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Old 09-28-2012, 08:15 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,875,847 times
Reputation: 5946

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Well, my best friend is aggressively pursuing her plan to become, as she puts it, a "spinster." She's a vet by training, and when not working spends her day with her rescue animals, gardening, reading scientific research and writing or editing articles on related subject matter. Five animals in her house currently, not to mention the horses she rides at her parents' house. She doesn't like people, will never regret not having children and really has no interest in dating. She had two lengthy (and rather passionate) relationships with perfectly acceptable men, and simply decided being part of a couple wasn't for her. Not everyone is happiest doing the kids and family route. Heck, my bff is one of the happiest people I know.
I know other women exactly like her and they don't regret never marrying. I think society stereotypes that all women need marriage and we don't.

 
Old 09-28-2012, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,223,092 times
Reputation: 73924
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebel12 View Post
You still don't get it? Wow.
No, I get it.
You got no answer.
So you're deflecting, hedging...doing anything but giving us a direct answer.
Too funny.
Isn't a leader supposed to be able to stand up and face the tough questions?
Or do they do a nancy dance around the subject?

Well, I'm outtie on this thread.
Gotta get back to cleaning toilets or whatever it is I really do before feeding my army of cats.

Peace.
 
Old 09-28-2012, 08:19 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,875,847 times
Reputation: 5946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. GE View Post
I used the CEO phrase... but I did not compare husband's to CEO's. I would appreciate if you read all of the posts vs pulling out "sound bites" and forming an opinion on them. That's a sign of a bad Co-Leader... not understanding the facts and making decisions on bad information.

I did not say a man should be the leader unless it is deserved. And I listed what those characteristics were. None of those characteristics included him being a man.

Back to your concept of Co-Leaders... It is a great ideology, but it is not practical or functional. Someone... singular, has to make the final decision. In everything. It can be discussed, compromised, negotiated or whatever. But someone has to pull the trigger or push the button.

Ok then if someone has to be the person to make the final decisions then it must be me. However I really like co leading.
 
Old 09-28-2012, 08:22 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,875,847 times
Reputation: 5946
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Doesn't have to be the same person every time. The "decision maker" can vary with the situation. In my experience, the person who cares about the issue more generally takes the lead, and in situations where it comes down to a big decision, if one position is untenable to either member of the couple, it's either time for marriage counseling or the other person needs to give way.

On a big purchase that is not a necessity, if one member of the couple objects strongly, how could the other party violate their wishes in good conscience. Now maybe the objector is being unreasonable, but if that's the case, then there's something else that's wrong - the issue should be less about "submission" and more about why they're being irrational.

A child's health problem could be a major issue, but automatically ceding that power to one person could be just as much of a disaster.

I don't see at all where one person should have the "right" to pull the trigger and expect the other to just go along with their final decision, no matter how great or "worthy" a person they are.
That's exactly it, it should vary depending on the issue. If he's the stay at home dad he makes the home decisions and if I am I make the decisions. However if neither of us are stay at homes then we make the decision together.
 
Old 09-28-2012, 08:23 PM
 
2,920 posts, read 2,790,738 times
Reputation: 624
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
Ok then if someone has to be the person to make the final decisions then it must be me. However I really like co leading.
And that's exactly why you are undatable.
 
Old 09-28-2012, 08:24 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,875,847 times
Reputation: 5946
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebel12 View Post
And that's exactly why you are undatable.
No that's why I am undateable to freaks who expect me to submit to them. I find many men who don't expect me to be their assistant.
 
Old 09-28-2012, 08:31 PM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,688 posts, read 5,005,521 times
Reputation: 7588
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. GE View Post
But one of you does make the final decision whether you are aware of it or not... there is a difference between collaboration and making a final decision.

A simple example:

You: What movie are we going to see?
Husband: I want to see movie A...
You: I rather see movie B...
Husband: I don't want to see movie B
You: what about movie C?
Husband: ok...

In your mind that's both of you making the final decision huh?

In actuality its just collaborating... And one of you made the final decision... Do you know which one?

Here:




You're going to need a LOT more, at this rate.
 
Old 09-28-2012, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,688 posts, read 5,005,521 times
Reputation: 7588
Quote:
You: What movie are we going to see?
Husband: I want to see movie A...
You: I rather see movie B...
Husband: I don't want to see movie B
You: what about movie C?
Husband: ok...
You: What movie are we going to see?
Husband: I want to see movie A...
You: I rather see movie B...
Husband: I don't want to see movie B
You: what about movie C?
Husband: I'm not really interested in that. Let's see movie C tomorrow, okay?
You: Okay. What about tonight? I thought we'd be seeing a movie, so I brought this stuff in my purse.
Husband: How about we go to the park, drive up on top of the hill and look out over the city?
You: Okay...



UH-oh... you see what I did there, right? I took a Straw Man and put his head on backward! OH NOES!
 
Old 09-28-2012, 08:56 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,875,847 times
Reputation: 5946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
You: What movie are we going to see?
Husband: I want to see movie A...
You: I rather see movie B...
Husband: I don't want to see movie B
You: what about movie C?
Husband: I'm not really interested in that. Let's see movie C tomorrow, okay?
You: Okay. What about tonight? I thought we'd be seeing a movie, so I brought this stuff in my purse.
Husband: How about we go to the park, drive up on top of the hill and look out over the city?
You: Okay...



UH-oh... you see what I did there, right? I took a Straw Man and put his head on backward! OH NOES!
A man who expects to be leader:

Husband: I want to see movie A...
Wife: I rather see movie B...
Husband: I don't want to see movie B
Wife: what about movie C?
Husband: I want to see movie A and as the boss we will see it or else.
Wife: Yes dear you are the boss and you make the final decision.
 
Old 09-28-2012, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,652 posts, read 60,589,303 times
Reputation: 101051
The way things work in our house:

Husband: Honey, how 'bout a movie tonight?
Me: Great! What do you want to go see?
Husband: I don't know - what's playing?
Me: Mostly junk.
Husband: So what junk do you want to go see?
Me: NOT anything with that Van Diesel or whatever his name is.
Husband: Well, I don't want to see anything with subtitles.
Me: Wonder if there's anything out with Rowan Atkinson in it...
Husband: We've got the complete Black Adder collection at home - what'd we buy it for if we never watch it?
Me: OMG, that one with the thingie that's shaped like a turnip is hilarious!
Husband: "Death and destruction are stalking England like...two...great...stalking things...!"
(Both of us dissolve into hysterical laughter)
Husband: How 'bout we just go get a massage instead, and then go home and watch Black Adder?
Me: YOU DA MAN!
(High five!)
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