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It's weird. I was engaged when I was in my early 20s, and now it seems like that happened to someone else. I saw him for the first time in more than a decade last week at the store and kind of looked at him like "I know that guy." A few minutes later it hit me: Duh! I was with him for two years.
So no, I feel nothing for him.
Another of my serious boyfriends is my best friend. We talk about each other's lives, relationships, etc. It kind of grosses me out now that we were sexually intimate because he's like a brother to me. I love him, but not like that.
My serious boyfriend from high school, to whom I was also engaged, has made a bit of a mess of his life. So for that I'm thankful that I dodged that train wreck.
My most recent ex before I met my SO? He's nuts and harasses me on occasion, even moved to the same town as me last year. All I wish for him, though, is that he finds peace and lets go of anger.
My former wife and I have three children, 29-39. We have always helped and reinforced each other in our relationship as parents and we have both learned, very happily, that parents are parents for life. Their needs and ours have changed and so have our relationships, but they know and we know how much we need each other. No I don't feel cold toward her at all.
My former wife and I have three children, 29-39. We have always helped and reinforced each other in our relationship as parents and we have both learned, very happily, that parents are parents for life. Their needs and ours have changed and so have our relationships, but they know and we know how much we need each other. No I don't feel cold toward her at all.
I'm a pretty independent guy. And though I really enjoy my friends, and have many of both sexes, I'm slow to commit to a relationship. But once I'm in, I'm in, and monogamous as can be.
While life's circumstances have cut several of my deep relationships short, my marriage lasted for a long time, and some following relationships lasted many years as well. But essentially, I'm a longer by occupation and disposition. I spend most of my life living and doing what I do alone, and I'm happy all by myself.
My ex and I divorced during a period of great financial and personal stress, and unlike many divorces, she did better far sooner than I. We had our divorce wars, for sure. But there came a point when I realized it was important to bury the hatchet, and I was going to have to be the one to do the the first shovelful, so I did. We are now quite remote, and our contacts are few and far between, but are peaceable and tolerable now. Most of it centers around our grown children.
Long after our breakup, I got into a long-distance relationship that lasted 7 years. For the first few, the difficulties of seeing each other were overcome by our mutual desire, but eventually, the great distance just grew increasingly tiresome, and our time together vs. our time apart grew wider and wider until it boiled down to only once or twice a year, and neither of us could resolve it. The ending wasn't pleasant for either of us, but we both had to let it go.
I don't know if I will ever marry again, but these days I'm seeing a very nice lady who lives across town. She's a widow, and well fixed, and I doubt either of us would ever be happy moving in with each other, but that's perfectly OK- we're pretty happy with things just as they are. The big bonus for both of us is we are both banjo players.
When it comes to sex, the worst sex I ever had was wonderful. But I never did like to fool around much just for the sex.
The thing I came to realize is: the most attractive thing to me is a woman's brain. I have always gone for smart women, even if they're as unstable as a peach orchard boar. I can tolerate some craziness as long as the lady keeps my mental interest in her going strong.
Looks have always been secondary to me, but intelligence always keeps me interested, entertained, and on my toes, and I already am quite familiar with all the rest. I enjoy the challenges an intelligent lady presents always.
Sure, I have feelings for her. And those feelings are of gratefulness that's she's no longer in my life. It's been a year and I think of her about twice a month, which is probably one time more than I would prefer. At this rate, memory of her will vaporize into a thin fog of transparent nothingness in anohter year of so.
Hate,
Anger,
Resentful of myself for being so stupid,
And, now ... I could care less ... I don't hate him, think about him much, miss him - I just don't care ... I hope he is somewhere happy and with someone. No one wants to be a lone forever.
And, my ex was a horrible human being- he was always lying to someone, cheating someone, stealing from someone and thought he was deserving of it .... He had someone rig his IRS taxes, and got back $10,000 one year. I almost fell over. He had a kid with a woman he never married, the woman had full custody, yet he claimed that kid fully. And, he never saw the kid - ever.
Regardless, I felt nothing but elation and happiness when me and my ex finally went our separate ways. He'd made my life so miserable in that last year we were together that I couldn't wait to move on. So I suppose I felt more than 'nothing' because I felt so, so happy
I'm pretty sure she missed your point, Jet.
It seems she equates "double negative" with "twice as bad", which maybe it is.
I truly loved the ex. Unfortunately I wasn't the best of husbands. Nor was she the best of wives. We had married while young, dumb and hormonal. But it lasted 25 years and we had five children - two sons then three daughters.
Eighteen years ago she left me. As it turned out she already had someone else in the wings. I divorced her. She then made a "career" of severely alienating my daughters from me. She also immediately married her boyfriend whom she'd already moved in with her and the girls. I was not pleased about any of it; especially the relentless alienation. She was downright evil.
Then her life began to fall apart. Three years later her husband was killed in a car accident. Child support was decreasing as the girls aged-up so she had to go to work at menial jobs to make up for it as well as rely on help from the children. Then she moved out of state with one son and his family. She was hit by a car and partially disabled. One-by-one the children had their fill of her, but for one, so her support network dried up. It also became evident she wasn't in her right mind. Finally it was determined that she had entered early-onset dementia at about age 48, and she's five years younger than I am so it was a bit of a shock.
Fast forward to today. She's been in a "memory loss" facility for about three years now with no reasonable expectation of ever getting out. The one daughter is now her guardian and sees her every several weeks. It's hardly a real life.
So, do I feel anything for her? Yes and no. I've known her since I was 6. I'm now 66. I also remarried 16 years ago and my wife is, thankfully, her polar opposite. I think it's fair to say that while I don't care for the ex at all I do care about her. After all, she is my childrens' mother for good or for ill.
Last edited by Curmudgeon; 09-29-2012 at 10:00 AM..
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