Who contacts who? (dating, how to, woman, attracted)

[Gabriella Geramia]

In the early stages of dating, is a woman always supposed to let the man contact her?

Sometimes I think that's silly, so I'll contact them if I feel like it, but then when I feel like I've been doing all the initiating, I'll back down and see how they respond.

But when I don't hear back for 2 or 3 days, I start to think maybe they don't like me that much, and then I'll start thinking of moving on. But then I do get contacted at the end of the 3rd day and I get all happy that they do like me.

So how can I tell if a guy is busy, distant, or just doesn't like me that much?

Well, from past experience, I think all guys want their space. The guys who want to talk to me everyday and are clingy, I'm not attracted to, because I also have my own life. And I'm not saying if a guy just doesn't like me, because then he wouldn't talk to me. I'm talking about the ones who kind of like me, but not that much... how can you tell? I mean this IS the early stage, so I do not expect nor want someone to just jump at me and want to see me everyday. That would make me run.

I guess I would know if they haven't contact me in two weeks. But I'm talking about the in between time like I just experienced. I'd like to talk every other day or every two days for the most distance. But on the third day, I start wondering if they want their space, and if so, I will totally give it to them. But I also wonder if they would want me to do some initiating? I guess you just got to give each other turns to initiate huh?

[Checkered24]

Nobody is "supposed" to do anything specific. It is ok for you to initiate contact with a guy, suggest a date, etc.

How to tell if they are interested? They act it. They contact you, wish to talk to you, want to go out, etc.

A guy who is too "busy" or "distant" just is not interested. Any interested guy is going to make some time for you.

There is a difference between wanting frequent contact and being clingy too. If a guy wants to talk daily, or at least communicate daily, that is a good sign. If a guy doesn't respect your space and time, thats clingy (IMO).

[bobman]

Nobody contacts anybody.

You both sit and wait for each other to contact.

[theluckygal]

Let him initiate the contact atleast for the first 3 to 4 dates & until you get the feeling he is genuinely interested in you. Its difficult not to think about it until he calls so try to keep yourself busy & loose count of days in between calls. Date multiple people until both of you decide to be 'exclusive'. That way you will loose track of time & wont sit around waiting for someone to call. You seem like a smart woman so keep your options open & stay distracted. 'Not caring' is an attractive quality. I understand not wanting to be with a needy person who doesn't respect your time & space. You have the right attitude.

Read this book to understand their signals:
He's just not that into you by Liz Tuccili

[AverageGuy2006]

This is another one of those, "How many days do I wait before i call him/her?" questions.

If you want to text/talk every third day, then do it that way. If he doesnt reciprocate, then move on and find a guy that shows the interest you want. There is no black/white answer here on how often we are supposed to text or call.
For example, I met someone online a month ago. We started texting talking pretty quickly. Within a few days, she was texting me DAILY. I didnt really have a problem with it, as I thought it was nice she was showing interest in me.
But due to bad timing and schedules, it took almost 3 weeks to get a date. We had a good time, but she fell off the map shortly after the date. Oh well, thats how it goes.

[Gabriella Geramia]

I think of doing that but honestly I don't have that much time or energy to date more than one person at a time. It also seemed like he was testing me. Like he doesn't talk to me much throughout the week and then next time we meet he asks if I'm dating other people and he'll say stuff like there's probably boys chasing me (not in a jealous way but as a matter of fact) Makes me think he's kind of insecure, no? Or he doesn't want to give too much until he figures me out?

[sinsativ]

Originally Posted by ponchew0

I think of doing that but honestly I don't have that much time or energy to date more than one person at a time. It also seemed like he was testing me. Like he doesn't talk to me much throughout the week and then next time we meet he asks if I'm dating other people and he'll say stuff like there's probably boys chasing me (not in a jealous way but as a matter of fact) Makes me think he's kind of insecure, no? Or he doesn't want to give too much until he figures me out?

Insecure? no, he wants to know if youre considering him. its a passive aggressive question. Simply, if youre not seeing anyone else, I would like to ask you out on a date, but Im asking you to tell me if you are, first, please.
Just like at the dinner table, somebody has a biscuit on their appetizer plate, "If you're not gonna eat that, mind if I take it"

If youre not dating anyone, I would like to ask you out....

[Gabriella Geramia]

Well, we're already dating so I guess he just wants to see how serious I am if he doesn't give me a lot of attention? I wasn't sure if he liked me at first, but he's asked me out more since I expressed my concern about him not taking initiative.

[NWGirl74]

Originally Posted by asma410

Read this book to understand their signals:
He's just not that into you by Liz Tuccili

I second this. First rule: "He's just not that into you if he's not calling you." (or texting, e-mailing, IM, sending carrier pigeons, etc).

[smarterguy]

Who gives a f***. Honestly. You like them. You want to see them. Make plans and execute.