Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Now I'm trying to "change" you? . I guess when you're simply wrong, the next step is to vicitimize yourself; that way you can always legitimize your original responses regardless of how lopsided it is.
Outside of that, I see logic isn't your strongest suit. As soon as you discontinue making this out as a personal attack on your deficiencies, the sooner we can continue this discussion.
Other than that, thanks
Who is a victim? I love my life, and am dating a MAN. I dont have to ask out betas, so life is good.
You need to sell your beta male "ask me out" song and dance to a woman who is desperate. Sorry, that aint me!
I disagree, I think the decision to leave the pursuing (ie risk taking ) is guided by fear and is what primarily fuels your motivation as to whether or not you would actually a approach a male for a romantic relationship. No offense, but unless you have the man of your 'dreams' (however you choose to define that) I think that it's really a situation for most women like yourself who are willing to 'settle' and accept the men that can catch them rather than making the effort, risking rejection and going after the very men that they prefer.
Now unless your behavior is consistent in all venues of your life such job recruitment, romantic relationships, friends etc...and you 're allowing everyone to chase you for everything...it just doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense to single out this one aspect of your life and demand to be 'chased.'
As for the OP my opinion remains as is...if you want something...then go get it. I carry that opinion of just about everyone pertaining to anything. If you want a specific job or a specific mate--put your first foot forward and go get it.
I've never really approached men because there have always been plenty of good ones approaching me. So in my case, it's not fear of rejection, settling, or anything like that. Just logistics. However, if I were free and met someone I really liked, then I'd ask him out, especially if it's a situation where it's "ask now or forever hold your peace," like we ran into each other in a bookstore or some random thing like that where you have a limited amount of time to take your shot.
Who is a victim? I love my life, and am dating a MAN. I dont have to ask out betas, so life is good.
You need to sell your beta male "ask me out" song and dance to a woman who is desperate. Sorry, that aint me!
If you love your life so much why must put down others and get defensive to people have different opinions. A guy not asking women out, like having women ask him out or not care either would not bother you and you would not have to resort to shallow insults like "beta male".
I've never really approached men because there have always been plenty of good ones approaching me. So in my case, it's not fear of rejection, settling, or anything like that. Just logistics. However, if I were free and met someone I really liked, then I'd ask him out, especially if it's a situation where it's "ask now or forever hold your peace," like we ran into each other in a bookstore or some random thing like that where you have a limited amount of time to take your shot.
And that's exactly my point. Being approached and approaching isn't an either/or situation. You can have it both ways. I just think it's more of a disservice when you have other women who are guided by fear attempting to shame other women for doing what they are too scared to do. If a woman ( or man) is that attracted to someone--then there's no harm in making it happen. IMO it's better to do that than to wonder "what if" or to second guess your attractiveness to the man/woman that you wanted just because they didn't chase you down first.
My advice to the OP (if she hasn't already) that if she really wants the guy--and she feels comfortable enough, then just initiate the conversation. That doesn't mean that she has to literrally throw herself at him or be ultra aggressive, but play the hand and see where it goes. That way, if it doesn't happen, she'll have no doubt that the effort was made.
If you love your life so much why must put down others and get defensive to people have different opinions. A guy not asking women out, like having women ask him out or not care either would not bother you and you would not have to resort to shallow insults like "beta male".
I swear I've never heard the terms "Alpha' and "Beta" until I came to this very forum, and it stll only exists in this forum. I've only associated these terms with apes.
I think they are terms used by shallow people, and it's nothing more than that.
what if the guy you like never comes around to asking you out?
just move on?
I know you already asked him to hang out, but to answer the general question- if you've dropped hints and flirted with him and he still doesn't ask you out, I would probably move on. I can't recall ever asking a guy out, but I don't think there's anything wrong with doing so. If I felt that we were well enough acquainted, I might consider it, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't really know him.
Man, there are some lucky ladies on this forum who just have to sit around and choose from the best guy that asks them out.
If I did that...well, I've only had two boyfriends in my life and I initiated both of those relationships
I really don't like the whole "Women should wait for men to ask them out." I understand the thought process behind it, but I'm an only child and I'd prefer to get what I really want as opposed to what wants me. I think men are lucky in that they're expected to do the pursuing. At least (ideally) they would be ending up with who they really wanted and not just "settling" for someone.
I swear I've never heard the terms "Alpha' and "Beta" until I came to this very forum, and it stll only exists in this forum. I've only associated these terms with apes.
I think they are terms used by shallow people, and it's nothing more than that.
Same here. I knew what "alpha male" would imply because I know the concept through reading about wolves. But this whole "beta" man and PUA and "game" and all of that crap, I had to go and look up after reading about it here. Seems juvenile to me.
And that's exactly my point. Being approached and approaching isn't an either/or situation. You can have it both ways. I just think it's more of a disservice when you have other women who are guided by fear attempting to shame other women for doing what they are too scared to do. If a woman ( or man) is that attracted to someone--then there's no harm in making it happen. IMO it's better to do that than to wonder "what if" or to second guess your attractiveness to the man/woman that you wanted just because they didn't chase you down first.
This is how I feel about the situation. It we are chatting and getting along well, it isn't going to kill me to say, "hey do you want to meet up sometime for drinks" if it is someone I connected with and make it blatantly obvious I am open to meeting up. After that, the ball is in his court. Some people need slightly more direct tosses than others.
I like "alphas" and "non-alphas" provided we have common interests. Sometimes my ideal person isn't very forward. And many times my non-ideals are super forward. I like to even up the odds for myself instead of waiting around.
It is a totally different ballgame if it is someone you see all the time, then you need to wait for a few more signs.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.