"Men should lead" - for real? (single, husband, family)
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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
Well, then, that raises the question of whether you'd marry someone you consider your subordinate. What do you WANT from a relationship? An equal partner or a backup singer?
I'd prefer the equal partner. I want to have that compromise in a relationship so that me and my SO leave the bargaining table with a deal that we are happy with. However, if I'm putting in most of the work into the relationship, I don't feel like an equal partner.
I disagree. I know plenty of women, including myself, who are excellent decision makers. I also know plenty of men who can't make up their mind.
You say it doesn't mean that a woman has to play a submissive role, but you also say that in the long run her decisions simply don't matter because the man is the head of the household and ultimately makes the final decision. How is a woman considered equal when her decisions don't matter? Her husband/man could just say 'that's cute darling' and make the decisions himself without really considering what she has to say.
There are plenty of women in leadership positions (business owners, CEOs, Politicians etc.) that are plenty good at making decisions.
Have ever met any of these women? Not very feminine at all.
Most of them seek men who will... submit.
Have ever met any of these women? Not very feminine at all.
Most of them seek men who will... submit.
This is all based on YOUR perception of what IS and is NOT feminine! WTH IS feminine? If you are female, you are feminine! Effeminate and feminine are two entirely different things IMO! Also, in my opinion, feminine IS decisive, strong, resillient, flexible. Of COURSE a woman expects a man to be intelligent enough to submit...when she's right! Who wants an arrogant a$$ who thinks he has to have the final say in everything, especially if he's wrong. Why should a man have a final say in something he knows nothing about?....has no experience in?....is supremely unqualified to even have an opinion on!?
This is all based on YOUR perception of what IS and is NOT feminine! WTH IS feminine? If you are female, you are feminine! Effeminate and feminine are two entirely different things IMO! Also, in my opinion, feminine IS decisive, strong, resillient, flexible. Of COURSE a woman expects a man to be intelligent enough to submit...when she's right! Who wants an arrogant a$$ who thinks he has to have the final say in everything, especially if he's wrong. Why should a man have a final say in something he knows nothing about?....has no experience in?....is supremely unqualified to even have an opinion on!?
This is all based on YOUR perception of what IS and is NOT feminine! WTH IS feminine? If you are female, you are feminine! Effeminate and feminine are two entirely different things IMO! Also, in my opinion, feminine IS decisive, strong, resillient, flexible. Of COURSE a woman expects a man to be intelligent enough to submit...when she's right! Who wants an arrogant a$$ who thinks he has to have the final say in everything, especially if he's wrong. Why should a man have a final say in something he knows nothing about?....has no experience in?....is supremely unqualified to even have an opinion on!?
Why does anyone have to lead? Why can't the relationship be a partnership? I think a lot of people are more concerned about having the last word and the upper hand, than being with someone in any form or fashion.
I would be fine with everything he said - except for the "submissive type woman". That phrase would make me question what he was looking for. I don't have too many issues with "traditional roles", but these days, how far back do you go to define "tradition"? I mean, my mom worked as long as I can remember. In fact she was the main breadwinner after we were in our teens. We always had a cleaning lady after that point too, so I see that as a bit traditional...and many other people don't. But dad was the "car guy", and mom was the "kitchen manager" . Totally depends on what he thinks "traditional" means. I'd have to ask him...I would be curious actually.
Agreed.
His mistake definitely was using the word "submissive", especially because I don't think that's exactly what he meant, but also because women view that word so negatively.
Why does anyone have to lead? Why can't the relationship be a partnership? I think a lot of people are more concerned about having the last word and the upper hand, than being with someone in any form or fashion.
Scoff, who wants that?*sarcasm* A real relationship? Haha
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That phrase would make me question what he was looking for. I don't have too many issues with "traditional roles", but these days, how far back do you go to define "tradition"? I mean, my mom worked as long as I can remember. In fact she was the main breadwinner after we were in our teens. We always had a cleaning lady after that point too, so I see that as a bit traditional...and many other people don't. But dad was the "car guy", and mom was the "kitchen manager" 
