SEX or MONEY, what's worse? (guy, family, child support, social)
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In my experience the part you said about not noticing the car is false. I'm an attractive male as I have been told by lots of people, but when I had my old Toyota which I owned for years, it was missing a window and I had duct tape to hold that together, and I had the front bumper gone, and the back and side door dented in really bad from an accident with scratches on the whole side from that, I never had women checking me out when I was out and about, but as a result of an accident I had later on after that time period I recieved enough money to get a nice car and now I notice women looking over at me and checking me out.
Sorry, but cars with duct tape, missing windows, and missing bumpers are definitely minuses. Women don't usually care about the car, but the car being in good condition is critical. A car with duct tape and missing bumpers implies you are hardly making ends meet.
I see a guy in a car that costs more than my annual salary and I think "douchebag." Why would I be interested in some idiot who spends his money on such a frivolous thing? Total misalignment of values.
This may be one of the silliest posts I've read all night and I was in the Presidential Debate thread earlier.
My next car will be an Audi or Jag and my current car is a fully loaded foreign luxury sedan, too.
So that means I'm a douche? Funny thing is, I got this car because it's cheaper on maintenance and more reliable than a more luxurious coupe I could've get which is after I got rid of a Bimmer coupe.
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And yeah, someone made this point earlier. Whether it was at college or here in Houston, the majority of the time I see someone in a Bimmer, Benz or Bentley, etc, they had a bad chick or at least a pretty one in the passenger seat.
Go to the dive bar or pub in midtown where there are nothing but Prius', corollas, subarus, etc (which are fine cars!) and you'll see average looking women at best. Some could be mistaken for dudes from behind.
Then head over to Kirby Drive where there is valet parking and Porsches, lambos and Maserati's in front and you'll see nothing but 8's, 9's, and dimes, too. This is no coincidence.
Nothing wrong with either situation, just observations. Also, I'm not trying to speak in absolutes.
Now, as for BROKE - do I think there is a problem? Yes. But the problem starts way before these guys get rich.
You're right. I'm not going to speak about individual cases here because we all have different experiences, but yes, these issues do start way before these guys get rich which leads us back to the way the two people at the gas station treated each other. In that thread which is on city-data and was posted last night I read about the guy pulling up to the pump in his mothe's Lexus next to the woman at the other pump and how the guy felt he needed to lead the woman to think the Lexus was his own car and not his mother's. That little lie he told came from what society teaches us about what it thinks women want. It is a fact that we see it time and time again how guys with less financial stability don't get the same opportunities with women as guys that do have that stability. Why else would the guy think he needed to lie? As for the woman, now she ends up maybe becoming a victim of being used for sex in lots of cases like this, but in this case I have no idea what the guys motives truly were. I don't know the woman's motives either, but in lots of cases the woman in this situation noticing a financially stable guy would more likely give him an opportunity. I think lots of these athletes come from poverty or low income lives before they go pro and all the sudden this money comes and they don't know how to spend it and with the money comes lots more opportunities with all kinds of women who would most likely never gave them a second look before, so this Money vs. sex issue needs to be addressed at it's core or at the low income level because most healthy experiences between the opposite sex happen in the middle class or upper classes of society. Personally I wish money wasn't a factor and sex wasn't the main thing guys were searching for from women. I know that's a general statement, but if you watch any reality TV or spend time around the coffee table at work you always hear stories and see how the majority of people fall in line with society's way of thinking. That's just a fact. I agree with you, just pointing some ideas out here.
As far as meeting a real woman yes I've met a bunch, and the good ones are always taken, My ideas and theories are based off of the characters of these women who have played a role in my life. As it is with guys, the same goes with girls, there is a majority of each group who live inside the box of society, and this translates into why I've experienced lots of using, cheating, and women who want guys that have 'financial stability' aka money as they say. Is it my fault I have experienced women checking me out when I have my new car and nobody checking me out when I drove my clunker around? Why is the finger pointed at me? It's not my fault people act the way they do, that's where my views are formed about people, by the experiences they give me and the actions they perform in my path.
First of all, re: your clunker of a car -- Seriously? You can't figure out why a woman wouldn't want to get involved with a guy who has a car that's falling apart? Most likely you'll be the one driving on dates, at least in the beginning. Do you really think she wants to risk breaking down or being in a vehicle that could be unsafe? And of course a woman isn't going to look at a clunker and try to check out the guy inside. When you see a clunker, do you think "Oh, I bet there's a hot chick inside?" No, you just think "What a crappy car" and you pass it by.
