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Old 09-26-2012, 03:24 PM
 
4,380 posts, read 4,439,681 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smalltowngirl25 View Post
Usually I keep my interaction with him limited, but then sometimes he will ask if maybe we can do something if he can and nothing ever happens. It's just annoying now. I just don't know how to respond anymore.
If HE can. He's asking you to put plans on hold for him but has no respect for your time in return.

The last guy I dated was like this. He'd call at 5:00 on Friday to see if I wanted to do something that evening. He found out quickly that I was NOT sitting by the phone waiting for him to call and if he wanted to see me on Friday, he'd better have called no later than Wednesday.
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Old 09-26-2012, 03:25 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,320,098 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by smalltowngirl25 View Post
You know a guy who always says we can do this or that sometime, but then it never happens. He'll always say maybe we can go out Tuesday or Friday, but not if I have something I have to do(visit sister, sick relative, work, ect). Or if you do hang out, then he's texting the entire time. One particular guy I know in my life does this all the time. He'll ask to do something and then say he might not be able to do it. I have better things to do with my life than wait for people to decide if they want to see me or not. How can people be so insensitive? So why are guys like this and what do you do about them?
It's not just guys, it's people. Not every person, male or female does this. The only thing to do is move on and find someone that will have more respect for your time.

Now, every once in a while, it is okay. But if this is happening every time, then chances are,

A) This person does not really care enough to spend time with you (Most likely A, if he is texting the whole time while hanging out with you)

or

B) This person really has that much going on and is probably not in a good position to be hanging out.

Either way, it is messing with your time. You may want to let go of this one.
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Old 09-26-2012, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Central California
1,782 posts, read 2,219,405 times
Reputation: 1686
Quote:
Originally Posted by smalltowngirl25 View Post
You know a guy who always says we can do this or that sometime, but then it never happens. He'll always say maybe we can go out Tuesday or Friday, but not if I have something I have to do(visit sister, sick relative, work, ect). Or if you do hang out, then he's texting the entire time. One particular guy I know in my life does this all the time. He'll ask to do something and then say he might not be able to do it. I have better things to do with my life than wait for people to decide if they want to see me or not. How can people be so insensitive? So why are guys like this and what do you do about them?
All PEOPLE are like that if:

1) they're not really into you
2) they're trying to play it cool and not seem to interested
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Old 09-26-2012, 03:27 PM
 
2,076 posts, read 3,651,010 times
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I'm in the category that if he makes plans and keeps canceling then it's not so much interest but scheduling. Maybe he's pursuing someone else but he's still interested enough in you to:

waste time texting/scheduling/and then canceling.

He'd just end up ignoring you if he wasn't interested. MOST of the time.
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Old 09-26-2012, 03:42 PM
 
2,365 posts, read 2,831,241 times
Reputation: 3172
Quote:
Originally Posted by smalltowngirl25 View Post
You know a guy who always says we can do this or that sometime, but then it never happens. He'll always say maybe we can go out Tuesday or Friday, but not if I have something I have to do(visit sister, sick relative, work, ect). Or if you do hang out, then he's texting the entire time. One particular guy I know in my life does this all the time. He'll ask to do something and then say he might not be able to do it. I have better things to do with my life than wait for people to decide if they want to see me or not. How can people be so insensitive? So why are guys like this and what do you do about them?
Guys do that because women let them do it without getting upset. Call him out on his behavior & if he still continues it, dump him. You dont need to be patient with bad behavior. At the first signs of such disrespect, walk out. No explainations needed. They are showing you that you are not important to them & they are keeping you as a backup. Always have alternative plans if a date cuts short or cancels at the last minute. Dont be 'always' available to hang out. Stay busy with your work, hobbies, friends to occupy your time constructively. If you made other plans with friends, stick to them & tell the guy who asks you out at the last minute that you are busy doing something else. Dont tell them, but show them you have better things to do. Spend your time like you would spend money - cautiously. Dont waste it on people who dont value you or your time. If you dont receive the same amount of respect & attention you are giving them, just dump them & move on to something better.

Dont feel bad or think somethings wrong with you & thats why you are being treated this way. It happens to a LOT of women irrespective of their looks, status, age, etc. Treat what you have to offer as something valuable & not easily available & others will follow.

Read these books to recognize who is truly interested in you & who is just stringing you along:
'Why men love b**ches' by sherry argov,
'He's just not that into you' by Liz Tuccillo, Greg Behrendt
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Old 09-26-2012, 03:50 PM
 
2,076 posts, read 3,651,010 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asma410 View Post
'Why men love b**ches' by sherry argov,
news to me
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Old 09-26-2012, 03:58 PM
 
1,259 posts, read 1,832,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PosterExtraordinaire View Post
news to me
Lmao PE! I agree. Any man who wants a b:tch apparently is looking for a mommy, and I'm not it.
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Old 09-26-2012, 04:41 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,085,325 times
Reputation: 11796
Quote:
Originally Posted by asma410 View Post
Guys do that because women let them do it without getting upset. Call him out on his behavior & if he still continues it, dump him. You dont need to be patient with bad behavior. At the first signs of such disrespect, walk out. No explainations needed. They are showing you that you are not important to them & they are keeping you as a backup. Always have alternative plans if a date cuts short or cancels at the last minute. Dont be 'always' available to hang out. Stay busy with your work, hobbies, friends to occupy your time constructively. If you made other plans with friends, stick to them & tell the guy who asks you out at the last minute that you are busy doing something else. Dont tell them, but show them you have better things to do. Spend your time like you would spend money - cautiously. Dont waste it on people who dont value you or your time. If you dont receive the same amount of respect & attention you are giving them, just dump them & move on to something better.

Dont feel bad or think somethings wrong with you & thats why you are being treated this way. It happens to a LOT of women irrespective of their looks, status, age, etc. Treat what you have to offer as something valuable & not easily available & others will follow.

Read these books to recognize who is truly interested in you & who is just stringing you along:
'Why men love b**ches' by sherry argov,
'He's just not that into you' by Liz Tuccillo, Greg Behrendt
I think this is great advice. I've been that girl a LOT. The girl who lets the guy call at the last minute to hang out (when clearly he just waited to see what other options were available to him, none were, so hey why not call me) and is always available at a minute's notice when he wants to hang out. And then the girl who is ultimately crushed when the guy who behaves that way doesn't turn out to be Prince Charming and I get hurt and am left feeling badly about myself wondering why I wasn't good enough. Don't be that girl!
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Old 09-26-2012, 04:48 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,422,936 times
Reputation: 9548
what to do?
dont do anything, leave those men alone it wont get any better if you ever decide to actually make a relationship out of it.

stop trying to get them to want you
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Old 09-27-2012, 07:06 AM
 
2,365 posts, read 2,831,241 times
Reputation: 3172
Quote:
Originally Posted by FromTN2A2 View Post
Lmao PE! I agree. Any man who wants a b:tch apparently is looking for a mommy, and I'm not it.
I got the same impression from the title but when I read the book it explains that a b**ch is not someone who is mean or demanding/rude. It stands for Babe In Total Control of Herself. Someone who values her time & wont give in to manipulation. A master of her emotions & wont be treated with disrespect. She is classy, secure, confident & stands up for herself. Its a very well written book. Highly recommended for all women.
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