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Let him initiate the contact atleast for the first 3 to 4 dates & until you get the feeling he is genuinely interested in you. Its difficult not to think about it until he calls so try to keep yourself busy & loose count of days in between calls. Date multiple people until both of you decide to be 'exclusive'. That way you will loose track of time & wont sit around waiting for someone to call. You seem like a smart woman so keep your options open & stay distracted. 'Not caring' is an attractive quality. I understand not wanting to be with a needy person who doesn't respect your time & space. You have the right attitude.
Read this book to understand their signals:
He's just not that into you by Liz Tuccili
This book must be so full of sh** if your post comes from it. No wonder there are so many unhappy women around. They actually heed this advice.
Talk to a guy, get his number, ask him out, be clear and frank on your intentions, and stop going by the BS rules from 50 years ago.
Talk to a guy, get his number, ask him out, be clear and frank on your intentions, and stop going by the BS rules from 50 years ago.
I agree with this to an extent, that being men go by BS rules too. The last guy I dated got my number, waited the requisite 3 days to call, asked me out for a day other than Friday or Saturday (aka the "non-pressure" days), waited 3 days after the date to call again, etc. It was so incredibly textbook. And more often than not, when he did get around to calling, he found I'd already made other plans. One of the things that most attracted me to my late husband was he didn't follow some set of rules-he liked me, he wanted to see me and he made that VERY clear from the beginning.
I did read "He's Just Not That Into You" a couple of years after he died-things changed from the time I met him, was with him and got to the point of being ready to date again and it was a good refresher course. btw-it's not 50 years old. It was inspired by "Sex and the City."
In the early stages of dating, is a woman always supposed to let the man contact her?
Sometimes I think that's silly, so I'll contact them if I feel like it, but then when I feel like I've been doing all the initiating, I'll back down and see how they respond.
But when I don't hear back for 2 or 3 days, I start to think maybe they don't like me that much, and then I'll start thinking of moving on. But then I do get contacted at the end of the 3rd day and I get all happy that they do like me.
So how can I tell if a guy is busy, distant, or just doesn't like me that much?
Well, from past experience, I think all guys want their space. The guys who want to talk to me everyday and are clingy, I'm not attracted to, because I also have my own life. And I'm not saying if a guy just doesn't like me, because then he wouldn't talk to me. I'm talking about the ones who kind of like me, but not that much... how can you tell? I mean this IS the early stage, so I do not expect nor want someone to just jump at me and want to see me everyday. That would make me run.
I guess I would know if they haven't contact me in two weeks. But I'm talking about the in between time like I just experienced. I'd like to talk every other day or every two days for the most distance. But on the third day, I start wondering if they want their space, and if so, I will totally give it to them. But I also wonder if they would want me to do some initiating? I guess you just got to give each other turns to initiate huh?
Ponchew0, what I'm really hearing from your post is: How can I tell if I'm a good for now girl (girl to string along) or someone whom this person see's potential with?
You gauge it by the quality of attention put into the relationship.
Even if you get to the later stages of dating and meet the friends and family, it's still about how consistent this person is with you. The more consistent, the more likely they actually make room for you in their lives.
Of course, there needs to be some level of mutual reciprocity. Otherwise, it's totally one-sided, and you need to focus your energy on the things you want in your life instead of half-hearted relationships and dialogue. In the end, you know deep inside when something feels right and you are happy. Listen to that quiet intuition your body tells you.
If women want to be treated like equals in relationships, then they need to act like they are equals. If I was a guy and a woman never contacted me first, I'd think she wasn't interested. Don't act desperate, don't send him a million texts in a day with no response, but be clear that you are in fact interested. If you want to talk to him, then call him. If he never answers your calls then obviously you need to move on, but I think a lot of guys appreciate a woman who is up front in her intentions and doesn't leave him guessing.
if women want to be treated like equals in relationships, then they need to act like they are equals. If i was a guy and a woman never contacted me first, i'd think she wasn't interested. Don't act desperate, don't send him a million texts in a day with no response, but be clear that you are in fact interested. If you want to talk to him, then call him. If he never answers your calls then obviously you need to move on, but i think a lot of guys appreciate a woman who is up front in her intentions and doesn't leave him guessing.
either one of you is supposed to pick up the phone and call each other whenever. if the person never calls you or doesn't return the calls -- stop calling. what is the big deal?
In the early stages of dating, is a woman always supposed to let the man contact her?
Sometimes I think that's silly, so I'll contact them if I feel like it, but then when I feel like I've been doing all the initiating, I'll back down and see how they respond.
But when I don't hear back for 2 or 3 days, I start to think maybe they don't like me that much, and then I'll start thinking of moving on. But then I do get contacted at the end of the 3rd day and I get all happy that they do like me.
So how can I tell if a guy is busy, distant, or just doesn't like me that much?
Well, from past experience, I think all guys want their space. The guys who want to talk to me everyday and are clingy, I'm not attracted to, because I also have my own life. And I'm not saying if a guy just doesn't like me, because then he wouldn't talk to me. I'm talking about the ones who kind of like me, but not that much... how can you tell? I mean this IS the early stage, so I do not expect nor want someone to just jump at me and want to see me everyday. That would make me run.
I guess I would know if they haven't contact me in two weeks. But I'm talking about the in between time like I just experienced. I'd like to talk every other day or every two days for the most distance. But on the third day, I start wondering if they want their space, and if so, I will totally give it to them. But I also wonder if they would want me to do some initiating? I guess you just got to give each other turns to initiate huh?
most women will insist that the man chase, they will argue "men are hunters, blah blah bhal"
most women will insist that the man chase, they will argue "men are hunters, blah blah blah"
Men should start saying women should not complain about cooking and cleaning for them because “women are gatherers, nurturers, care takers, blah blah blah” Then again, that would be sexist I suppose.
I guess biology and psychology play an important role only when it benefits certain people.
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