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Old 10-11-2012, 08:11 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
1,791 posts, read 3,171,604 times
Reputation: 1363

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
"peruse". Sorry. I let most spelling mistakes go, but this one was too much.

I don't think the hooker and mail-order-bride suggestion was meant to be taken seriously, btw. I think it was meant sarcastically. Oh...oops, I guess she meant it seriously. Never mind.

Wow, i really butchered that word.

 
Old 10-11-2012, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
1,791 posts, read 3,171,604 times
Reputation: 1363
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I agree. I walk away from guys who say stuff like that.
And this is why i don't bother. Women are just too picky! There is just no pleasing you. You get offended by compliments! I can understand getting offended by insults. But do you realize how difficult it is for me to comprehend that this woman may have been offended by a compliment? It wasn't like a SEXUAL compliment. It wasn't like i was saying she had nice ****.

You are telling me, sincerely, that a woman was possibly offended that i implied that she was beautiful. And you wonder why i give up on women.

One of you ladies should put together an instruction manual telling us exactly what you would like us to say, when you would like us to say it. You could make a lot of money on something like that. This is so crazy, it might deserve its own thread.
 
Old 10-11-2012, 08:22 PM
 
17,869 posts, read 20,939,671 times
Reputation: 13948
Quote:
Originally Posted by lpfan921 View Post
And this is why i don't bother. Women are just too picky! There is just no pleasing you. You get offended by compliments! I can understand getting offended by insults. But do you realize how difficult it is for me to comprehend that this woman may have been offended by a compliment? It wasn't like a SEXUAL compliment. It wasn't like i was saying she had nice ****.

You are telling me, sincerely, that a woman was possibly offended that i implied that she was beautiful. And you wonder why i give up on women.

One of you ladies should put together an instruction manual telling us exactly what you would like us to say, when you would like us to say it. You could make a lot of money on something like that.
Not enough paper in the world

I don't think you should use a line to try to get a woman to open up to you. You should try to talk about whatever she's doing, then maybe a joke or something, then introduce yourself. Not use a one-liner followed by "I'm Sam, I'd like to date you "
 
Old 10-11-2012, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,330 posts, read 34,458,434 times
Reputation: 73335
OP?

I asked you a very simple question 2 pages back..... any hope you'll answer?
 
Old 10-11-2012, 08:39 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
1,791 posts, read 3,171,604 times
Reputation: 1363
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
OP?

I asked you a very simple question 2 pages back..... any hope you'll answer?
10 a month maybe over the past 2 months? That's totally a guess. It goes in spurts... some months i won't really ask a lot, other months i'll try and talk to 10 or 15 women.
 
Old 10-11-2012, 08:48 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,330 posts, read 34,458,434 times
Reputation: 73335
Quote:
Originally Posted by lpfan921 View Post
10 a month maybe over the past 2 months? That's totally a guess. It goes in spurts... some months i won't really ask a lot, other months i'll try and talk to 10 or 15 women.
Thank you! Ok, are you asking them out on-line or out and about? I'm just trying to figure out what the problem is.
 
Old 10-11-2012, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Tacoma, WA
223 posts, read 282,012 times
Reputation: 325
Although I have friends who like me for a variety of reasons, I'm certainly not what anyone would call a Beacon of Positivity. I've always been a bit of a cynic, in fact. However, I've never felt as negative against the male sex as you seem you feel against the female sex. I never called ALL men pigs, jerks, whatever. I never blamed men for my problems. Maybe it's because I have always had mixed sex friendships. I'm hetero and am sexually interested in men, but I see men and women as PEOPLE who have differences, because HUMANS have differences.

As a woman I have never asked anyone out on a date. However, many the time I tried to get men interested in me romantically, and many were not. I was always the "dumped" in relationships. I always saw any relationship I had as a learning experience. That might come off as corny, but it's true. I held the "dumpers" no ill-will (after I got over the breakup).

There are three things I have going for me:

1. I'm honest and genuine, and cannot be anything but that. I take things literally and have no reason for a life of fakery (except at work, and that's exhausting). I accepted that I am who I am, with no shame.

2. I have creative ways to deal with myself and what others see as "negative". I will admit I USED to gripe and grouse - a lot. Well, as you have figured out based on your first post, people don't like complaining. After a spell of time and after mutiple people told me as much, I figured that out. I found better ways to complain, and it worked out for me - like drawing comics about things that annoyed me. Finding a way to put a comedic spin on a negative situations I want to express to people. I avoid situations that are un-necessary to be in if I don't have to be in them, I avoid people I don't have to be around if I don't have to be around them. Finally, if there is a situation that needs changing, I couple complaining with solutions.

3. I never worried about not finding the right one. It may be in my advantage I had no "biological clock", but I simply decided not to worry about it. If I never "found" anyone, I knew I'd be fine.

As it worked out, I found a person, finally, who accepted me for who I was. We love each other, and I can stay with him forever, and I have never felt the need to be phony around him.

Be yourself (yes, it's an over used phrase, but it's true). Don't immediately jump to conclusions about women. Don't take everything so personally, and try to be a bit objective to see if maybe you're reading a situation with a woman incorrectly.
 