As for it not being your fault, it is your fault for how you react to it. You seem to think if you complain about the way the world is, somehow people will say "Oh, he's right, let's change it." It's not going to happen. The onus is on you to figure out how you are going to deal with it. And as for your observations, if that's what your prejudice is then of course you are going to observe it. If you believe that women are liars, cheaters, that they use men for money, etc. then you are only going to notice those behaviors. It's called confirmation bias, and we've talked about it plenty of times before on this board.
No one is on earth for the sole purpose to please you. Unless you rid your mind of these prejudices and just take people as individuals instead of fitting into a specific mold or stereotype, you're going to be a very lonely dude.
Sorry, but cars with duct tape, missing windows, and missing bumpers are definitely minuses. Women don't usually care about the car, but the car being in good condition is critical. A car with duct tape and missing bumpers implies you are hardly making ends meet.
This is my point, why does it matter if 'I'm' barely making ends meet when we haven't decided to move in together or when you have no idea how long ago the accident happened or what my plans for the future are and what I've done to accomplish those things. care if a woman had a beat up car and was barely getting by if I had no clue about whether or not I got to know if I even liked her as a person yet? How can you tell what a person is about on the inside or where they are headed in life just by looking at someones' car in a single moment of the present time? Unfortunatly this is how society thinks and this validates my point. I'm not attacking you, but what you said is just the way people think. So basically for a guy like me who has a college degree, has a job, pays my bills, has a good sense of right and wrong, has a good sense of humor, whom is attractive and able to communicate pretty well with people, who lives with my mother who is unemployed helping us to survive on my low salary,...Basically with that statement you are saying.there is no hope for someone like me in finding a woman in society who would care to end up with a guy that has a beat up car (I have a nice one now) regardless of all the good natural qualities I posses?
First of all, re: your clunker of a car -- Seriously? You can't figure out why a woman wouldn't want to get involved with a guy who has a car that's falling apart? Most likely you'll be the one driving on dates, at least in the beginning. Do you really think she wants to risk breaking down or being in a vehicle that could be unsafe? And of course a woman isn't going to look at a clunker and try to check out the guy inside. When you see a clunker, do you think "Oh, I bet there's a hot chick inside?" No, you just think "What a crappy car" and you pass it by.
Who said the car's engine wasn't good? I wouldn't want someone to be with me that couldn't ride in my car the same as I do each day, or did each day because that used to be the car I had. I would actually want someone who didn't care so much about petty things like that and just ride along like all my friends ride. That kind of woman would be too shallow for my taste anyways. Actually in a guy's mind we don't care about the woman's car if she's fine, we just wanna get to know her.
As for it not being your fault, it is your fault for how you react to it. You seem to think if you complain about the way the world is, somehow people will say "Oh, he's right, let's change it." It's not going to happen. The onus is on you to figure out how you are going to deal with it. And as for your observations, if that's what your prejudice is then of course you are going to observe it. If you believe that women are liars, cheaters, that they use men for money, etc. then you are only going to notice those behaviors. It's called confirmation bias, and we've talked about it plenty of times before on this board.
Who said I was trying to change the world? I already know the world is full of self centered and superficial people. I'm just pointing out my experiences and debating some things on a forum. This is not a therapy session. I have way more serious issues in life to worry about, this is for fun.
No one is on earth for the sole purpose to please you. Unless you rid your mind of these prejudices and just take people as individuals instead of fitting into a specific mold or stereotype, you're going to be a very lonely dude.
Again, you read things on here and skim over them taking them out of context. I was giving a hypethetical scenerio of a real life kind of situation and simply discussing the factors, and my views on it, and wanting to know how other people thought. This is not about me. The only time in these forums when things get personal is when someone comes along and assumes something about what someone says and gets personal or takes it personal, then the conversation brings personal experiences to light just to back up our theories on the subject, this is no therapy session where I am looking for someone to lick my wounds of this life, Woe is me, woe is me....It's not my fault people are so shallow in society, I'm just pointing it out on here. If you get offended then you must have thought in ways that confirm the stereotypes of society. My bad for pointing out the truth.
Your reply proves my point about our society, it is about money. Just admit it. You have no idea where I've been in life or how I got to where I am. You have no idea about my character or what I've done for people in my path, but because I lack the kind of transportation or material things this shallow American society looks upon as nessecity that I don't deserve someone to love me or care about me like you do?
