Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Sorry, I don't believe that, but please prove me wrong and link the evidence where a majority of women on this forum, and especially the most reasonable, care what you do. I've been on this forum for years now and can't even recall one reasonable woman on this forum giving a rats behind let alone foaming over it. What I do notice is a bit of grandiosity from some of the guys here. People really don't care what you all do or where you end up.
I will say again that women face greater stigma. Men are referred to as old batchelors (sp?), women as old maids. I'm very surprised this needs to be said.
That's exactly what I expected. Two reasonable posts from reasonable posters on this forum and 3 posts from one of the more irrational posters on this board. The former is not foaming over you (self-involved much?) and the latter hardly represents most women on this board or reasonable women. Trust me, your time on this earth will matter to practically no one just like the rest of us.
Self-professed reasonable and foam-free woman here. I don't think I encourage people to change their minds about committing to one person, because I think that's a very personal decision. The title of the thread is, "Why should I settle down?" The answer is, "How should I know? I don't know you. It's none of my business, so do some honest introspection and figure yourself out." Now, if people ask me what I get out of marriage, or why marriage is good, or what my opinions are about why people mate, I tell them. That is not badgering people to change their minds. I see some people on the road to unhappiness, but I address the source of what I think the problem is, not that the person is single. Nobody deserves to be tied to an unwilling partner.
Adding: I do believe that some people are happier by themselves and respect their feelings. So I am not trying to say that anybody who says he or she does not want to settle down with one person needs to be "fixed." I re-read what I said and don't want imply that the result of "honest introspection" is to decide to be monogamous or get married. What I mean is that it's clear that some people are not happy with their choices or being reckless and self-destructive. I think honest introspection is needed to determine the reasons for a person's motives so that he or she can live a healthy and fulfilling life.
Last edited by JustJulia; 11-27-2012 at 08:43 AM..
If I even mention not wanting a long term relationship, the most reasonable women on Citi-Data start foaming at the mouth. Stupid men will pressure women who don't want to settle down. Better men will not. To be fair, I'm sure many of them have been hurt somehow.
I'm in my late twenties, and have known of two dangerous men, and one duschebag. None of them were players. I've never known of guys who go around sleeping with random women and lying about it. One of the dangerous men was an abusive husband, with kids, married for 11 years, last I heard. Another was abusive and controlling and got his seventeen year old girlfriend pregnant. She's about the sweetest person on the planet, and wisely broke up with him. The dushbag was an okay guy, except that he got mad at his girlfriend for talking to other guys, even for ten minutes. She'd complain about it, but she stayed with him, so I stopped talking to her, because I got tired of him scowling.
Really? I don't remember foaming at the mouth... I do remember, in thread after thread after thread after thread after thread, that whenever someone talks about not wanting to get married, not wanting to settle down, not wanting children, etc. because it's pointless or stupid or whatever - saying that they simply shouldn't get married or have children. So, is my telling someone that doesn't want to get married that they shouldn't get married - foaming at the mouth? I had no idea... I guess I should look into that... Hmmm...
Regarding the whole "once kids are born, the man gets ignored and it's the road to divorce because his sexual needs aren't being tended to."
Wow. Does anyone else find it a little silly that men get a free pass to be utterly selfish, but if a woman does, she's the devil? Like, it's cool and natural (ha, ha, neener neener) for men to use women...but let a woman use a man and OH MY GOD... And complaining about "feminazi"s like some dudes do, as though whining about how society has changed to the point that women just don't know their places as servitors and property. And guys wonder why chicks get their nasty on, in topics like this.
As for men being ignored once kids are in the picture, and seeking gratification elsewhere. Hm. Well all I can say is that it's hard to respect a "partner" who is behaving like a demanding, selfish child. And to be fair, again to flip the coin which I always do when one or another gender annoys me...women often leave their men and destroy their families for selfish reasons which could easily be overcome with a little work and perserverence. We are indeed a selfish society, which is why the divorce rate is so high. It's not a problem with the institution of marriage...it's a question of whether each person is content to be a slave to the idea that self-gratification is the point of life. Our consumerist society really promotes that.
But again I've been there and done that, living just for my own whims, and it left me remarkably discontent. I find that life in a family, as a wife and a mom, is more fulfilling. I've been with my husband for 15 years. Both of my kids are his. It ain't no fairytale and it ain't always easy, but it works for us. And most of the time, it's pretty darn good.
Well, it's society's pressure to marry and raise a family but its alot if communication issues between men and women so some people just shouldn't settle down wear a condom and don't have kids,
lifetime Alimony
-96% of alimony is paid by men to women despite the fact that around 1/3 of couples have a female breadwinner
Show me where it says only males pay lifetime alimony. What state? What are the alimony laws of the majority of states. Mine, must be married 10 yrs. minimum, limited alimony only if the other spouse is at a significant financial disadvantage. No gender restrictions.
Link to the alimony statistics please. You are trying manipulate the stats: approximately 96% of alimony is paid by men (true); 1/3 of married couples have a female breadwinner (true)
approximately 96% of alimony is paid by men and 1/3 of those 96% have a female breadwinner (false)
Quote:
-The laws that force a man to pay child support for kids that aren't his
Child support laws are not gender specific. Look up state laws on signing birth certificates and the estoppel theory (which is not gender specific). These cases deal (on an individual basis) with custody and support, not divorce specifically. Maintanance (estoppel theory) can be sought against either unrelated gender that has acted in a capacity and provided support.
Quote:
-Laws that allow a woman to falsely accuse their ex of abuse or child endangerment since the court system gives perverse incentives in that regard. The incentive is to lie to get the best deal even if it means throwing your ex under the bus and out of his kids life. Not shockingly, its the divorce lawyers that encourage it.
Quote the specific law, not your uneducated opinions. Which law states only a woman can falsely accuse? True, people have filed false allegations. There are laws against that.
The greatest favor a man with a mentality like this can do to human kind is to NOT marry and to NOT reproduce. With 7 billion people on the planet your contribution to the gene pool is not needed. Why make some woman and innocent children miserable? Just stay by yourself and date your hot chicks if that's what you want to do.
The human gene pool is a lost cause anyway. Too many idiots have diluted it. People should be more respectful to the "heathens" as they are voluntarily removing themselves from the gene pool. Which for most people (including people on CD) are incapable of doing willingly.
Last edited by Yellow Jacket; 11-27-2012 at 09:56 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
