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I haven't lost it. I've abandoned it. I find it childish. But then again, in this day and age, I find most people's conception of a relationship childish.
I've noticed that a lot of men don't seem to know how to show their interest in a woman. They are either too passive and fearful, or too obnoxious and in your face.
I find it so frustrating meeting men who seem like they have no idea how to approach a woman in a respectful way to let her know that he is interested in getting to know her. It's so hard to meet people, and some men say that they'd welcome a woman initiating contact with them. So I've tried this, but I'm finding that it doesn't work. Most men do not respond appropriately.
Sometimes I will spot a man whom I find attractive, who's not wearing a wedding ring (not that means anything, but it's a start), and smile and say hello, hoping to initiate a pleasant conversation. Most men seem to fall into one of two camps, 1) the majority who seem unable to seize the opportunity and conduct a normal conversation that leads to an exchange of phone numbers, or 2) the rest who respond in an obnoxious way, glancing at my chest, and dropping sexual hints.
Years ago, men had no problem approaching women respectfully, talking to them, and asking them out for a date.
What is going on nowadays? It was never this complicated 25-30 years ago. What happened to the simple art of flirting? In the past that was how you met each other if there was no one to introduce you.
Where is the middle ground between showing interest and being obnoxious? Last thing a down to earth guy wants is to come off as creepy, so we err on the side of passive. I think that fine line between the two also varies DRASTICALLY from woman to woman. Who wants to deal with that?
I think some of the men that you've tried to initiate contact with are either unavailable or they are so stunned by your unexpected behavior they don't know what to do (I've certainly been in this position before and didn't realize until after the fact). I'd urge you to keep doing it, but now you get a feel for what it's like in the guy position....do you really think women act so differently when guys approach them? It's a need-in-a-haystack crapshoot when approaching strangers in public.
Years ago, people got married very young, didn't have social media over-inflating their expectations, and the word "creepy" wasn't even invented yet.
The internet happened. The world has changed. No more social awkwardness, no more wasting time asking out women whom you know nothing about, let alone if they're even available (I used to run into connecting with and asking out women who are not single, it was so frustrating). Now you can find someone who is a potential match based on what you're looking for, find someone near you geographically, and is single and actively interested in a relationship. That's why I turned to it, I got sick of pursuing women only to find out they weren't available, literally or emotionally. So I knew at least with online dating there was a 90% chance they were single and want a relationship. No more wasting my time (in that respect, there's other arguments I could make for online dating being a time waster though).
This post is like asking why people don't write letters to each other anymore....because it's an inefficient and soon to be obsolete practice. The world is always changing, and technology is changing it faster. You can complain all you want but you will have to adapt if you want to get anywhere in this world.
I know....women just clap their hands and the men come running.
Or in the case of that post, women can be hermits and never leave the house or speak to anyone and can still be knee-deep in sausage. That's how it works, right?
I've probably given an answer to this somewhere in this thread, but I'll answer it again.
I don't think men have lost the art of flirting. I think the art of flirting has changed.
That is an interesting take..... I do think that many people can't flirt anymore when the situation warrants it. Maybe people just like to get to the point? People are so much more direct these days. It is kinda like, you always have to have a goal, or want something to engage in a conversation. You can't go into it to just enjoy the conversation.
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