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Look - I've had it easy when it comes to love. I've always had guys attracted to me, hitting on me, going after me - I know that I've been lucky. I'm also really funny, very outgoing, really easy to talk to, and an overall cheerful person. I also love men.
I'm a performer - which means I get rejected all the time. Most of my time is spent auditioning for shows and getting rejected over and over again. It used to really get me down. I used to lose touch with my friends when I had been between shows for awhile. I felt like I had nothing to offer. Until I realized that if I wanted to make this my lifelong career - I had to find a way to deal with the rejection and still be happy. I had to find a way to walk into that audition room with a positive attitude and leave with a positive attitude. I had to realize that my friend valued me as a person whether or not I was working. These can apply to relationships as well. You need to learn how to leave your baggage behind you. The next woman is not the same as the last woman. If you carry all this resentment with you - people pick up on that and it's not attractive. If you blame women for everything - they can sense that and will not want to have anything to do with you. Rejection is hard for everyone. You need to find a way to cope with it so that it doesn't turn you into a bitter person.
I've been seeing a therapist for a few months (when i can afford it... therapy is expensive!) I don't think i've spelled it out clearly enough for her that i have major issues with rejection. Maybe i'll try to focus on it the next time i see her. We spend a lot of time on family issues, but probably not enough time on my problems with women.
Thanks for taking the time to respond, in quite some detail. Sorry to hear you have had your own rejection to deal with.
Make sure to tell your therapist how much time you spend on the internet complaining about women and telling others how "women" are. That would be useful information.
I've been seeing a therapist for a few months (when i can afford it... therapy is expensive!) I don't think i've spelled it out clearly enough for her that i have major issues with rejection. Maybe i'll try to focus on it the next time i see her. We spend a lot of time on family issues, but probably not enough time on my problems with women.
Thanks for taking the time to respond, in quite some detail. Sorry to hear you have had your own rejection to deal with.
That's great that you are seeing a therapist. I saw a therapist for a little while. My ex-fiance made me. We almost broke up and he said that I needed to see a therapist in order for us to stay together. He wanted me to discuss my eating disorder but we spend most of the time talking about our relationship. I loved seeing a therapist. It was usually the highlight of my week!
I think you definitely need to talk about your issues with rejection and your issues with how you see women. Hopefully you'll be able to turn over a new leaf.
Just remember - ever single person on this planet has had tough times and good times. NOBODY has all the power.
Make sure to tell your therapist how much time you spend on the internet complaining about women and telling others how "women" are. That would be useful information.
Always love to get the condescending lecture from someone whose opinion i never asked for
Always love to get the condescending lecture from someone whose opinion i never asked for
But he does have a point. You said so yourself in the OP, that you "definitely complain". Complaining doesn't change anything, and it's you that is choosing to complain, no one is making you. The problem is within you and only you have the power to change it. Read and re-read Dewdrop's advice to you, it's very useful and can help you if you're willing.
But he does have a point. You said so yourself in the OP, that you "definitely complain". Complaining doesn't change anything, and it's you that is choosing to complain, no one is making you. The problem is within you and only you have the power to change it. Read and re-read Dewdrop's advice to you, it's very useful and can help you if you're willing.
Like i haven't heard that advice and criticism 1,000 times before. It always looks so easy to make changes when you are the person on the outside looking in. It must be nice to be right all the time and just know the answers to everything.
The whole point of this thread is that i have been TRYING to do something about it for years, but it's not working. But whatever, just keep kicking me when i'm down if that's how you get your fun for the day.
I really have to find a new hobby other than posting on this forum. Too many condescending people who lack compassion.
Like i haven't heard that advice and criticism 1,000 times before. It always looks so easy to make changes when you are the person on the outside looking in. It must be nice to be right all the time and just know the answers to everything.
The whole point of this thread is that i have been TRYING to do something about it for years, but it's not working. But whatever, just keep kicking me when i'm down if that's how you get your fun for the day.
I really have to find a new hobby other than posting on this forum. Too many condescending people who lack compassion.
It's NOT easy to make changes, never said it was. It's hard, it can be scary, it takes time, and a lot of conscious effort. What you're doing right now, complaining and venting on the internet, is easy, and takes no effort, which is the complete opposite of the efforts needed to make positive changes in your life.
If you've heard this advice "1,000 times before" and you've been "trying" for years, you need to either listen to the advice, or try something else because what you're doing is not working.
Venting, complaining and lashing out are all a waste of time and emotions that could be better spent helping yourself get to a better place.
If you think it's easier on the outside looking in, how about taking a step outside of yourself. If you had a friend who was acting the way you do and saying the things you do, what would your advice to him be?
Time to move on to something else then? I wouldn't continue throwing away $300/month for therapy that isn't helping you meet your goals.
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