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Old 10-02-2012, 12:44 PM
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 19,450,376 times
Reputation: 11705


True, not all women are interested in shorter men. That doesn't mean there are no women who are interested in shorter men. Just like women vary on levels of attraction towards various other traits.

I know plenty of shorter guys who get women.

Don't let your height be a chip on your shoulder... a chip there could be very unattractive.
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Old 10-02-2012, 12:46 PM
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 9,951,134 times
Reputation: 11782
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
Even if you were divorced, you wouldn't be single, IMO - you'd be divorced. Right now, you are at best separated, and even that is a little questionnable unless one of you has filed for divorce or divorce is clearly the intent and known to both of you. You give no details - for all I know, your spouse could be deployed to Afghanistan and you haven't "lived" together for six months.

However, in no way would you be single. Single to most people implies never married, and to many if not most people, a previous marriage is information they want to know about.
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
To me, there is one, and only one, definition for being single, and it's the traditional one:

A person who has never been married. Period.

Widowed, divorced and separated are not single. This is another pop culture construct to facilitate dating, from what I can tell.
Are you serious? If you're not married then you're single. When people ask me my relationship status I don't say divorced. I'm single.
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Old 10-02-2012, 12:50 PM
15,013 posts, read 21,267,495 times
Reputation: 12329
Yeah, I consider divorced and widowed to be different types of single but still single nonetheless. I don't consider separated to be single.

Any type of single can still be a problem if their heart still belongs to their ex or they're stuck in the past though. In other words, someone may technically be single but they're not emotionally single.

Last edited by srjth; 10-02-2012 at 01:24 PM..
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Old 10-03-2012, 12:09 AM
16,488 posts, read 24,125,540 times
Reputation: 16335
If she is not legally divorced from her ex then she is not single.
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Old 10-03-2012, 01:14 PM
26,142 posts, read 30,739,909 times
Reputation: 27227
On a literal level you are single until you're married on an emotional level there are various levels. Please check one.


___Yes, 100%

____Yes, but waiting until the kids turn 18 then I'm divorcing his or her ass

____Yes, but dating on the side

____Not quite divorced but available

____Seperated but dating

____We're signing the papers sometime this month and I've been seeing this other girl/guy for a year now.


___Not seeing or sleeping with anyone at the moment and my friends think there is something wrong with me.

___In A relationship

___Living together

___Sort of - it's been 6 months, we haven't said I love you or anything, but I know I'm the only person he/she is seeing.

___Not sure, but maybe. There was this one night in Vegas.....

____I hope we're in a relationship - and if not I know we will be after I read this thread.

____Hey, man I just slept with her a couple times no big deal, (even though I call/text her everyday)

____ We went out a couple times and I think I'm going to score tonight.

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Old 10-03-2012, 10:45 PM
1,841 posts, read 3,129,090 times
Reputation: 2509
Directed towards the OP….

As one poster stated even though you are divorced you are still not considered “single” but divorced.

As a person whom has yet to be divorced and have been separated from their spouse for 6 months? You are separated period, no ways around it.

As I was informed during MY divorce proceedings when everything was discussed, money, property and so forth? Before the judge made his ruling he stated this “Okay, you are both now divorced and free to date and do as you please.”
Mind you we had been going through our divorce since August of 2005 and it was now Dec 11, 2005. And my ex husband? Had been residing with his technical “mistress” since the day he left which was June 25, 2005, so no, he was not single not at all.

I have heard some posters state that they dated men that had been in the process of divorce and it has worked, well they are lucky, because are those women who have been duped by men going through the process as well that were not looking for anything serious since they were just getting out of a divorce as well as returned to their spouses.

I have written a thread regarding a close friend of mine here on CD regarding this very specific issue. Where the guy she was dating and stated things like “I could see me falling for you” Spoiling her, buying her things, spending time on her ended up going back to his wife!
Even after I told her he had not been separated from his wife long enough to even think about another relationship.
He stated the same things one does in this position “The relationship had been dead for a long time, the sex was not great, I needed more”
Only to turn around on a visit to see his children for the first time in 9 months after leaving the home..And come back a different man?
All of a sudden he was not ready for a relationship/ He did not even call my girlfriend during the trip or on his way back, she had to contact him,
He stated he was not that “guy” Really?

IN ALL fairness? I told my dear friend that even though he sounded great and was a nice guy, he was not ready for a relationship since he was still very angry about the split, spoke badly of his spouse, stated songs that reminded him of her ( Song by Bruno Mars, Grenade) I saw the red flags and she chose to over look them in hopes that he was the one!

He put himself on a dating website without knowing if dating and getting into a relationship was the thing he wanted or just needed to want at the time…
That was his mistake, my friend had choices and counsel and she chose to overlook it.
SO ….no, I believe you are married until you are completely divorced.
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Old 10-04-2012, 12:27 AM
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,216 posts, read 99,254,879 times
Reputation: 40185
Originally Posted by lifesprecious09 View Post
if she/he hasn't lived with their spouse in 6 months??
Uh, not unless the divorce is finalized.
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:30 AM
3,636 posts, read 3,354,159 times
Reputation: 4319
What has living with someone or time got to do with it? Location is nothing to do with it as many couples live continents apart. Time has nothing much to do with it either - why 6 months? Why not 7? 5? 3 weeks? 4 years?

You are "single" when your path in life is no longer committed to, and enjoined with, that of someone elses. Location and time apart has nothing to do with it.
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:34 AM
Location: Chicago
38,706 posts, read 101,354,220 times
Reputation: 29942
Originally Posted by lifesprecious09 View Post
if she/he hasn't lived with their spouse in 6 months??
Considered single by whom?
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Old 10-04-2012, 05:53 AM
Location: Central North Carolina
1,335 posts, read 3,106,753 times
Reputation: 2138
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
You should tell the truth to anyone you date, that you are seperated. No ifs ands or butts. Give the.other person the chance.to make up his/her mind. Personally I would not date you, and many women would agree.with me.
This^ Be honest, and let the cards fall where they may. Some will date you, some won't, but they do so with full and honest info.

(FWIW, where I live, in NC, you MUST be separated for 12 months by law, before you can file for divorce. Here, a separation agreement reads to say "as if never married". That means you can date (if you choose) in separation without effecting the outcome of the divorce. As to what is "right" depends on all people involved, and all of them having full info.
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