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A conversation has to start somehow. How do you propose to approach someone you don't know, if not by making eye contact, smiling, and initiating a conversation? Those have always been the rules of dating.
Well how else are you going to get to know her?
Even when you're introduced to people there's still some flirting at the beginning to find out more about the other person. You don't just get introduced, and then BOOM, you're going out on a date. It's a process...known as flirting.
Really? I just call it conversing. Flirting is about suggestive eye contact and suggestive body language to go along with conversation. When I'm first introduced to anyone I don't do all of that suggestive stuff because it just comes off as creepy. I just talk to them like a regular human being.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smarterguy
This post answers the question completely.
Its not a confidence issue, its not insercurity, its a simple self preservation issue. Unless I know for sure a girl is single and looking to be approached, I will not. Haha, there have been times I have thrown caution to the wind and approached girls who I normally (circumstantially) wouldn't, but in hind sight, it was really stupid.
^^^^
This, but people who are natural flirts will never get that some people (specifically men) just don't know how to flirt and don't want to make themselves look like fools doing so. It doesn't mean that they are inferior specimen or anything like that, it just means they don't know how to flirt.
Thinking about approaching, but that was back in the day. I was THAT paranoid. But then again, I didn't look half as good as I do now. (heavier, pillsbury doughboy-faced)
The goal of becoming intimate by using various techniques like kindness, being sassy but in a positive way (positve teasing), showing interest but also maybe some disinterest (mysterious). Body language, certain touching, choice of words and topics.
Here is where you have it wrong. Flirts, flirt with people of all genders. Flirting is generally "playful conversation."
Does a flirty 5 year old have the goal of getting intimate with their target? No way. Flirting is one of the many tools that is used to get to know someone and get their attention. IT certainly isn't the only one, and only used in romantic situations.
I live in a very large, dense city, where there would ideally be numerous chances to meet women while out in the street or on the train. However, most women have all defenses up when outside. If anyone approaches them, they automatically think "stranger danger", or believe the guy is trying to hustle her for something.
Which can be understandable, after having 20 people ask you for money, fundraisers wanting signatures, crazy people just being crazy, it's easier to block EVERYTHING out.
However, this carries on to grocery stores, etc. which is not good. I've also noticed a large number of women with earbuds in everywhere. Shopping, coffee, library, park!
Hell, I have my defenses up, and I'm a guy. There are quite a few predators out there and it's gotten to the point where some men become targets. I've had some dude trying to get him some from me. (Bugging my friends and other acquaintances in order to find out where I stay. Showing up everywhere I go. It was a little annoying at first and then he said something really sick which damn near sent me over the edge. He wanted to do some jailhouse activity)
So I can understand the need to have your guard up...
Really? I just call it conversing. Flirting is about suggestive eye contact and body language to go along with conversation. When I'm first introduced to anyone I don't do all of that suggestive stuff because it just comes off as creepy. I just talk to them like a regular human being.
Conversing is fine. What I'm saying is that it usually never even gets to that level.
This is the typical scenario:
I'm somewhere minding my own business, and out of the corner of my eye I see a man looking at me. I find him attractive. I continue doing what I'm doing. He's still looking at me. I look over at him. He smiles and I smile back. He keeps looking.
Here is where you have it wrong. Flirts, flirt with people of all genders. Flirting is generally "playful conversation."
Does a flirty 5 year old have the goal of getting intimate with their target? No way. Flirting is one of the many tools that is used to get to know someone and get their attention. IT certainly isn't the only one, and only used in romantic situations.
LOL, ah no! Heterosexual Men don't "flirt" with other men. See that's what I mean, men and women have different definitions of flirting.
Hell, I have my defenses up, and I'm a guy. There are quite a few predators out there and it's gotten to the point where some men become targets. I've had some dude trying to get him some from me. (Bugging my friends and other acquaintances in order to find out where I stay. Showing up everywhere I go. It was a little annoying at first and then he said something really sick which damn near sent me over the edge. He wanted to do some jailhouse activity)
So I can understand the need to have your guard up...
Conversing is fine. What I'm saying is that it usually never even gets to that level.
This is the typical scenario:
I'm somewhere minding my own business, and out of the corner of my eye I see a man looking at me. I find him attractive. I continue doing what I'm doing. He's still looking at me. I look over at him. He smiles and I smile back. He keeps looking.
I don't know about you, but most men don't take it to the next level, which is to start a conversation.
That sounds like me, but I don't think just because a women smiles at me she's flirting. She's going to have to do more than just smile and say hi for me to consider it flirting.
Here is where you have it wrong. Flirts, flirt with people of all genders. Flirting is generally "playful conversation."
Does a flirty 5 year old have the goal of getting intimate with their target? No way. Flirting is one of the many tools that is used to get to know someone and get their attention. IT certainly isn't the only one, and only used in romantic situations.
I think you have it wrong. Flirting is reserved for creating tension for attraction or expressing attraction. I don't and never will flirt with other men.
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