When your academic record is less impressive than your desired person...

[jobaba]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

I have been trying to get to know a girl I have a thing for a little better ever since I've moved back to Virginia. Yesterday I seized an opportunity to talk to her along with friends for an hour (I missed most of a good game of my Panthers so you know I was committed). The conversation kind of takes a turn to where she discussed her academic record. The girl has two bachelor's degrees and is going for a master's in a specialized subject, got accepted into prestigious colleges and she is very intelligent in the academic realm. She is also looking to work in a very advanced field.

Now as for the D's academic record. It may impress someone in my previous residence in Louisville, KY. Probably won't blow anyone's mind here in Washington, DC. I do have a Bachelor's degree. However you can debate if my major of Business Management is a soft skill major or not. My school is not one most people will hear of, unless you are closely affiliated with the military. My GPA has never been the best. I likely won't consider going for a master's degree. If I do ever decide on furthering my education it would likely be to gain IT certifications or a graduate certificate. I work in a field that is more accessible to the common person which is banking/finance.

Don't get me wrong. I believe getting my degree was a major accomplishment. Mainly because I grew up in an environment where that was not common. I'm the first on my dead dad's side of the family to get a Bachelor's degree and one of only a few on my mother's side to get one. It is also a major accomplishment for an African-American male from my hometown in Southern Virginia.

I honestly want a woman who has the smarts to make a good living. I believe it is a good thing that women are getting degrees in hard subjects. However in this case I may feel inferior because I feel intimidated by her academic accomplishments. I feel wrong for feeling possibly intimidated and insecure but it is what it is. I don't think the male always has to be more academically accomplished than the woman. I doubt this girl would ever throw it in my face that I am academically less accomplished because I think she has class and a good heart.

Question: Am I wrong for feeling my academic record in comparison to hers is going to be too much for me to handle?

Looks mean a lot more than any dinky degrees you have ... UNLESS those degrees help you earn money.

A woman will pick a man she has physical attraction to with a lesser level of education over a man she has lukewarm attraction to with the same or better education.

Now ... if the woman is physically attracted to you and you are competing against other men who she is equally physically attracted to whom have better education that you, then you might be in a pickle.

But I have never been in that situation...

[LePew]

Generally people go for those with similar educational levels, so there must be some importance to this. It may not be the degree itself, but the correlation between the degree and other characteristics, such as needing a certain level of intelligence to complete a degree, increased employment prospects, higher income and showing you can follow through.

But people go through college, typically from 18-24 yrs old. Someone who did not get a degree or an advanced degree, may have accomplished a lot between 18 and now. Someone who puts efforts in to learning on their own and non academic accomplishments can be much more intelligent and interesting than someone who simply jumped through the hoops from 18-24.