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I go out to bars alone because none of my friends like to drink before 1500. When I told a friend I do that, she was horrified at the thought of going to a bar....alone. Picking up someone is the last thing on my mind.
You're a female so the rules don't apply. You could show up in a bathrobe and slippers and at least a few guys would try to talk to you. However, that does not work for men.
From personal experience, that isn't true. Well, not so much the bathrobe and slippers thing, but I've gone to bars alone after work and ended up chatting with the bartender. I only got approached a few times and it was always by men in their 60s or older, never anyone around my age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RamCharger1985
They are going to wonder why you have no friends. Social proof means a lot to women and there is a stigma against single guys in a bar. They are often labelled as "creepy".
That alone sinks your chances to almost nothing.
Depends on what you're doing. If you're standing in the corner alone with a beer staring at everyone and making them uncomfortable then yes, you'll probably be labeled as creepy. If you engage people and at least try to chat them up without making sexual remarks or staring at their chests it's much less likely you'll be called creepy.
At my local watering hole most of us show up alone, mostly because everyone there is super friendly and accepting of everyone. I go there alone all the time because more than likely I'll end up knowing at least a few people or at the very least meet a few people to hang out with.
You're a female so the rules don't apply. You could show up in a bathrobe and slippers and at least a few guys would try to talk to you. However, that does not work for men.
You're going to the wrong places. You need to hang out where the bikers, goths and girls with hair between their legs and tatoos hang out.
Thoughts on going to bars alone for this? To meet people and women in general? It seems unavoidably awkwards to approach people who are already in groups and it's just you; it's like you're just butting into their conversation/hang out. I'm not shy, it just is unavoidably awkward/weird and maybe a bit rude.
It's not like I don't have friend to go with, hell, one friend of mine is in a "sarging" meetup group. But I don't think any of them want to go out late, and they might be kinda *******. I took two guys (one of which was mr. sarging) to a match.com mixer, they didn't get any numbers, didn't talk much. I got two could have gotten more with more time/less dilly dallying
I've done it many times before. In fact, I've traveled across the world completely alone (of course, I met people on the way). I've gone to crowded bars and clubs completely alone.
I've made many friends and have met many girls this way.
Of course, it's more comfortable going out with a friend or a wing, but sometimes you have to push your comfort zone to get what you want.
I've noticed in life that many people have limiting beliefs about what you can and cannot do (this is something you see often on these forums), but it's all nonsense. There is nothing physically stopping you from doing this or anything else. It's all in your mind.
If you do better at match.com mixers, why not stick with what works? Why do random bars? It's a lot easier to approach people at events that are clearly intended for that purpose.
You're a female so the rules don't apply. You could show up in a bathrobe and slippers and at least a few guys would try to talk to you. However, that does not work for men.
The only rules that exist are the ones that are self-imposed.
I'll tell you one thing that's worked for a friend before.
He would go out to a lounge (bar, upscale bar, etc, will work I think but not a club) by himself. Thing is, he didn't mope or look sad, he looked like he was waiting for someone and looked interested and upbeat about what was going on around him.
After awhile, he was approached by a woman or women, she/they asked why he was alone and if he was waiting for someone. He said he was waiting for his boy, and he isn't answering his phone, as they were supposed to meet up. The girl or girls would invited him to their area with others and each time, he's either hooked up with a girl from the group or got a number, then later close the deal.
If a group or female asks why you're alone, tell them you're waiting for your boy/a friend and ask if you can chill with them until he arrives. Later, just make up a reason why your friend never showed if they ever ask. My friend always says his boy later texts him and he blew him off after he got a call from a jump off.
The key is to look like you're enjoying yourself and you're approachable.
Btw, he's not gorgeous by any stretch but gives off a ton of confidence and has a good personality.
Yeah I should clarify, I'm thinking going to my corner bar (pffff.. like Bergen county is full of bars, I just happen to live a blick near one that's small and really a dedicated bar), could play pool or darts to kill the time.
Going out to Hoboken, I think I'll need to bring friends
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