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Asian women tend to gravitate towards either white men or asian men. Very few will ever date a black or hispanic. They will look but won't touch. Too bad because they don't know what they are missing.
I am currently living in Jersey (2 years) and have never seen as much segregation as I have in my life. There are definitley interracial couples here, but for the most part people tend to stay with their own race of people. They eat together, live together,date within, and rarely go outside of that group.
I don't get offended when I run into behavior such as the original poster described. If a person doesn't want you because of your race then take it as them doing you a favor.
As for me...I am fascinated by ALL races of women. I am a great catch and am not going to limit myself to just my own race.
Interesting, because I have noticed this about New Jersey as well. I have a friend who is drop dead gorgeous (and very smart) who had trouble dating when she lived in NJ. And when I used to go visit her, I also noticed that men of other races didn't check me out as they do everywhere else in the country that I have been. It felt so weird to me.
There's nothing wrong with rejecting someone because of their race. People can't help what they like, but actually telling that person that their race is the reason you won't date them just shows an utter lack of class.
I totally agree, my Houston friend. It's a tough situation to be in. You may have developed a coffee or lunch rapport with someone you work with, and they start to like you, but you are not attracted to their ethnicity or race. You have to distance yourself somehow. You do so slowly. Generally, they get the idea, but they know it was the demographics that were the deal breaker.
It has made me much more cautious and averse to coffee friendships with women I'm not interested in. It's because I don't want to then worm my way out of it.
Interesting, because I have noticed this about New Jersey as well. I have a friend who is drop dead gorgeous (and very smart) who had trouble dating when she lived in NJ. And when I used to go visit her, I also noticed that men of other races didn't check me out as they do everywhere else in the country that I have been. It felt so weird to me.
Hey Calipoppy,
Trust me. The issue is not with you or your friend (whom I wish I had met while she was here). It's Jersey. Not sure why people here are so closed to the idea of dating outside of their own race let alone making friends with people of other races. I have live in the south but never on the West Coast. Would love to hear about your experiences there?
I know I am late in responding to this question, but I was drawn to it based on my recent experiences. I am a black woman, recently divorced after being not so recently separated from my ex. After a move from Detroit, MI to AZ (creating a sudden loss of a familiar social group) and divorce (causing a need to go back on the market...lol) I tried online dating. While on this particular free site I have come across many WM who will not respond to me, or have responded with "oh hell naw" and "I don't date black chicks"...too which I say if that is your preference I would prefer you be straight with it. I will admit I was insulted by the lack of maturity on the part of the man who left the first response, but you like who you like.
The problem IMO with those who discriminate based on race is how deeply the prejudice runs. If you are just not physically attracted to another race, so be it. I cannot speak for other races because I am not one of them, but as a black person in a predominantly white area (which I am totally comfortable in) it just makes me wonder how many white people have this unspoken dislike/hatred for a person of my color.
Now, I say all that not to say that "all white people are racist" or "WM just don't date BW" because I know that is not the case. I have met WM that only date BW. But to those who have compared exclusion based on race as benign as exclusion based on any other physical factor, I disagree.
While I am 5'10" and have dated men as short as 5'6", I do have physical preferences (though very very few). While people may exclude others from their list of "prospects" based on age, weight, height, looks, religion, etc., those reasons for exclusion do not have the history of violence, oppression and hostility that race does. While some may say religion does (and that may be true), religious differences can cause turmoil in a household when it comes to those of different faiths that are devout followers, especially when you want to have children.
So this is my take on it... I have to have a physical/sexual attraction to the man I am pursing/dating period. Otherwise one of us will get bored of the other REAL QUICK!
I have never really been superficial but I do like for a man to have decent teeth, I never said they had to be his own. If you only have 3 left...get them pulled and get some dentures, problem solved.
You don't have to have a head full of hair, but if you are balding and receding...please don't have long hair that you want to cornrow or put in a ponytail...just cut it all off, problem solved.
Your weight can be changed, where you live can be changed, certain looks can be changed, and so for the most part I don't dismiss people for those reasons but if I happen to not be attracted to someone based on something they couldn't change I would be honest (nicely) about it. Though people can change religions, that is not a choice for many followers and there is no sense starting a relationship that you know will cause problems later. People cannot change their race/ethnicity and outside of just the physical features common to a race that just turns someone off (like big butts/noses/lips...whatever) I personally don't see how that could affect the relationship of two adults whose only concern are each others' happiness.
I will add that I am in no way upset at those that rejected me based on my ethnicity because I agree with the previous posters...I have saved time/energy by not wasting it on them. There is someone out there for me and if "the perfect man for me" is never introduced to me, it will not be because of narrowmindedness on my part, especially because of something as insignificant as race.
I apologize for the long (and all over the place) response, but I just wanted to answer the OPs question...well, at the very least say hey, I deal with it too.
Oh...and no, I am not an uneducated, poor, overweight, toothless, unattractive woman with 5 kids that just can't find a man, just in case the sh*t starters in this thread were wondering.
She is a good role model for AA's. She use to be darker though.
My Grandmother was much darker in photos than she was in real life. I would say it has more to do with lighting when a photo is taken and possibly the quality of the film or camera.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Info Guy
There are Middle-Eastern and Indian Christian men.
Yes, majoirty of Whites are overweight but percentage wise Hispanics/Blacks.
Sometimes hard numbers are more important than percentages, unless you have an agenda.
Last edited by trishguard; 10-08-2012 at 06:38 AM..