Some people mistaken a prejudice for a truth. Is it prejudice to say that a man living in a low income situation has less opportunities in finding a mate in our society? No it's not a prejudice, it's just a fact. This is not a complaint about my situation, who cares about my situation, this is about calling a spade a spade and debating a subject. People who get offended on these forums usually attack the arguement in a personal manner which leads to false assumptions and them telling the other person how they should live thier life instead of the offended party admitting the truth about themselves or debating with facts why something is not true.
This is my point, why does it matter if 'I'm' barely making ends meet when we haven't decided to move in together or when you have no idea how long ago the accident happened or what my plans for the future are and what I've done to accomplish those things. care if a woman had a beat up car and was barely getting by if I had no clue about whether or not I got to know if I even liked her as a person yet? How can you tell what a person is about on the inside or where they are headed in life just by looking at someones' car in a single moment of the present time? Unfortunatly this is how society thinks and this validates my point. I'm not attacking you, but what you said is just the way people think. So basically for a guy like me who has a college degree, has a job, pays my bills, has a good sense of right and wrong, has a good sense of humor, whom is attractive and able to communicate pretty well with people, who lives with my mother who is unemployed helping us to survive on my low salary,...Basically with that statement you are saying.there is no hope for someone like me in finding a woman in society who would care to end up with a guy that has a beat up car (I have a nice one now) regardless of all the good natural qualities I posses?
It is the duct tape and the missing windows -- not the type of car.
The post that referenced the woman comparing the attention she got in a Prada outfit vs the stained t-shirt is an appropriate analogy. It it not the package, but the condition of the package.
The reaction is completely different if you had an older, but well maintained car. The average woman isn't looking at the type of car, but what it represents. If you have a car full of trash, fast food wrappers, you have to clear out the crap from the seat for someone to sit down etc, that is also a huge negative.
There is a 60K late model volvo in my neighborhood that has been missing a bumper for at least a year. I think the same thing of the driver of that car -- something doesn't add up for me, that car has been missing the entire rear bumper for well over a year. It might even be 2 years at this point I don't remember when I first started seeing. Every time I see the car now I think: why on earth haven't they fixed this yet.
It is the duct tape and the missing windows -- not the type of car.
There weren't missing 'windows', a window was busted out after someone hit n run on my car therfore I replaced the window with a see-thru piece of plastic which I used duct tape to hold in place. No AC or Heat got out of the car, so who cares about how it looks unless you're a materialistic shallow kind of person. If that truth offens people then so be it, but that's what people are when they think like that. I didn't say people don't have the right to think this way, but just calling it like I see it, materialistic and selfcentered people think this way because of the society they follow and were produced by
The post that referenced the woman comparing the attention she got in a Prada outfit vs the stained t-shirt is an appropriate analogy. It it not the package, but the condition of the package.
The reaction is completely different if you had an older, but well maintained car. The average woman isn't looking at the type of car, but what it represents. If you have a car full of trash, fast food wrappers, you have to clear out the crap from the seat for someone to sit down etc, that is also a huge negative.
There is a 60K late model volvo in my neighborhood that has been missing a bumper for at least a year. I think the same thing of the driver of that car -- something doesn't add up for me, that car has been missing the entire rear bumper for well over a year. It might even be 2 years at this point I don't remember when I first started seeing. Every time I see the car now I think: why on earth haven't they fixed this yet.
This is a very judgemental attitude without knowing about what someone has been through in life. yeah my car was beat up, sure, but it never had any problems electrically or with the engine, it was paid off, and I kept it cleaned out. The only thing wrong was that I got hit n run on two seperate occasions which left the body of my car damaged. I currently have another car which is better than what most people in my social class have, so I guess I deserve to be treated as a human being now that my car is different even though I am still the same good guy I was before. I find it disapointing how people automatically assume something must be wrong with someone if they are poor. We all have different starting points in life, so to judge someone elses' path is totally wrong and unethical. Do you consider factors of health, caretaking, the economy, lack of opportunities, a person's support system compared to yours, or a number of other factors before you judge someone based on what you think of them in a passing moment from the car they currently drive?
Disgreement is fine. I just know that every woman I know, including those into cars, would prioritize a ton of other things in evaluating guys before their car.
Agreed. A lot of women don't notice a guy's car, unless it's really old and beat-up. Being into fancy cars with all the trimmings, the rims, etc. is a guy thing. They justify it by saying that's what women like.
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