Old 10-11-2012, 09:56 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,756 posts, read 11,954,025 times
Reputation: 30181
Quote:
Originally Posted by lpfan921 View Post
And this is why i don't bother. Women are just too picky! There is just no pleasing you. You get offended by compliments! I can understand getting offended by insults. But do you realize how difficult it is for me to comprehend that this woman may have been offended by a compliment? It wasn't like a SEXUAL compliment. It wasn't like i was saying she had nice ****.

You are telling me, sincerely, that a woman was possibly offended that i implied that she was beautiful. And you wonder why i give up on women.

One of you ladies should put together an instruction manual telling us exactly what you would like us to say, when you would like us to say it. You could make a lot of money on something like that. This is so crazy, it might deserve its own thread.
Your comment wasn't offensive to anyone, it was cheesy and repelled at least 4 women in this thread. That comment caused the opposite effect for us from how you intended it. And that is something you need to care about in the dating world, and the world at large...how you are being perceived by others versus how you perceive yourself.

For example, at my office, we did a workshop a few years ago to determine our "colour", basically a representation of your personality type, and how personality type comes into play amongst colleagues, your boss, your clients (and would apply in the dating world too). The biggest thing I took from this workshop was not only identifying my personality traits, but how my "colour" interacts with other colours, and how you need to know your audience in order to have effective communication and achieve desired results. For instance, my boss is a jokester, doesn't take things seriously, and is, in MY perception, an overgrown frat boy. His particular personality is going to clash with many other personality types. If he wants to relate to our clients, he needs to tone it down, because while he thinks he's funny, he's going to come across like an idiot to certain segments of our client base, and could lose business if he doesn't learn to relate to the clients based on what their personality type (colour) is.

A long-winded way of saying that maybe some of your difficulty is in the delivery, and how you think you're presenting yourself is not the way it's being perceived.
 
Old 10-11-2012, 10:32 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
1,791 posts, read 3,171,604 times
Reputation: 1363
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Your comment wasn't offensive to anyone, it was cheesy and repelled at least 4 women in this thread. That comment caused the opposite effect for us from how you intended it. And that is something you need to care about in the dating world, and the world at large...how you are being perceived by others versus how you perceive yourself.

For example, at my office, we did a workshop a few years ago to determine our "colour", basically a representation of your personality type, and how personality type comes into play amongst colleagues, your boss, your clients (and would apply in the dating world too). The biggest thing I took from this workshop was not only identifying my personality traits, but how my "colour" interacts with other colours, and how you need to know your audience in order to have effective communication and achieve desired results. For instance, my boss is a jokester, doesn't take things seriously, and is, in MY perception, an overgrown frat boy. His particular personality is going to clash with many other personality types. If he wants to relate to our clients, he needs to tone it down, because while he thinks he's funny, he's going to come across like an idiot to certain segments of our client base, and could lose business if he doesn't learn to relate to the clients based on what their personality type (colour) is.

A long-winded way of saying that maybe some of your difficulty is in the delivery, and how you think you're presenting yourself is not the way it's being perceived.
I think i'm going to consider talking to some European or Russian women. Don't get me wrong, American women are by far the most beautiful. But you ladies are way too mean and picky. I wonder if sooner or later guys will get sick of dealing with the arrogant American type of woman and move toward more foreign women. How stuck up and arrogant do you have to be to find it "cheesy" to hear that you are beautiful?

I have been reading some very good articles about how these women are nicer, more down to earth, and more appreciative of men who treat them well. Less "spoiled" and less high-maintenence, i guess.

Like i said, i do find American women more attractive, so i don't know if i will be able to switch or not. But it's at least worth trying to talk to some foreign women, to see if in fact they are nicer. Some of the British ladies are sort of cute.

Definitely going to look into it.
 
Old 10-11-2012, 10:47 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,756 posts, read 11,954,025 times
Reputation: 30181
Quote:
Originally Posted by lpfan921 View Post
I think i'm going to consider talking to some European or Russian women. Don't get me wrong, American women are by far the most beautiful. But you ladies are way too mean and picky. I wonder if sooner or later guys will get sick of dealing with the arrogant American type of woman and move toward more foreign women. How stuck up and arrogant do you have to be to find it "cheesy" to hear that you are beautiful?

I have been reading some very good articles about how these women are nicer, more down to earth, and more appreciative of men who treat them well. Less "spoiled" and less high-maintenence, i guess.

Like i said, i do find American women more attractive, so i don't know if i will be able to switch or not. But it's at least worth trying to talk to some foreign women, to see if in fact they are nicer. Some of the British ladies are sort of cute.

Definitely going to look into it.
Oh.my.God. You still don't get it. It's like we're speaking two different languages.

You give an example of a line you used on a woman, 4 women here agreed it was cheesy and they wouldn't find it appealing, and instead of saying "okay, do you have any suggestions on what a more flattering approach might be?", you again lash out and call us stuck up, arrogant, spoiled and high-maintenance.

It's quite evident that you'd just rather keep doing what you've been doing all along, not caring how you're perceived by women you're attracted to, having no success, and blaming all women for it, including the "meanies" who've been trying to help you here.

You'll definitely have better luck with the foreign women you're off to pursue because cheesy probably doesn't translate into their native tongue.
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