Yep I get rejected all the time. It use to bother me, but I know I'm a sex mofo. I find if a woman rejects me when I'm grandmaster of sexual pleasure in the bed, they're really doing themselves a dis service. Like really, I'm not kidding, have made every woman just shake in pleasure. It's what I do well, I'm kind of a doctor at this stuff. So any woman who would even bother to reject me clearly must be stupid or gay anyway. That's how I look at it. Kind of hard for me, of all people to feel bad about it, since I'm had a kind of unfair and ridiculous amount of sex appeal. Actually I kind of admire the woman who could reject me, it must take a lot for her to know in the back of her mind she's passing up such a good thing.
Oh well, dumb women, they're out there. what are you gonna do?
So, your biggest asset as a human being is your sexual skill? Maybe they don't want to date you because you have no depth.
Asian women tend to gravitate towards either white men or asian men. Very few will ever date a black or hispanic. They will look but won't touch. Too bad because they don't know what they are missing.
I am currently living in Jersey (2 years) and have never seen as much segregation as I have in my life. There are definitley interracial couples here, but for the most part people tend to stay with their own race of people. They eat together, live together,date within, and rarely go outside of that group.
I don't get offended when I run into behavior such as the original poster described. If a person doesn't want you because of your race then take it as them doing you a favor.
As for me...I am fascinated by ALL races of women. I am a great catch and am not going to limit myself to just my own race.
Lived in Nj all my life....
What you say isn't true. Nj segregates more by class than race.
Plus,you have to remember that we have lots of recent immigrants who bring their prejudices with them.
So,Indians are concentraated in Edison,blacks in Newark,Italians in Nutley,and Jews in Lakewood.
To go a step farther,people rarely even date other cultures. Italians stick with Italians,Jews with Jews,etc.
You really shouldn't be having this issue in AZ. I am approached by White and Hispanic (on rare occasion Native American) men all of the time here in AZ. Actually far more often then by Black men (which I find weird).
I am going to say something that I may (or may not) be bashed for saying but, I don't believe that online dating is the best method for Black women looking for love or companionship. The reason that I say this is because many guys who would meet you in person and find a connection with you would have been highly likely to screen you out on a dating site. Online dating is geared towards men (and women) ticking off boxes on their perfect mate shopping list vs seeking people with whom they would have a real connection based on their true selves. So if a guy only wants to date blondes, he most likely is not going to pick you...even though you may a perfect match for him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1rarejewel
I know I am late in responding to this question, but I was drawn to it based on my recent experiences. I am a black woman, recently divorced after being not so recently separated from my ex. After a move from Detroit, MI to AZ (creating a sudden loss of a familiar social group) and divorce (causing a need to go back on the market...lol) I tried online dating. While on this particular free site I have come across many WM who will not respond to me, or have responded with "oh hell naw" and "I don't date black chicks"...too which I say if that is your preference I would prefer you be straight with it. I will admit I was insulted by the lack of maturity on the part of the man who left the first response, but you like who you like.
The problem IMO with those who discriminate based on race is how deeply the prejudice runs. If you are just not physically attracted to another race, so be it. I cannot speak for other races because I am not one of them, but as a black person in a predominantly white area (which I am totally comfortable in) it just makes me wonder how many white people have this unspoken dislike/hatred for a person of my color.
Now, I say all that not to say that "all white people are racist" or "WM just don't date BW" because I know that is not the case. I have met WM that only date BW. But to those who have compared exclusion based on race as benign as exclusion based on any other physical factor, I disagree.
While I am 5'10" and have dated men as short as 5'6", I do have physical preferences (though very very few). While people may exclude others from their list of "prospects" based on age, weight, height, looks, religion, etc., those reasons for exclusion do not have the history of violence, oppression and hostility that race does. While some may say religion does (and that may be true), religious differences can cause turmoil in a household when it comes to those of different faiths that are devout followers, especially when you want to have children.
So this is my take on it... I have to have a physical/sexual attraction to the man I am pursing/dating period. Otherwise one of us will get bored of the other REAL QUICK!
I have never really been superficial but I do like for a man to have decent teeth, I never said they had to be his own. If you only have 3 left...get them pulled and get some dentures, problem solved.
You don't have to have a head full of hair, but if you are balding and receding...please don't have long hair that you want to cornrow or put in a ponytail...just cut it all off, problem solved.
Your weight can be changed, where you live can be changed, certain looks can be changed, and so for the most part I don't dismiss people for those reasons but if I happen to not be attracted to someone based on something they couldn't change I would be honest (nicely) about it. Though people can change religions, that is not a choice for many followers and there is no sense starting a relationship that you know will cause problems later. People cannot change their race/ethnicity and outside of just the physical features common to a race that just turns someone off (like big butts/noses/lips...whatever) I personally don't see how that could affect the relationship of two adults whose only concern are each others' happiness.
I will add that I am in no way upset at those that rejected me based on my ethnicity because I agree with the previous posters...I have saved time/energy by not wasting it on them. There is someone out there for me and if "the perfect man for me" is never introduced to me, it will not be because of narrowmindedness on my part, especially because of something as insignificant as race.
I apologize for the long (and all over the place) response, but I just wanted to answer the OPs question...well, at the very least say hey, I deal with it too.
Oh...and no, I am not an uneducated, poor, overweight, toothless, unattractive woman with 5 kids that just can't find a man, just in case the sh*t starters in this thread were wondering.
Lived in Nj all my life.... What you say isn't true. Nj segregates more by class than race.
Plus,you have to remember that we have lots of recent immigrants who bring their prejudices with them. So,Indians are concentraated in Edison,blacks in Newark,Italians in Nutley,and Jews in Lakewood. To go a step farther,people rarely even date other cultures. Italians stick with Italians,Jews with Jews,etc.
You said in the first sentence "NJ segragates more by class", and the last 2 sentences you give examples of groups that stick together with out regard to class.
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