fine line between saving and being cheap. I notice most men don't know the difference...I had an uncle like that and after awhile it becomes an annoyance: "no don't order that! it's too expensive" etc. etc. In which case I'd rather just pay for my own food or whatever and have peace of mind.
My friend is currently dating a very nice guy, but she constantly complains that he always selects free events for them to attend. They visit various museums, and partake in site seeing excursions, but he never spends any direct money on her. She's not sleeping with him, but she still feels that he should buy her a gift or two and take her to a nice restaurant every once in a while.
I've advised her to leave him, but she seems reluctant, since he's so nice. Would you continue to date a nice guy who happened to be very frugal?
Nope.
Typically, when a guy likes you, he wouldn't mind spending on you. Part of it is that he wants to impress you and make you happy. The other part is that it taps into their provider instinct.
Usually, when I hear about a guy not spending money on a girl, it usually doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship.
I mean, even teenagers as broke as they are, usually find a way to buy a burger and fries for their girlfriend. How much more a grown man???
I think more info is needed to make a good judgement call here - Like love asked, why is he frugal? It really does make a difference.
Doll Eyes also has a good point though - there is a fine line. I had a cousin who was married to a very "cheap" guy - he wasn't just frugal (which I don't have an issue with whatsoever) but completely absurdly cheap, to the point that no one really wanted to be around him because it became his identity and was so annoying.
I think being frugal is a good thing, being overly cheap isn't. I'd like to know what his reasons are for being frugal, and if it is or isn't actually just being plain cheap.
My friend is currently dating a very nice guy, but she constantly complains that he always selects free events for them to attend. They visit various museums, and partake in site seeing excursions, but he never spends any direct money on her. She's not sleeping with him, but she still feels that he should buy her a gift or two and take her to a nice restaurant every once in a while.
I've advised her to leave him, but she seems reluctant, since he's so nice. Would you continue to date a nice guy who happened to be very frugal?
Hmm! I agree with the nice meal every now and again but gifts for dating? Sounds shallow and entitled.
Having said that, I bought my wife a gift while we were on our first date BUT it was an all-day event and we'd already been friends for five years. Otherwise it wouldn't have occurred to me.
As for you, I wouldn't offer any advice. It could be wrong and is a slippery slope at best
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